Class Lesson October 13, 2013

Hey Gang,

We begin a new series this week entitled "When Relationships Collide." This series is all about thriving in the midst of conflicts. We all face conflict. Some conflict is quick and over in a moment. Other conflicts can last a lifetime. Just because two people disagree or have different ideas doesn’t necessarily mean the conflict is detrimental. What we typically think of as conflict (when it becomes a problem) arises out of our attitude or response to the situation. Because conflict in one form or another is inevitable in our relationships, we need to deal with it in appropriate, biblical, Christ-honoring ways.

Here are our lessons in this series:

1. Even Christians Collide (Mary & Martha) Luke 10:38-42 
2. It’s Not About Me (David & Saul) 1 Samuel 24:1-15 
3. Stand Down (Abraham & Lot) Genesis 13:1-18 
4. Stand Your Ground (Paul & Peter) Galatians 2:1-14 
5. Step In (Abigail – David & Nabal) 1 Samuel 25:14-17, 23-28, 32-35 
6. The Big Picture (Joseph & His Brothers) Genesis 37:5-8, 26-28; 50:15-21

What is the silliest argument you’ve ever been a part of?

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The Bible Meets Life

Some of the biggest fights I have witnessed have been over trivial things in a church:

• Paint color
• Carpet or tile
• Order of service
• Whether to buy toilet paper in bulk or as needed

In every situation, Christians were doing the arguing. Most of the time there are two legitimate sides to the discussion, but those involved feel that only their opinion is valid enough to defend.


If we step back, in each of the examples above, we can see they are trivial in light of the eternal issues the church faces. None of us wants to admit that we get upset about trivial things because they don’t seem trivial to us. But conflict can arise because of different priorities. The story of Mary and Martha is an example of this.


The question in today’s lesson is not “Who’s right and who’s wrong?” but “What should be our focus and priority at the moment?”

Here’s the Setting

As Jesus journeyed toward Jerusalem (Luke 9:51), He stopped at the home of Mary and Martha. While Jesus taught in their home, Martha focused on the duties of a hospitable host, but Mary focused on listening to Jesus teach. Both women were doing good things, but at the moment, only one was necessary: to listen to Jesus teach. Here a situation arose that allowed Jesus to teach a valuable lesson about priorities. 

The Point

Conflict can arise because of different priorities.

I. MARTHA AND MARY – LUKE 10:38-42

38 While they were traveling, He entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said. 40 But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” 41 The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”





Which sister do you most relate to and why?



What was spiritual about Martha’s actions?

• Martha welcomed Jesus into her home. Hospitality was an important part of a woman’s responsibility in the first-century culture. Her responsibilities would have included preparing the room and preparing the meal for her guests. Martha busily prepared for Jesus’ coming and all the things He would need while there, while her sister Mary … sat at the Lord’s feet. Martha prioritized the preparations for Jesus’ stay in their home. Jesus did not blame Martha for being concerned about household chores. He was only asking her to set priorities. It is possible for service to Christ to degenerate into mere busywork that is no longer full of devotion to God.

What was spiritual about Mary’s actions?

• Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, soaking in the teaching He provided. Mary prioritized the time with Jesus.

How can our responsibilities be a source of conflict?

• Martha was correct that someone had to attend to the details of Jesus’ stay, but would it have been better for both of them to miss His teaching? Martha was distracted, she was being dragged around by the many details of hospitality, pulled away from greater priorities.
• Busy work is not the same as prioritized work. Things that pull us away from our top priority, Jesus Christ, must be identified and corrected. Martha came to Jesus in front of everyone asking if He didn’t care that she was left to serve alone. Questioning Mary’s priorities was bad. Questioning Jesus’ heart was the worst result of her mistaken priorities. Martha’s priorities created conflict with both her sister and her Lord.
• If mistaken priorities can create conflict in our relationships with others and with Jesus, then clarifying His priorities in our lives should be the utmost importance. Martha’s direct anger was against Mary. However, Martha shifted her frustration to Jesus, demanding that He tell Mary to help. Not only had Martha prioritized tasks above her relationship with her sister, but she also prioritized tasks over her relationship with Jesus.
• Our best intentioned service can become a distraction if our attitudes are not right.
• Discipleship includes learning of and from Jesus.
• Mary and Martha both loved Jesus. On this occasion they were both serving Him. But Martha thought Mary’s style of serving was inferior to hers. She didn’t realize that in her desire to serve, she was actually neglecting her guest.
• Are you so busy doing things for Jesus that you’re not spending any time with Him? Don’t let your service become self-serving.

