The 2nd Half of Marriage Class: 2019-01-20

Our Prayer

Our Prayer

Heavenly Father, I know that I have sinned against You and that my sins separate me from You. I am truly sorry. I now want to turn away from my sinful past and turn to You for forgiveness. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that Your Son, Jesus Christ, died for my sins, that He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send Your Holy Spirit to help me obey You and to convict me when I sin. I pledge to grow in grace and knowledge of You. My greatest purpose in life is to follow Your example and do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Class Lesson January 27, 2019

THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE

In the book A Woman Overwhelmed, Hayley DiMarco stated, “There are a lot of things to be overwhelmed with … worry, fear, faith, doubt, loss, gain, failure, rejection, acceptance, finances, love, hate, regret, responsibility, organization, mess, loneliness, hopelessness, inability, lack, abundance … and the list could go on. … But if I’m honest with myself, I’m not so much overwhelmed with my life as I am with everyone else’s. … If everyone would just do what I want them to do, I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed.”

She concluded, “There are two results of comparing yourself with another human being: pride and depression.”1

In the two psalms we look at in this session, we find that even the psalmist had times when he was depressed and distressed. But God’s presence can give us the encouragement we need. He helps us look above and beyond our circumstances. In these verses we see the constant reminder to put our hope in God and worship Him in spite of anything we may face.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Psalm 42:1-3

1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”

We all go through times when everything seems to be coming at us at once. We may feel like we’re drowning. Whether we call it “the blues” or full-blown depression, we feel overwhelmed. Biblical leaders, historical figures, and great preachers all have experienced times of overwhelming hopelessness.

Moses. Moses felt so overwhelmed by the Israelites’ endless complaining he urged God, “If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin” (Num. 11:15).

Elijah. Elijah was overwhelmed with his fear of Jezebel that he prayed, “I have had enough, LORD. … Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors” (1 Kings 19:4).

Abraham Lincoln. As a lawyer, Abraham Lincoln suffered such depression that his friends kept all knives away for fear he might commit suicide. He wrote, “I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on earth. … To remain as I am is impossible. I must die or be better.”2

Charles Haddon Spurgeon. The great preacher from London was plagued with depression: “I, of all men, am perhaps the subject of the deepest depression at times. … I am the subject of depression so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go to.”3

THE POINT: God lifts us up when circumstances pull us down.

What does this tell us? Some of the greatest believers, mightily used of God, have experienced low spirits. Experiencing times of depression does not mean we’re less spiritual. During these difficult times we need to become like the deer the psalmist described in verse 1.

This is how we should long for God in our lives. The psalmist thirsted for the only true God. It was his way of saying he was tired of the false gods that people put in the place of holy God. At this point, we likewise need to make a decision. We must decide that, even in the midst of the overwhelming nature of life, we would rather have God’s presence over everything else. Like the psalmist, we need to “thirst(s) for God,” ask when we can be with Him again, and shed tears when we sense that we are not near Him.

Psalm 42:6-8

6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. 8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.

Distressing times are opportunities to remember the goodness of God. The psalmist leaned on his heritage of being a Hebrew. He sang about the promised land that God gave to his people. The land was a sign of God’s blessing to His chosen people. The Jordan River, Mount Hermon, and Mount Mizar were all recognizable landmarks to the Jewish people of his day. They were reminders that God never gives up on His promises, and one of those promises is His presence in our lives. Even when we struggle with an overwhelming sense of depression, we have many lingering reminders of God’s presence with us.

THE POINT: God lifts us up when circumstances pull us down.

The psalmist felt like he was drowning. “All your waves and breakers have swept over me.” It was as if every time he came up for air, he got another mouth full of water! Even though he felt like he was drowning, he affirmed what he knew to be true: the Lord loved him and would be with him no matter what.

