When Emotions Rise
Emotions. We’ve all got them. If you’re like me, you know one or two people whose lives are an emotional roller coaster, running through a gamut of emotions in a matter of minutes! We know others who are virtually unchanging and have the emotional range of a grilled cheese sandwich.
And then there’s you and me. We likely fit somewhere on that emotional spectrum. Some of us freely express our emotions—both positive and negative—and some of us try to hide them. Nothing is wrong with having negative emotions—God created humans to be emotional—but the challenge comes with how we express those emotions. Grief, fear, anger, worry, and depression hit us all—and when they do, how do we respond? How should we respond?
With this study, we’re going to examine six psalms that speak to our different emotions. While these psalmists were not hesitant to express their emotions, they directed their feelings toward God. Through their psalms, we discover how to convey our own emotions in a healthy, Christ-honoring way.
Ok...
What’s a movie that always
makes you cry?
____________________________________________
THE POINT
God responds to our sorrow
with grace and compassion.
I’ll admit it: I cry at dog movies. It probably began when, as a kid, I saw Old Yeller or Where the Red Fern Grows. Even today, I rarely get emotional while watching a movie, but when the dog dies, my wife will turn to me and ask, “Are you crying?” I won’t answer her, but the catch in my voice will tell her all she needs to know: I’m on the verge of crying over a fictitious dog in a movie.
A well-written story draws us in with characters we grow to care for. For two hours, we’re given a glimpse into someone else’s world, and we can feel genuinely sad when something tragic happens. But our sadness evaporates as quickly as the movie fades to dark, as we step back into our own life stories. But here in the real world, we can feel real sadness or grief that doesn’t quickly fade.
We all experience loss, and it’s natural—even healthy—to grieve. The “secret” is to couple our grief with a hope and trust in God. What does that look like? The writer of Psalm 116 shows us.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Psalm 116:1-4
1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. 2 Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. 3 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. 4 Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Lord, save me!”
The writer of this psalm experienced great distress and a threat to his life. Whether he faced a near-death experience or encountered severe persecution, the things the psalmist learned of God and his subsequent responses are helpful to us in a variety of situations and emotions. We’ll focus on how they speak to us in times of grief.
The psalmist was looking backward to a past event. It’s like a public testimony: Let me tell you what God has done! In this testimony, he was anything but subtle, as he began by proclaiming: “I love the Lord.” The psalmist had good reason to love Him: “he heard my cry for mercy.” As the apostle John wrote, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). We see this most through the loving sacrifice and death of Christ, but even before Jesus came to die for us, God exhibited love to His people. The psalmist experienced this love because God heard his cry for help.
As believers, we can rest assured that God always hears our prayers, but the Hebrew idea of hearing goes much further than just hearing words. It also can mean you obey what you hear.
Without knowing the specifics of what the psalmist was facing, we see a vivid image of his plight: “The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me” (v. 3). He appeared to be at death’s door. No one goes looking for distress or grief, but they have a way of finding us. No one wants “distress and sorrow”; but they find us anyway. The question is: What do we do when grief finds us?
Question 2: What might keep us from taking our sorrows to God?
In that moment, the psalmist “called on the name of the Lord: ‘Lord, save me!’” He didn’t try to overcome his situation through his own efforts. He didn’t look to other people to pull him out. He looked to God. This psalmist was not calling out to some unknown, distant entity; He was calling to the Almighty God who had revealed Himself to His people: the One who loves, hears, and responds.
When grief finds us we can feel overwhelmed. When we experience loss, we might wonder how we can live without the thing we’ve lost, whether it’s a loved one, a career, or something else we loved and relied on. In those moments, no internal pep talk will suffice. In those moments, the words of well-meaning individuals who try to boost our spirits with, “Cheer up, little buddy,” or “This too shall pass” sound hollow or empty. In our times of deep sorrow, loss, and trouble, the only solution is to call on God, the One who hears our call and responds in His love.
Psalm 116:5-9
5 The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. 6 The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. 7 Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. 8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, 9 that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
- God is gracious. Unfortunately, we often limit grace to the New Testament. We might think the Old Testament is all about works and the law, and grace is limited to the New Testament. Certainly, grace is a strong message in the New Testament because it was through the death of Jesus Christ on our behalf that we experience His grace. He met the demands of the law for us and by His grace we are saved.
- God is righteous. The root of the word righteous originally meant to be straight; it is the standard, the norm. Therefore, one who is righteous conforms to an ethical and moral standard. No one can conform to this standard like God. God is the standard of righteousness. He always does what is just and right because He is just and right.