When was a time you had to choose between studying the Bible and work that needed to be done?

• Every day we make choices based on what takes precedence at the moment. In the work of making decisions, it isn’t always about right and wrong as much as it is about good and better.

What must you consider when you are deciding between good, better, and best?

• Conflict between believers can be settled when both parties come together in Jesus’ presence.
• What we learn of and from Jesus cannot be taken from us.

Live It Out

The comparison of good with better in this story does not represent choosing between having Christ and not having Christ. This is a story about the need for Christian discipleship, not an evangelistic appeal to be saved. It is a story about devotion to Christ and choosing how to express commitment to Jesus. A person, as Martha, can choose to do a right thing but in the wrong spirit at the wrong time. Moreover, a person may determine that the way he or she chooses to show devotion to the Lord is the only way, leading to a judgmental attitude and contentious spirit toward another believer. 

Prayer of Commitment

Dear Father, forgive me for creating conflict with another brother or sister by thinking that what I want is most important, even more important than sitting together at Jesus’ feet. Amen. 



A Big Thanks to Mark Krohl for opening our new series on When Relationships Collide.

In His Love,

David & Susan

Class Lesson October 6, 2013

Hey Gang,




This week we will conclude our series called "Pressure Points." This Sunday we will be looking at the pressure of retaliation.





Here are our six lessons in this series:

1. The Pressure of Trials - James 1:1-4
2. The Pressure of Temptation - James 1:13-18
3. The Pressure of Partiality - James 2:1-13
4. The Pressure of Words - James 3:1-18
5. The Pressure of Conflict - James 4:1-10
6. The Pressure of Retaliation - James 5:1-11

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The Point

When someone wrongs you, respond with patient endurance.

The Bible Meets Life

The news is full of acts of retaliation. We are amazed at the acts people will carry out in reaction to what others have done, but we feel fully justified in what we personally do in retaliatory response to others. We feel the pressure to respond that way so that the offending party will know that what he or she did was wrong. We feel the pressure to correct the situation, but God offers a better solution: leave it all in His hands.

Why Seek Revenge? Why do people seek revenge? What are people looking for? What do they hope to accomplish? Why is the passion so strong?

People seek revenge when:

• They feel they have been attacked and suffered some unjust loss or injury. As a result they are feeling anger, hate, jealousy, envy, or shame.

• They are humiliated, especially if they are made to feel powerless, foolish, ridiculous, stupid, or ashamed. People seek revenge against the more powerful while they pity the less powerful.

• They feel they have to “defend the honor” of themselves, their family, ancestors, or some other group they identify with.

• The goal of revenge is to erase shame and humiliation and restore pride.

Compare Story: At age 73, Carl Ericsson was sentenced to life in prison. He’s going to spend the rest of his life in jail because he decided to seek revenge on a former high school classmate who did him wrong. Ericsson found out where his old classmate lived, rang the man’s doorbell, asked him his name, and then shot him to death. What prompted the shooting? The startling answer apparently was a 1950’s locker room humiliation that festered in Ericsson’s mind for a half-century.

How do you respond when you are humiliated? What do you do when you get cheated by a salesman or business associate? How do you handle it when your spouse lies or otherwise takes advantage of your trust? What do you do when you’re wronged in another way?