In troubling times, we can experience the consistency of God’s faithfulness and love. Sometimes we have the chance to struggle with life in the light of day, but what about the terrors that wait to pounce on us in the middle of the night? It does not matter. God is present at all times and in all states of affairs. No matter what we are facing, we can hold on to Him in prayer. Even in trying times, we can choose to have a song of joy in our hearts and not a funeral dirge.

Even in his “downcast” state, the psalmist still spoke with confidence. The psalmist knew God would be faithful. The One who has been faithful to us in the past is the same One who will be faithful to us in the present and the future.

When we’re driving, it is good to glance periodically in the rear view mirror, but we can’t fix our eyes on what’s behind us or we will have a wreck. Perhaps our overwhelming circumstances are tied to something we’ve done. We can’t continue to look back at our bad decisions, bad experiences, broken relationships, past mistakes, and sins. Instead, we should embrace the faithful love of God as expressed in Jesus Christ. Confess the past and move forward in Christ. Affirm that God is the God of your present and your eternal future. He is faithful and will come through!

Psalm 43:3-5

3 Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. 4 Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

It’s one thing to know in our minds that overwhelming circumstances are not the end of us, but it’s another thing to move our hearts to that place as well. We can take the sting out of our feelings of abandonment by remembering that God is still with us. But we always need to take another step. We want to get from that thirsty place of wondering about God’s presence to enjoying a deep encounter with Him. Interestingly, the only way to do it is to trust in God’s revelation to us.

There is no shame in asking, “Why?” The psalmist repeatedly asked, “Why?” In fact, it is healthy to engage God in honest prayer when we have doubts. When you don’t feel like worship, pray anyway. It’s the only way we can progress from feeling distant from God to the reality of intimacy with Him.

The psalmist knew deep down that his focus needed to be on God. Therefore, he made a statement of faith three times, declaring, “I will yet praise him” (42:5,11; 43:5). Each time he said it, he demonstrated how his outlook had changed, proclaiming how he had come to view the Lord intimately.

Our only hope for victory is to focus on Christ and praise Him as our Savior and our God! In Psalms 42 and 43, the psalmist acknowledged his feelings and despair, worshiped God in the midst of them, affirmed the truth in spite of how he felt, and chose to worship God no matter what.

His view of God and his relationship with Him changed. His outlook on life and his circumstances also changed as a result. Circumstances in life will either make us or break us. We can either be the victim of them or the victor over them!

THE POINT: God lifts us up when circumstances pull us down.

LIVE IT OUT

God is greater than your circumstances. What will you do with that truth? Consider the following applications:

Talk to God. If you are hurt, angry, or disappointed with God because of your circumstances, talk to Him about it. The psalmist wrote honestly about his feelings and circumstances, and an honest prayer is the place to start in getting rightly focused on God.

Worship. Make a concerted effort to worship God. Worship and praise during your private devotional life and actively engage with others as you worship at church.

Talk to someone. Do a serious personal evaluation about what causes depression in your life. Admit that it is real and it is serious. It might be time to talk with a close friend, pastor, or counselor about it.

We all have times when we feel overwhelmed. The psalmist certainly did. But in those times we can bare our hearts before the Lord and look to Him for help. Sometimes He’ll send that help through others.

Hope to see you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan

Teacher's Notes:

Rainy Days & Mondays

Click Here to Watch

WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES OVERWHELM

Video: Suicides – Washington Post

The problems most frequently associated with suicide, according to the study, are strained relationships; life stressors, often involving work or finances; substance use problems; physical health conditions; and recent or impending crises. The most important takeaway, mental health professionals say, is that suicide is an issue not only for the mentally ill but for anyone struggling with serious lifestyle problems.

Washington Post Video

Click Here to Watch

Personal misfortune and suffering are real. People lose jobs, houses are foreclosed, children die, accidents kill innocent persons. These tragedies bring pain, grief, and turmoil. Often, people ask in these times, “Where is God?”

For people of faith, we know God exists. We believe He is present at all times. But, let’s be honest, it’s hard to be enthusiastic about God when He seems to be absent at tragic times.

The Psalmist had this thought and experience.