- God is compassionate. The Hebrew word for compassion and mercy is tied to deep love, such as the love a superior has for a subordinate. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him” (Ps. 103:13). Parents can certainly understand this trait because it is what they feel for their children. And, of course, this aptly describes God’s character, but His mercy and compassion toward us far exceeds any human parent’s affection.
It’s easy to see why the psalmist looked to God. The psalmist knew that, because of God’s character—His graciousness, righteousness, and compassion—He “protects the unwary” and saves the helpless. God steps into the lives of all who, like the psalmist, humbly recognize their own inability and vulnerability.
Question 3: What are some things that have brought you healing during times of grief?
When we trust in God to rescue us through His gracious care and compassion, we can also rest. We don’t need to worry or fret. When we trust God to work, we can rest confidently knowing that He is with us and He will strengthen us.
No one should diminish the depth of grief any person feels. Grief is a powerful emotion. At some point we all experience grief. Grief is also not a sin; after all, even Jesus grieved. We will only feel overwhelmed in our grief when we fail to trust God. Christ indwells His children, and we don’t grieve alone.
Psalm 116:15-17
15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants. 16 Truly I am your servant, Lord; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains. 17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.
At first glance, verse 15 seems contradictory to other passages in the Bible. God told Ezekiel, “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone” (Ezek. 18:32). God does not want “anyone to perish” (2 Pet. 3:9), yet we read in this psalm: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants” (v. 15).
The psalmist was talking about the death of God’s children—“his faithful servants.” Some scholars interpret precious in the sense of “costly.” In other words, it’s costly and grievous to God that the praise of His children is silenced through death; therefore, He steps in, as He did with this psalmist, and rescues them from death.
Question 4: What are some benefits of trusting and thanking God during times of grief?
It’s fitting to see that God highly values His children, even in death. God also sees death differently than we do; we tend to focus on life on this earth—the here and now—but God has an eternal perspective. He knows that death is not the end; in fact, believers are never more alive than when they enter Christ’s presence for eternity! Because of the death and resurrection of Christ, death is not a tragedy for His followers; it is a triumph!
The psalmist knew he was loved and valued by God. Therefore, he would continue to serve God. The Lord had “freed me from my chains” (v. 16), and he was once again free to serve Him. As God’s servant, the psalmist would “sacrifice a thank offering” and “call on the name of the Lord.”
Admittedly, it can be hard to feel thankful in the midst of circumstances that cause us grief, but it’s in those very moments that we need to remember God and all He has done for us in Christ. In those moments, we should make the hard sacrifice to praise God. A focus on God fueled by thanks keeps us from falling into despondency—and a life of despondency devoid of hope is what Jesus’ death and sacrifice saves us from!
Question 5: How can our group be more effective in walking with one another during times of grief?
MERCY FOR ME
Reflect on your own journey in life. List several times when you have been gripped by grief.
Then list how God spoke to you during those times. Thank Him for His mercy.
My Prayer:
“But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”
PSALM 86:15
LIVE IT OUT
What will you do to remember God’s grace and compassion in your life? Choose one of the following applications:
- Pray. If you’re in a season of grief or sorrow, pray. Talk to God about what you’re experiencing and feeling. Read Psalm 116 as a prayer of trust.
- List. Make a list of all the ways God has shown you grace and compassion. When difficulties arise, pull out that list and reflect on the ways God has worked in your life. Trust God to continue His work in your life.
- Listen. If you have a friend or relative going through grief, invest time to sit with him. Just listen. You don’t have to offer advice or try to talk them out of their grief. Just sit, listen, and be the presence of Christ.
Times of grief will come upon us all. Some of them will be far worse than a scene from a movie for sure. But hope and trust in the God who responds to our sorrow with grace and compassion will surely see us through.
Looking forward to this new series on our many emotions.
See you on Sunday!
Blessings,
David & Susan
Teacher's Notes:
What’s a movie that always
makes you cry?
______________
The holiday seasons are times of joyous family
celebrations, but also a time we think of “empty chairs” when loved ones have died.
Grief: The normal process of
reacting to a loss. The loss may be physical (such as a death), social (such as
divorce), or occupational (such as a job). Emotional reactions of grief can
include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.
We all experience loss, and it’s natural — even
healthy — to grieve. The “secret” is to couple our grief with a
hope and trust in God. What does that look like?
Maybe it’s a field of dreams…video
C.S. Lewis said, ‘The pain now is part of the
happiness then. That’s the deal.’
Field of Dreams: Loss - Grief – Memories - Heaven
- If you build it, he will come.