• While we may disdain the actions of Ericsson, others may see our desire for getting even just as petty.

• Most of us have felt the pressure to retaliate. At our best, we want justice. We want good to win out. At our worst, we want retaliation. We want those who injure people to pay for what they did.

James wrote to first century Christians who knew first-hand the pain of mistreatment and the pressure to exact revenge.

I. GOD’S REBUKE OF OPPRESSION – JAMES 5:1-6

Warning to the Rich

5 Come now, you rich people! Weep and wail over the miseries that are coming on you. 2 Your wealth is ruined and your clothes are moth-eaten. 3 Your silver and gold are corroded, and their corrosion will be a witness against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You stored up treasure in the last days! 4 Look! The pay that you withheld from the workers who reaped your fields cries out, and the outcry of the harvesters has reached the ears of the Lord of Hosts. 5 You have lived luxuriously on the land and have indulged yourselves. You have fattened your hearts for the day of slaughter. 6 You have condemned—you have murdered—the righteous man; he does not resist you.

 

 

Can you name the wrong actions rich people were doing?

• The rich were countrymen, perhaps unbelievers but possibly believers, exploiting the poor. Most owned large tracts of land and squeezed everyone and everything for profit. No middle class existed in New Testament times. Most people were either very rich or very poor. Such atrocities outraged James. Come now revealed the confrontation he would have toward the rich. While they did not see it coming, miseries along with difficult and painful times awaited because of their harsh and demeaning treatment of people. The tables would turn and the wealthy would weep and wail.
• The rich selfishly abused the poor to get more wealth. They greedily stockpiled their wealth. James was not advising against saving money. He was confronting the acquiring of wealth by extreme or cruel measures. The rich weren’t stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. In ancient times, wealth was hoarded in three ways: storing up food, amassing clothes, and collecting precious metals and jewels. Hoarding was ruinous to all three: Food ruined, clothes became moth-eaten, and precious metals corroded.
• A further indictment revealed the rich indulged in extravagant pleasures. They lived luxuriously, in a pampered life. They became ungodly hedonists who lived for the pleasures their wealth could buy. Their selfish focus reflected their lack of compassion for people. They could have helped by paying fair wages – they did not. James’s indictment of fattened hearts for the day of slaughter described oxen being fed but not realizing a butcher awaited them. The rich pampered themselves without realizing that God’s judgment awaited their self-absorption. The wealthy, especially any believers among them, should not have been so blinded. But they behaved like mindless, unthinking animals. They would pay.

What emotion do you feel when you read James’ words to the rich?

• James proclaims the worthlessness of riches, not the worthlessness of the rich. Today’s money will be worthless when Christ returns, so we should spend our time accumulating the kind of treasures that will be worthwhile in God’s eternal kingdom.
• Money is not the problem; Christian leaders need money to live and to support their families; missionaries need money to help them spread the gospel; churches need money to do their work. It is the love of money that leads to evil (1 Tim. 6:10) and causes some people to oppress others in order to get more. This is a warning to all Christians who are tempted to adopt worldly standards rather than God’s standards (Rom. 12:1-2) as well as an encouragement to all those who are oppressed by the rich.
• Righteous men were defenseless people, probably poor laborers. Poor people who could not pay their debts were thrown in prison or forced to sell all their possessions. At times, they were even forced to sell their family members into slavery. With no opportunity to work off their debts, poor people often died of starvation. God called this murder. Hoarding money, exploiting employees, and living self-indulgently will not escape God’s notice.

What is the message to the rich?

• Warning against gaining wealth by exploiting the poor.
• Warning about indulging in extravagant pleasures – they lived luxuriously.

What should be the understanding of wealth for the Christian?