In the two psalms we look at in this lesson, we find that even the psalmist had times when he was depressed and distressed. But God’s presence can give us the encouragement we need. He helps us look above and beyond our circumstances. In these verses we see the constant reminder to put our hope in God and worship Him in spite of anything we may face.

The Setting: Psalms 42 and 43 can be taken together as a single lament. The psalmist expressed a great desire to be present and experience worship at the temple in Jerusalem, but he was unable. The reason for his absence from Jerusalem is not indicated, but suggestions range from his being unable to go to the temple because of distance, sickness, conflict, or exile. Whatever the reason, the psalmist expressed and experienced a deep longing for God.

Psalm 42:1-8; 43:3-5

42:1-8 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore, I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.

..........................

43:3-5 Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Deep calls to deep (42:7)—The psalmist personified the waters, which call to one another as they flow over the waterfalls.

Downcast (43:5)—The Hebrew term comes from a root meaning “to be bowed down” and refers to a person weighed down with many cares and concerns.

What caused the Psalmist despair? What caused his discouragement, his distress, his depression? The Psalmist had seen better days.

He felt separated from God (vv. 1-2). He remembered the time when he used to be in God's house but was now separated by many miles either by duty or force from Jerusalem and the Temple. In Old Testament thought, God's presence was in the Temple. The Psalmist was miles from the Temple and therefore removed from the presence of God.
He felt sadness (v. 3). The geographical separation inflicted an emotional pain. His grief became bitter as he tasted the salt in his tears. He remembered the times he had spent in the Temple and his participation in religious services. But those times were a distant memory, experiences in the past, which once brought joy, but now brought sadness. The Psalmist experienced what one man wrote of as the “dark night of the soul.” That time when one feels completely and utterly alone, abandoned by God. Repeatedly, the Psalmist questioned God. He was fond of using the word, we often use when life careens out of control, why. In speaking to God, we ask, “Why?” And, God did not answer. The Psalmist was greeted with silence and separation.

Biblical leaders, historical figures, and great preachers all have experienced times of overwhelming hopelessness.

Moses felt so overwhelmed by the Israelites’ endless complaining he urged God, “If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin” (Num. 11:15).
Elijah was overwhelmed with his fear of Jezebel that he prayed, “I have had enough, LORD. … Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors” (1 Kings 19:4).
Abraham Lincoln, as a lawyer, suffered such depression that his friends kept all knives away for fear he might commit suicide.
Charles Haddon Spurgeon. The great preacher from London was plagued with depression.

How can our circumstances make us feel abandoned, alone, or far from God?

I. There are times when we experience a longing for God because we feel abandoned.

Even people of faith have periods of life when they feel overwhelmed by life circumstances. In difficult times, we may be tempted to question if God is present or if He cares about us. The greatest longing of our hearts ought to be for the refreshing presence of God experienced in our worship of Him. Believers can expect to be taunted or scoffed at by those who have no relationship with God.
What did that despair look like? The feeling that God had abandoned the Psalmist caused great pain. Consequently, the Psalmist cried out, “Why, my soul, are you so dejected? Why are you in such turmoil?” (Psalm 42:5,11, 43:5). The term dejected is the picture of a “cast down” sheep, where the sheep had turned on its back and could not get up by itself or without help. Legs are sticking straight up in the air, they are helpless and vulnerable to attack. Any preying animal would have an easy feast. A cast down sheep is a picture of hopelessness. The Psalmist felt like a cast down sheep. He felt like curling up in the fetal position and quitting. Likewise, it applies to us when we are at the end of the rope, and the line is slipping in our hands. We are ready to throw in the towel. We are in a situation where we feel all alone, abandoned by God, hearing the taunts of our enemies, knowing that it is just a matter of time. Feeling that God is absent, we give up hope. In such situations, some people give up on God. Feeling as though God has abandoned them, they turn the tables and abandon God.

Did the Psalmist give up on God? Did he abandon God?

The answer is no. The Psalmist found help in the statement: "Put your hope in God" (Psalm 42:5, 11, 43:5). Hope is such a powerful virtue. While faith belongs more to the mind and love to the heart, hope concerns itself with the soul. Hope is medicinal. Hope can transform despair, defeat, and death knowing that there are no hopeless situations there are merely people who have grown hopeless about them. You may feel downcast. You may sense that God has abandoned you. You may question, "Where is God?" Your situation may appear bad, hopeless, in fact. Your job may be slipping away. You may be wondering where you are going to get the money for the mortgage payment this month. Your marriage may be unraveling. Your children may be causing you to pull your hair out. Or, any of many things that may be causing you to ask "Where is God?"
The social critic, Richard John Neuhaus, offered these insightful words: “The times may be bad, but they are the only times we are given. Remember, hope is still a Christian virtue, and despair is a mortal sin.”
Shawshank Redemption: “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
The Christian's hope is not fleeting but guaranteed and assured. It is based on the promises of God, secured by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and appropriated by faith. That's why a believer can sing, "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name. On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand." At those moments when we are overwhelmed by disillusionment, discouragement, depression or even despair, we must never forget that God is our hope.

What do we do when God seems far from us? What do we do when we are at the end of the rope and about to lose all hope? The Psalmist provided some practical advice.

Remember God (42:4). He was saying that when he is blue, he will call to remembrance past days of victory when God was very real, very present. Understanding the presence of God is like driving a car. We move along and don't see God, but once we look in the rearview mirror, then we can see how God has graced our lives, touching our lives. We may not see God or feel God at the moment of crisis. We may feel abandoned, but in time if we look back, we can see how God was present in our life—through the touch of a friend, the word of a pastor, the help of neighbors, the strength of God's protection—those things we are to remember.
Praise God (42:5). We think of praise as acknowledging the good things that have happened to us. This is an incomplete understanding of praise. To praise God is to accept from God's hand whatever may come, be that good or bad, helpful or hurtful, life or death. Praise recognizes that God is God and He has the right to do whatever He pleases. To honestly praise God is to accept whatever comes to us.
Pray to God (42:8). The greatest prayers may very well be those prayers when we can’t feel God or hear from God, but we keep on praying believing that God is present and while we can’t sense Him, we know that He is present.
Learn of God (43:3). The word truth is a reference to God’s Word and the word light is the understanding of the truth. Every believer in Jesus Christ must ultimately come to the place where he or she is going to trust God's Word entirely before he or she can experience the present reality of God.
Hang On. Priest sings

How does remembering God help when facing dark times?

II. When we experience overwhelming circumstances, remember God is in our lives.

Even in times of depression and struggle, remember God Himself even more than the things associated with God. We may feel overwhelmed by what is happening to us, but God’s love toward us is still certain. Our relationship to the Lord, our communion with Him, and our worship of Him is not dictated by our feelings but by our faith.

What hope do you see in these verses?

How does God send light and truth to lead us out of dark places?

III. We need to trust God’s guidance, knowing He is the source of hope.

The way into the presence of God is to follow the truth of what He has made known. Being in the presence of the Lord generates joyful worship. When we wait and trust in the Lord, we have no reason to be overwhelmed by despair.

Is It Depression or Just the Blues?

What’s the difference?

Very thankful and proud to have my son, David R Ballinger, Jr come and share his struggle with depression and how God has helped him go forward.

Dave:

How did you know it was depression?

What have you learned about it?

How has God helped you to deal with it?

Sooner or later, everyone gets the blues. Feeling sadness, loneliness, or grief when you go through a difficult life experience is part of being human. And most of the time, you can continue to function. You know that in time you will bounce back, and you do.

But what if you don’t bounce back? What if your feelings of sadness linger, are excessive, or interfere with your work, sleep, or recreation? What if you’re feeling fatigue or worthlessness, or experiencing weight changes along with your sadness? You may be experiencing major depression.

Also known as clinical depression, major depressive disorder, or unipolar depression, major depression is a medical condition that goes beyond life’s ordinary ups and downs. Almost 18.8 million American adults experience depression each year, and women are nearly twice as likely as men to develop major depression. People with depression cannot simply “pull themselves together” and get better. Treatment with counseling, medication, or both is key to recovery.

Conclusion: Your situation may appear hopeless. You may sense that God has abandoned you. You may be agreeing with the critics who question, “Where is your God?” But hold on, or better, hope on. God is not dead. God is not distant. God is present.

The Point:

God lifts us up when circumstances pull us down.

Video: Priest sings…

Click Here to Watch

Help the group members see God’s hand in their circumstances. Ask Him for the strength to focus through hard times.

Psalm 42:1-3

Psalm 42:1-3 Commentary

[Verse 1] The psalmist used the simile of a deer longing for water to express his longing for God. The imagery pictures a deer, most likely after experiencing the effects of a drought, longing and searching for cool, refreshing, life-giving streams of water that could quench its thirst. As the deer longed for its thirst to be quenched, so too the psalmist longed for his inward thirst for God to be quenched. Note that the writer’s immediate focus was not on the weight of his burdens or his circumstances. The desire of his heart was that his communion with God be restored. The writer did not view closeness to God as a luxury or something born out of convenience. Rather, as the deer needed the life-giving streams of water to survive, so too the psalmist viewed God’s presence as a life-giving necessity. [Verse 2] The psalmist described God as the living God. God is alive. He is not like the false gods of the nations, idols made by human hands. (See Ps. 115:4‑8.) The living God brings salvation, giving those who seek Him the living water. (See John 4:14.) The place in which the psalmist had previously experienced the presence of God was in the temple in Jerusalem. He desired to return there and once again experience God through worship. This is indicated by the psalmist’s question of when he could once more meet with God. [Verse 3] Living apart from the land of Israel, the psalmist could no longer worship inside the majestic Jerusalem temple. How could one describe such bitterness and grief? The psalmist stated that his tears had been his food day and night. In other words, the longing and pain was constant, with the psalmist day and night. The psalmist longed for the life-giving water of God, but instead was tasting the agonizing tears of isolation and emptiness. Unfortunately, this feeling was magnified by the continued jeers and taunts of his enemies. They mockingly asked him, “Where is your God?” This question may be an indication that the psalmist was in exile. With their question, his enemies asked why, if the psalmist’s God was so great, had He abandoned him? In his condition, it must have seemed to the psalmist like God was either unwilling or unable to deliver him. Hence, he lived in this continual state of anguish, with his enemies’ taunts reinforcing the feeling of God’s absence in his life. The psalmist felt isolated from his God, his people, and his place of worship—the temple in Jerusalem. As he poured his heart out in grief, he looked back and remembered how glorious it had been to go with the people to the temple for worship. (See Ps. 42:4.) The psalmist then shifted his focus to the future. Recognizing the dejection and turmoil within his soul, he looked forward in hope that one day he once again would worship and praise God, his Savior. (See v. 5.) In the midst of his depression, the psalmist could still look forward to a day when things would change for the better. Deliverance would come, but the psalmist had to hope and wait on God.

Psalm 42:6-8

6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore, I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. 8 By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.

Psalm 42:6-8 Commentary

[Verse 6] As the psalmist experienced such overwhelming circumstances, he struggled to remember God’s presence in his life. In spite of acknowledging his hope in God, the psalmist recognized that feelings of depression and isolation were still present. The psalmist stated, My soul is downcast within me. He now used vivid imagery to demonstrate how his feelings of depression and despair had escalated. In his state of deep depression, the psalmist did what people often do when they reach such a level of despondency: he thought back to a time when things were better, to happier days. He remembered God in the context of the land in which he had lived. As the psalmist named specific locations in Israel, he emphasized his absence and distance from his land, his city Jerusalem, and its temple. These were places where in the past he had experienced the presence of God. [Verse 7] As the psalmist’s thoughts turned to the promised land, he once again used water imagery. However, instead of the gentle streams flowing in a drought-stricken land (see Ps. 42:1), he used more forceful imagery. The deafening sounds of roaring waterfalls and rough waters seemingly calling to one another surrounded the psalmist. As billows and breakers would slam into someone lost at sea, so too the psalmist felt like he was being pounded by wave after wave of grief and emptiness. The psalmist associated this water imagery with God. It was God’s waterfalls that he heard roaring in his ears. It was God’s breakers and billows that slammed into him. The psalmist had sought life-giving streams of water from God. But instead of life-giving water, God had sent him the roaring waters which flow over waterfalls and the life-threatening billows and breakers of a storm. The psalmist had sought life from God, but instead the psalmist felt like he was threatened with death. The psalmist was going through a crisis of faith. He knew God could rescue him. The question was—could he trust that God would do so? [Verse 8] In another moment of clarity, the psalmist remembered God’s love. In the midst of his “drowning” in despair and doubt, the psalmist recalled God’s love. The Hebrew term translated love refers specifically to God’s covenant love. The term emphasizes God’s faithfulness in remembering and keeping His covenants with both His people Israel specifically and to all humanity in general, even when people prove to be sinful and faithless.5 In the midst of his doubt and despair, the psalmist remembered his God who is consistently faithful to His people day and night. He recognized that his life was in the hands of God, so it was to the God of my life that the psalmist offered his prayer. In the midst of deep waters, the psalmist looked to his Rock. He questioned why God had forgotten him. (See v. 9.) Why had God left him in the hands of his enemies, who mocked him, asking, “Where is your God?” (v. 10; see v. 3). For the second time, the psalmist uttered the refrain in which he questioned the depression in his soul and urged himself to again put his hope in God, his Savior. (See v. 11.)

Psalm 43:3-5

Psalm 43:3-5 Commentary

[Verse 3] Psalm 43 is the continuation to Psalm 42. But the tone and focus are strikingly different as the psalmist turned more toward praise and a sense of determination that hadn’t been present to this point. He made a shift in thinking, turning away from self-evaluation and turning toward prayer and praise. Following the second refrain in 42:11, the psalmist was brought back into despair, wondering why he had to suffer, reminding God that he was surrounded by people who were constantly criticizing his faith and beliefs. This reminder was probably a plea to the Lord to vindicate the psalmist’s righteousness and return him to Jerusalem, back into God’s presence. (See Ps. 43:1‑2.) Verse 3 is the turning point where the psalmist moved from self-introspection to offering an urgent request to God for help. Surrounded by doubt, despair, depression, and the constant criticism of his enemies, the psalmist acknowledged that his only hope of being liberated from his oppression was by an act of God, his “stronghold” (v. 2). The psalmist’s request in verse 3 personifies two character traits of God: His light and His faithful care (truth). Light provides understanding to those seeking God, revealing and bringing them into God’s presence. Truth designates the expression of God’s faithfulness. It is the manifestation of His fidelity. It speaks of His Word and by it, coupled with the light, the psalmist could find his way back home. [Verse 4] Finally the psalmist began to anticipate deliverance. In fact, he used a new designation for God, referring to Him as God, my joy and my delight. That is what restoration offers. The psalmist now had not only hope but an expectation that God would do something great in his life as well. While the metaphorical waves had threatened to smother him, the truth of God broke through to allow the psalmist to see with his spiritual eyes what his circumstances had kept hidden. He envisioned the time when he would return to Jerusalem and worship—when the psalmist would come to the altar of God and praise God for delivering him out of his miserable circumstances. [Verse 5] The psalms’ refrain is repeated again (see Ps. 42:5,11). The repetition of this chorus interspersed among his admissions of despair demonstrates how intense the conflict can be between faith and doubt, between hope and depression/despair. It is a constant threat as believers struggle to navigate the hills and valleys of life while at the same time attempting to keep their focus on God, our Savior.

While some people suffer with medical conditions such as clinical depression, which should be addressed by trained physicians, the situation the writer described in Psalms 42–43 is the sadness, anxiety, doubt, and so forth that all people are susceptible to from time to time. While the psalmist grappled with his emotions, the refrain that appears three times indicates that he realized that the remedy to his situation was to put his faith in God. While he did not deny what he was experiencing, he at the same time looked to the One who is greater than his feelings. The psalmist found comfort when he reflected on God’s previous provision for him and understood that the same God who acted on his behalf in the past would certainly do the same in the future.

LIVE IT OUT

Talk to God. If you are hurt, angry, or disappointed with God because of your circumstances, talk to Him about it. The psalmist wrote honestly about his feelings and circumstances, and an honest prayer is the place to start in getting rightly focused on God.

Worship. Make a concerted effort to worship God. Worship and praise during your private devotional life and actively engage with others as you worship at church.

Talk to someone. Do a serious personal evaluation about what causes depression in your life. Admit that it is real and it is serious. It might be time to talk with a close friend, pastor, or counselor about it.

January 21 is expected to be the saddest day of 2019

If previous years are an indication, the blues strike the hardest on the third Monday of the new year. Chalk it up to the post-holiday funk, failure to keep New Year’s resolutions, or the bleak winter. Or add all three together and you’ve got a perfect storm for depression.

Over the years, therapists have used a variety of approaches to help people with depression, especially the blues that come this time of year (seasonal affective disorder). Another form of therapy is talking hold: talk therapy.

Talk about it.

Not all therapy is merely talking, but talk therapy has been described this way: “Sessions involve working with a professional therapist to learn methods of thinking, speaking and acting that eliminate negative thoughts and replace isolating behaviors with more positive activities to banish the blues.” (Smithsonian)

Therapists have hit upon something the Bible has already made known. We were built to live in community. We are wired to live in a relationship with God and with other people. We interact. We support. We encourage. We talk.

Two people have told me how long periods of isolation bring on depression. The sadder they get, the less they want to be around people. One of these persons was my own son, and he described it as a cycle that feeds on itself.

Simply being around people is not the answer. Try that at the mall sometime. It doesn’t work. Ever visited a strange church full of people yet felt alone? The presence of bodies is not the key: supportive interaction is.

That’s the kind of community in which we were created to live—and it’s the kind of community the church is called to be.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (Rom. 12:10).
“Honor one another above yourselves” (Rom. 12:10).
“Live in harmony with one another” (Rom. 12:16).
“Have equal concern for each other” (I Cor. 12:25).
“Serve one another in love” (Gal. 5:13).
“Carry each other’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2).
“Be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Eph. 4:2).
“Be kind and compassionate to one another” (Eph. 4:32).
“Build each other up” (I Thess. 5:11).
“Encourage one another daily” (Heb. 3:13).

Some form of “one another” appears 59 times in the New Testament, so supporting and helping each other is kind of a big deal.

If depression is a recurring visitor to your house, I am not dismissing the value of counseling. But I am encouraging you to get involved with a community of believers. Don’t just “go to church.” Get involved. Participate in a small group Bible study. Talk about life and problems in a Christian community. Pray for each other.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (1 Cor. 1:3-4).

God gave us each other, so let’s help each other.

Want to talk?

Psychology Today: 7 Strategies to Face Life's Challenges - Wisdom from the Couch

In our personal lives as well as on a global scale, we face challenges that test our emotional mettle: injury, illness, unemployment, grief, divorce, death, or even a new venture with an unknown future. Here are seven strategies to help carry us through:

1. Turn Toward Reality

So often we turn away from life rather than toward it. We are masters of avoidance! But if we want to be present—to enjoy life and to be more effective in it—we must orient ourselves toward facing reality. When we are guided by the reality principle, we develop a deeper capacity to deal with life more effectively. What once was difficult is now easier. What once frightened us now feels familiar. Life becomes more manageable. And there’s something even deeper that we gain. Because we can see that we have grown stronger, we have greater confidence that we can grow even stronger still. This is the basis of feeling capable, which I think is the wellspring of a satisfying life.

2. Embrace Your Life as It Is Rather than as you Wish It to Be

Buddha taught that the secret to life is to want what you have and to not want what you don’t have. Being present means being present to the life that you have right here, right now. There is freedom in taking life as it comes to us—the good with the bad, the wonderful with the tragic, the love with the loss, and the life with the death. When we embrace it all, then we have a real chance to enjoy life, to value our experiences, and to mine the treasures that are there for the taking. When we surrender to the reality of who we are, we give ourselves a chance to do what we can do.

3. Take Your Time

As the story of the tortoise and the hare tells us, slow and steady wins the race. By being in a hurry, we actually thwart our own success. We get ahead of ourselves. We make more mistakes. We cut corners and pay for them later. We may learn the easy way but not necessarily the best way. The old adage puts it like this: the slower you go, the sooner you get there. Slow, disciplined, incremental growth is the kind of approach that leads to lasting change.

4. Practice Gratitude

It is easy to count our troubles rather than our blessings, but such an attitude undermines our ability to draw from the good that we have been given and to see our lives fundamentally as a gift. A change in perspective can make all the difference. Recognizing the good and receiving it with gratitude is a recipe for emotional health and well-being. This attitude enlarges the possibility that we can make use of the good we have been given and even use it to cope with the difficulties that we inevitably have inherited.

5. Stay Close to Your Feelings, Even the Painful Ones

Often, we find our feelings scary, heavy, and confusing, so we try to keep them at a distance. But we need our feelings in order to find satisfaction, meaning, and pleasure in life. Getting rid of feelings not only backfires but it also drains us of the psychological energy that makes life worth living. Feelings are the gas in the engine of our personalities. They are the source of motivation. They are the energy, the vitality, the juice of life. Without them, our lives wouldn’t have any personality or dimension or color. There wouldn’t be any joy or creativity or fun. There wouldn’t be you. There wouldn’t be me. Without our feelings, nothing would really matter.

6. Accept Success and Failure as Part of Life’s Journey

We are all learning. No one gets it right every time. A more compassionate attitude toward ourselves only helps us to stay in the game. The dynamic process of life—trying, succeeding, failing, and trying again—is the only way to develop lasting confidence in ourselves. We learn through experience that we can both succeed and recover from failure. We also learn to be humble and so develop a view of ourselves as limited creatures that will always need the help and support of others. No matter how mature or successful we become, the child within always will need mentors and friends who’ll see us through.

7. Tend to Your Loving Relationships

It is easy to neglect what matters the most: our relationships with those we love. These relationships don’t just happen magically; they grow and are sustained through attentive care and hard work. Mature love—whether in marriage, family relationships, or friendships—is a dynamic, living experience. It is something you choose every day. It is something that is earned every day. It requires commitment to keep it working. It involves a daily process of overcoming the distance and honoring the separateness between us. It accepts the reality that we will hurt one another and be hurt by one another. It is the nature of being human. These pains cannot be avoided. We can only devote ourselves to do what we can do to weather them and to mend them. So then, love essentially is repair work. We tend to the hurts. We try to heal them. We express our concern. We take responsibility for our mistakes; we learn to say we’re sorry. We try to make amends. We learn to forgive; we accept the forgiveness of another. As the monks do every day, we fall down and get up, fall down and get up again.

The psalmist tells us, “As for God, His way is perfect” (Psalm 18:30). If God’s ways are “perfect,” then we can trust that whatever He does—and the reason for whatever He allows—is also perfect. This may not seem possible to us, but our minds are not God’s mind. It is true that we can’t expect to understand His mind perfectly, as He reminds us, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8–9). Nevertheless, our responsibility to God is to obey Him, to trust Him, and to submit to His will, whether we understand it or not.