- People will come, Ray - Longing for the past, money they have, peace that they lack
- As if they dipped themselves in magical waters – the memories will be so thick
- Reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again
- Is there a heaven? Oh yes – it’s the place where dreams come true
- Hey Dad, you want to have a catch…
God responds to our sorrow with grace and compassion.
The writer of Psalm 116 shows us that God
responds with grace and compassion.
Psalm 116:1-4
I love the Lord, for
he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to
me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of
death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was
overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Lord, save me!”
The psalmist describes feeling like he was about
to die. The pain threatened to strangle and suffocate him. Grief can and does
often feel this way. We should not minimize our feelings of pain.
In this desperate situation, the psalmist knew to
call on the Lord to save him.
………………………………………..
Question 2: What truths about God
help you during times of sorrow?
When grief finds us we can feel
overwhelmed. When we experience loss, we might wonder how we can live
without the thing we’ve lost, whether it’s a loved one, a career,
or something else we loved and relied on.
In those moments, no internal pep talk
will suffice. In those moments, the words
of well-meaning individuals who try to boost our spirits with,
“Cheer up, little buddy,” or “This too shall pass” sound hollow or empty.
In our times of deep sorrow, loss, and trouble, the only solution
is to call on God, the One who hears our call and responds in His
love.
Psalm 116:5-9
The Lord is gracious
and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the
unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet
from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
The
psalmist shifts his focus from his grief to his God. We can acknowledge our problems
but should not allow them to block our view of God. We are surrounded by the
Divine. He is full of grace, always does what is right, and is full of
compassion. When we cannot save ourselves, God can and does. God's help is
available to us all.
Being
aware of God’s presence with us should cause us to be able to rest. The
psalmist speaks to himself and tells himself to be at peace. Sometimes
we have to do this too when we find ourselves getting overwhelmed by our
feelings. Problems may be great, but God's blessing to us is greater. God is
actively involved in our lives during periods of grief, relieving our sadness
and keeping us from stumbling. Knowing that God stabilizes us enables us to
live for Him.
………………………………………..
What
are some ways that grief and sorrow affect our lives?
What are some things
that have brought you healing during times of grief?
Grief hits us in different ways. You may be familiar with the stages of grief, but we all progress through those stages in different ways. Case in point: I talked with a few friends about how they handled Christmas after the death of a parent or spouse. Here’s what they told me:
- My husband died in January, so I had 11-1/2
months until Christmas rolled around again. That spacing of time was a gift,
but it was still the “first Christmas” without him at the end of a long year of
“firsts” (birthdays, holidays, vacations) without him. What helped me was that I held on to some of the
old family traditions, but my girls and I added some new traditions too. The blend of old (familiar) + new worked well for us.
- My mom passed away in September, and our
Christmas tradition had always been to gather at her house. That first
Christmas my
oldest brother and his family invited our whole family to spend four days at his house the week
of Christmas. It was a really special time and helped so much to have a very
different Christmas holiday.
- When my dad died, it was unexpected. We celebrated Christmas
but did not follow all the same routines. We did not put up the large tree;
instead, we had a tabletop tree. I could tell at times our laughter and
enjoyment was a little overdone just to get through the memories. All in all,
it was a good Christmas. My mom’s death
was expected. Our Christmas was normal since my daughter was three and starting
to understand Christmas.
- My mother became very debilitated, and we moved
her to a nursing home close by so I could attend to her daily. Even though I
did everything I could, she had a difficult end. I experienced unexpected
regret after she died. When people told me, “But you were so attentive and
cared for her so well,” it did not help. Time helped. I just had to walk through that pain and experience my grief in
that way.
- The firsts are always difficult. I found it helpful to keep our routines and
holiday traditions the same. I also tried to bring in something new to start a new tradition. I also acknowledged
that we were greatly missing my husband and my sons’ father. We kept the focus on good
memories. It helped to laugh instead of
cry.
As you can see, there’s
a not a singular way to
“get through” the holidays, but there is one common element in each of these
stories. It’s the plural pronoun “we.” Grief can be very personal, but don’t face it
alone. Surround yourself with
family.
Surround yourself with your Bible study group or close friends.
The Book of Hebrews was written to Christians facing hardship and even
persecution, but the command given to them to face those hard times applies
equally well to the hard times of grief.
What
can we do to minister to those who are grieving?
· Let them cry
· Be available
· Give them time and grace
· Listen
Close: Times of grief will come upon us all. Some of them will be far worse than a scene from a movie for sure. But hope and trust in the God who responds to our sorrow with grace and compassion will surely see us through.