• America’s greatest sin is materialism. Few people today can say as did the Apostle Paul, “I have learned to be content with what I have.”
• Jesus had a lot to say about money because He knew that money represented blood, sweat and tears; and that our attitude toward it is an accurate gauge of our character and our sense of values. He knew that money could be a blessing or a curse. He knew that it could be the root of all evil or a means of advancing His kingdom on earth. He knew that it could be either a symbol of selfishness or a token of selflessness, depending on the way we used it.
• Many of Jesus’ parables had to do with stewardship of time, talent or money. He was tremendously concerned that nothing be wasted, but that every God-given commodity be used constructively. He spoke of the Prodigal Son who spent his money in the wrong way; the foolish man who invested it in the wrong places; the Pharisee who gave it with the wrong motive. He spoke also of the poor widow who gave as everyone should give.
• Jesus’ command was, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over …” (Luke 6:38). Yet it was more than a command. It was an invitation to glorious and abundant living. If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area of his life.
• The key word of the selfish, unregenerate person is get. The key word of the dedicated Christian should be to give.
• Tell me what you think about money, and I can tell you what you think about God, for these two are closely related. A man’s heart is closer to his wallet than almost anything else.
• It is a staggering fact that for the past several years Americans have spent ten times as much for luxuries and nonessentials as for charitable and religious purposes.
• What is the Christian’s standard of giving?
• The tithe is the Lord’s. if you use it for yourself, you are robbing God. The New Testament goes beyond the Old Testament and teaches that we are to give as God has prospered us. We are to take the tithe as a standard, but to go beyond the tithe as an indication of our gratefulness for God’s blessings on us. One of the worst sins we can commit is that of ingratitude.

Now, obviously the poor that James was writing to had been exploited by the rich and had reason to get even or to retaliate.





Why shouldn’t we get revenge when someone exploits us or takes advantage of us?

• The simple answer is that it doesn’t work. Among other failures, revenge just perpetuates the cycle of hurt and hate. The effective response is not to cave in to the pressure to retaliate, but instead to yield to God’s leadership.
• Yielding to God’s leadership is a supernatural response.

What are supernatural responses to being wronged?

• They all start with the assumption that God is better at repaying than we are. He knows what will work, when it will work, and what changes a heart.
• While we wait for God to act, we don’t just wait. We also follow God’s instructions for what to do about the wrong. One of these instructions is to not treat others so they want to retaliate against us. James describes here some wealthy people who had apparently lined their pockets through mistreatment of others. Becoming wealthy is not bad. Becoming wealthy by mistreating others is very bad. James sounded a clear warning to these cruel people: your miseries are coming.

Why should we leave retaliation and revenge in God’s hands?

1. You end the cycle of violence (Prov. 25:21-22). Joseph was wronged by his brothers. Years later he could have killed them. But he chose to forgive and work to restore his family.

2. You express faith that God will be just (Rom. 12:17-19). These verses say to not repay evil for evil and instead to do what is honorable.

3. You follow the example of Jesus (1 Pet. 2:21-24). Jesus was reviled. He suffered. He has left us His example. We can follow in His steps.





1. The wicked and unjust will be held accountable and will face the certainty of judgment.

2. The Lord hears the cries of the righteous in their times of despair and discouragement.

3. The “stuff” and pleasures of this world are temporary; they offer nothing of eternal value.







Instead of getting even, let read what James says is our proper response.

II. ENDURE OPPRESSION – JAMES 5:7-8

Waiting for the Lord

7 Therefore, brothers, be patient until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth and is patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. 8 You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, because the Lord’s coming is near.


When we have been unjustly treated or wronged…



How can we work for justice without veering into retaliation?

• James says for us to endure our oppression by being patient.
• Patience is one of several proactive practices we can take when we’ve been wronged.
• The victims of abuse and oppression by the rich were instructed by James to be patient.
• Having suffered incredible injustice, first-century Christians certainly felt the pressure to retaliate and to take their own revenge. Instead, James offered two better solutions to revenge: Choose patience and strengthen your hearts.
• The Christian believer is to face the trials of life with patient endurance.
• Christian believers are to take actions that make them spiritually strong.
• As Christians, our hope is in the imminent coming of the Lord.

What is patience?

• Patience isn’t a spiritual gift exercised by a few; it’s the fruit of the Spirit to be demonstrated by all Christians. Patience is a choice, not a feeling. Patience is evidence of God’s love inside us.
• Patient – It literally means long tempered. It carries the idea of waiting while depending on God. It’s choosing to keep your cool and take a long time before you blow your lid. Patience is the choice to endure and bear suffering without staying angry.
• A patient person has a long fuse when situations are out of control; they don’t blow up when things go wrong; they don’t get overheated with combative people. Patience demands an attitude of restraint when one would prefer to retaliate. When practicing patience, we follow God’s example. As God is patient with us, we are to be patient with others, including those who have wronged us. This patience should last until the Lord’s coming.

Why choose patience?

• God can do a better job of repaying than you can. A day is coming when God will make all the wrong things right. When Jesus comes, His power and glory will be revealed, and He will overthrow every enemy. In that day, the wicked will be judged and our faithfulness will be rewarded.
• God’s justice may take time. But like the farmer waiting on the early and late rain, you trust that in due season, God will make all things right.

This passage does not preclude us from seeking justice for others’ wrongful actions. Earlier, James called us to look after widows and orphans, the ones susceptible to injustice in his day (Jas. 1:27). The passage emphasizes not taking personal vengeance when wronged. First we need to examine our own hearts, confronting any selfishness or greed before we take any action toward others. Any action motivated by selfish reasons or vengeance is condemned.

III. AVOID RETALIATION – JAMES 5:9-11

9 Brothers, do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged. Look, the judge stands at the door! 10 Brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the Lord’s name as an example of suffering and patience. 11 See, we count as blessed those who have endured. You have heard of Job’s endurance and have seen the outcome from the Lord. The Lord is very compassionate and merciful.





What does patience offer that retaliation or revenge never will?

• Believers are to reject the tendency to grumble against others, for they too will be subject to the judgment. Complaining or groaning involves condemnation and disparagement against another. When wronged, our natural tendency is to get even, often with criticism, complaining, and insults. We want others to know we have been hurt. If we can’t hurt physically those who wronged us, we do it verbally. It’s hard to be quiet when wronged. But James reminds his readers that the same Lord who would judge their abusers will judge them, too.
• God’s blessing comes to those who persevere in faith – remember Job.
• The Lord is compassionate and merciful in His dealings with His people.
• God has a purpose that ultimately will be accomplished.

A coworker circulates a rumor that costs you a significant promotion.

Responding with patient endurance will benefit me by:______________________



Responding with patient endurance will benefit my coworker by:______________



Responding with patient endurance will benefit others by:___________________ 







Can We Pray For God to Punish or Harm Someone?


This type of prayer has a special name - it's called imprecatory prayer. There are many examples of this in the Psalms, especially 58, 59 and 69. David writes in Psalm 69, "May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see, and their backs be bent forever. Pour out your wrath on them; let your fierce anger overtake them. May their place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in their tents."



We need to be very careful with this type of prayer for it's a very fine line between appealing to God's perfect sense of justice and lashing out because our pride has been hurt.



Are we not to love our enemies? If we are going to pray for God to punish, curse or harm someone, we need to examine our motives. What are we hoping will be the result? If we want revenge because that person hurt us, then our motives are not honest. We should be asking God to help us to forgive that person, for the desire for revenge is not holy and it will end up causing our hearts to harden.



An important clue to watch for is that we are asking God to harm or punish someone in the same way they hurt us. This is an indication that we want revenge, not justice. If you've been hurt by a boyfriend who was unfaithful and you find yourself asking God to make his new girlfriend cheat on him so he knows how it feels, that's a pretty strong indicator that your motive is not pure. Forgiveness and healing should be your priorities.



On the other hand, if we are seeking for God to be glorified, then we may be right to ask for God's righteous punishment. In particular, when someone is doing something unholy such as worshiping the devil or persecuting Christians, then it is right that we should ask God to punish that person so He would be glorified. It might be right and even loving to ask God to harm the person in order to get their attention and stop what they're doing. We are not asking for our own gain, only that justice would be done and God would be rightly worshiped and obeyed.



Finally, we should remember that justice belongs to the Lord alone. When we pray for justice or punishment, we should be certain to make sure that we ask the Lord to deliver it in His way at His appropriate time. We should never seek for permission to deliver it ourselves unless we also happen to be part of God's appointed institutions, such as an officer of the law or a judge. It may be fine to ask God for justice, but we must be patient and allow God to work through the means that He has determined.





"Pray For You"

I haven't been to church since I don't remember when
Things were goin' great 'til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can't go hatin' others who have done wrong to you
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you

I'm really glad I found my way to church
'Cause I'm already feelin' better and I thank God for the words
Yeah I'm goin' take the high road
And do what the preacher told me to do
You keep messin' up and I'll keep prayin' for you

I pray your tire blows out at 110
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos

I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car,
wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
I pray for you




How do you lead someone to take his or her finger off the button of retaliation?

1. Explain the danger. Carl Ericsson was sent to prison in 2012. But he had been in prison since the event first happened in the 1950s.
2. Let it go. If someone has wronged you, stop dwelling on it. Forgive and keep forgiving each time you remember the hurt.
3. Repay with kindness. Find a specific way to do good to the one who has wronged you (see Rom. 12:17-21).
4. Work for justice. Get involved with a Christ-centered organization that works on behalf of an oppressed group. Instead of getting even, get free!

Live It Out

We have all had those moments. Someone spoke an unkind word or made a derogatory comment to us. A family member cheated us out of something that was rightfully ours. A coworker misrepresented us before the boss in a way that injured our prospects for advancement. A friend betrayed us. These examples and others that are fresh on your mind right now hurt us with a pain as serious as anything inflicted on our flesh.



One immediate reaction is to promise ourselves that eventually we will even the score. If allowed to fester, the promise may even begin to take shape as an actual action. But wait! Maybe through a word from a friend, a sermon from a pastor, a Scripture verse in our devotional reading, or the lyric of a hymn or Christian song, we are reminded that retaliation is not the purview of the one who stands in right relationship with God. We are patiently to endure the stress and distress; confident the Lord will judge where judgment is due and will bring blessings to our lives by our faithfulness to Him.




Pressure Points

Over the last six weeks, as we’ve faced common pressure points seen in the Book of James, the ultimate goal has been for all of us to develop into people who know Christ and His gracious work, who are contributing servants in the community of faith, and who are effectively engaging the culture without losing distinction.



Christ – No one faced greater pressure than Jesus Christ, who faced incredible trials and temptations. However, Jesus endured the extreme trial and agony of the cross with joy, knowing what it would accomplish for us (Heb. 12:2). And because He never gave in to a single temptation, He was able to bring us forgiveness for our sins and empowerment to stand against temptation.



Community – Because anyone can become a part of the family of God, we are to treat all people with the same love we express to Christ. Consequently, when we stand together, we support and encourage each other in the midst of whatever pressures we are facing.



Culture – The body of Christ can truly impact the culture with their treatment of people who are different from them socio-economically, politically, and ethnically. A love for Christ that is expressed in love for all people can transform a society. The meekness and strong resolve of those who endure injustice patiently is a strong witness to the group or culture that oppresses them. Society can be transformed by the quiet witness of those who endure opposition yet continue to love those who are against them.

Prayer of Commitment

Lord, however I may feel wronged or mistreated today, help me to respond with the patient endurance that comes only from trusting in You, the Almighty Lord who is coming again. Amen.

Hope to see everyone this Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan