Class Lesson for May 31, 2026

 Series: Fully Alive - A Study of Ephesians

Sermon Recap

Ephesians 5:22–33 teaches that Christian marriage is a living picture of the gospel. It begins with submission, not selfishness, and is marked by sacrificial love and deep unity. As husbands and wives live out their roles in Christ, their marriage becomes a reflection of Jesus and His church — building one another up and displaying the beauty of the gospel to the world.

2 Questions to wrestle with before Sunday: 

1. Why did God give Paul this message regarding the marriage relationship when he wasn't even married?                                                                                                            
2. Why does Paul tell the wife to submit and the husband to love?

 

  

Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives and Husbands

[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body.

[31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Ephesians 5:22-33.

Closing Thoughts

Ephesians 5 shows that Christian marriage is missional. When marriages are marked by sacrificial love, humility, and unity, they put the gospel on display for others to see. As a group, this means we support, encourage, and pray for one another’s marriages, helping each other grow in Christlikeness. We also model these same values in all relationships, showing the world a different way to live. A way that is shaped not by selfishness, but by the love of Jesus.

END

Teacher Notes: 

Ephesians 5:22-33

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What do you think marriage is supposed to look like?

Is marriage supposed to be biblical?

What does the Bible say about marriage?

• Marriage is God’s idea – Genesis 2:18-24
• Commitment is essential to a successful marriage – Genesis 24:58-60
• Romance is important – Song of Songs 4:9-10
• Marriage holds times of great joy – Jeremiah 33:10-11
• Marriage creates the best environment for raising children – Malachi 2:14-15
• Unfaithfulness breaks the bond of trust, the foundation of all relationships – Matthew 5:32
• Marriage is permanent – Matthew 19:6
• Ideally, only death should dissolve marriage – Romans 7:2-3
• Marriage is based on the principled practice of love, not on feelings – Ephesians 5:21-33
• Marriage is a living symbol of Christ and the church – Ephesians 5:23, 32
• Marriage is good and honorable – Hebrews 13:4

Meet Carl & Ellie

Click Play to Watch

What do we learn about marriage from Carl and Ellie?

What made Carl and Ellie’s relationship so meaningful wasn’t one grand moment — it was years of shared sacrifice, commitment, and love through every season of life.

Paul tells us this morning that a lasting love is built slowly over time through shared humility, forgiveness, sacrifice, and faithfulness.

Why do you think God gave Paul this message regarding the marriage relationship when he wasn't ever even married?

Paul may not have been married, but the message did not originate from Paul’s personal experience — it came from God through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

 

In Ephesians 3:3, Paul says: “By revelation he made known unto me the mystery…”

And in 2 Timothy 3:16: “All scripture is given by inspiration of God…”

 

So, the authority of Paul’s teaching does not rest on whether he personally experienced marriage. It rests on God as the designer of marriage.

 

In many ways, Paul was uniquely prepared to explain the spiritual meaning behind marriage because his focus was so deeply centered on Christ and the church. Notice that in Ephesians 5, Paul spends more time talking about Christ’s love than about romance itself.

 

Paul understood sacrifice, humility, covenant faithfulness, servant leadership, and self-giving love.

 

Even though he was unmarried, he lived out many of the very principles he taught like giving himself for others, suffering sacrificially, serving the church, putting others before himself, and remaining devoted to Christ.

 

Sometimes people who are outside a situation can see certain truths more clearly because they are not clouded by personal emotions or self-interest.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:25-30

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  

Why does Paul tell the wife to submit and the husband to love?

Thank you for such a spirited discussion on this very important question!

 

Paul addresses both wives and husbands in Ephesians 5.

For Wives: Paul calls wives to willingly submit because sin naturally pushes relationships toward resistance, rivalry, or power struggles. Submission becomes an act of humility and trust in God rather than self-assertion.

For Husbands: Paul calls husbands to sacrificial love because sinful men are naturally tempted toward selfish leadership, passivity, harshness, or domination.

So, Paul does something radical, he points husbands not to power, but to the cross.

Instead of “rule over her,” Paul says: “Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.”

Many couples spend the early years of marriage trying to change each other.

But a mature love begins asking: How can I serve you better?

And that is where relationships begin to reflect Christ.

Ephesians 5:31-33

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  

What does pursuing “oneness” look like after many years together?

Pursuing “oneness” after many years together often looks less dramatic and more deeply intentional.

Early in marriage, oneness is often built around excitement, attraction, building a home, raising children, and shared dreams. But after decades together, oneness becomes richer. It becomes two lives deeply intertwined through years of shared experience.

 

Susan and I are celebrating 43 years

of marriage.

I would like to celebrate it with a song that speaks 

to our lesson today.

Click Play to Listen to the Song

Next week – we’re going to the beach and Brent Egan will be teaching on Ephesians 6:1-9

Class Lesson for May 24, 2026

 Series: Fully Alive - A Study of Ephesians

Sermon Recap

Ephesians 5:1–21 calls us to imitate God by walking in love, living as children of light, and pursuing wisdom through the Spirit. God’s love is not permissive — it transforms us, calling us out of darkness and into a new way of living. As we are filled with the Spirit, our lives begin to reflect worship, gratitude, and humility, showing the world what it looks like to follow Jesus.

 

Ephesians 5:1-21

Walk in Love

[1] Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. [2] And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. [3] But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. [4] Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. [5] For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. [6] Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. [7] Therefore do not become partners with them; [8] for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light [9] (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), [10] and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. [11] Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. [12] For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. [13] But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, [14] for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” [15] Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, [16] making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. [17] Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is. [18] And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, [19] addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, [20] giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, [21] submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Ephesians 5:1-21.

 

Closing Thoughts

Ephesians 5 reminds us that our lives are meant to stand out, not through self-righteousness, but through love, holiness, and wisdom. As a group, this means we encourage one another to live differently, to resist cultural pressures, and to pursue what pleases the Lord. We shine light by how we speak, how we love, and how we live, helping others see the difference Christ makes. When we walk in the Spirit together, our lives become a testimony that points people to Jesus.

 

END

Teacher Notes:

As we closed out chapter 4 of Ephesians last week…

 

There’s one thing I have learned over the years - the more I surrender and trust God, the more I see Him show up and begin changing things I could never change on my own.

 

Sometimes we spend so much energy trying harder, when God is really asking us to trust Him deeper.

Last week Paul told us that God makes us new from the inside out.

 

This week, he begins to show us what that new life looks like when we walk it out every day in a dark and broken world.

The evidence of genuine faith is not simply

what we say — it is the way we live.

In the movie, Benjamin Franklin is especially interesting because he admires Whitefield deeply even though his own

faith journey is complicated.

 

Franklin seems to appreciate Christianity’s wisdom and societal value, but he wrestled personally with full surrender and transformation.

Is it possible to admire Jesus intellectually 

without truly allowing Him to

transform your life?

In Ephesians 5, Paul calls for more than

admiration of truth.

 

He is calling for us as believers to wake up spiritually and live lives transformed by Christ.

[1] Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. [2] And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. [3] But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. [4] Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. [5] For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. [6] Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. [7] Therefore do not become partners with them;

Paul says to be imitators of God, as beloved children – what does he mean?

He means that believers should reflect the character of their Heavenly Father in the way they live.

 

The phrase “as beloved children” is important because Paul is not talking about earning God’s love. He is saying because you already belong to God as His loved children, your life should begin to resemble Him.

 

Children naturally imitate the people they love and spend time around. They copy expressions, attitudes, habits, and behaviors.

 

Paul uses that same picture spiritually.

The more we walk closely with God, the more our lives should begin reflecting His love, His holiness, His forgiveness, His compassion, and His truth.

 

This does not mean believers become perfect or divine. It means our character increasingly reflects Christ instead of the world around us.

What does sacrificial love look like in everyday life for older adults?

Sacrificial love for older adults is often found less in dramatic moments and more in steady faithfulness.

It can look like:

• caring patiently for a spouse whose health is declining,
• making time to encourage younger people,
• praying faithfully for children and grandchildren,
• giving wisdom gently instead of critically,
• forgiving old wounds rather than holding bitterness,
• staying involved when it would be easier to withdraw,
• or serving quietly without needing recognition.

 

For many older adults, sacrificial love also means choosing presence over convenience. Sometimes loneliness, grief, disappointment, or physical limitations tempt people to turn inward. Yet love continues reaching outward even in difficult seasons.

 

One of the most powerful forms of sacrificial love is simply remaining faithful over time.

 

In a culture that often celebrates excitement and visibility, there is something Christlike about a person who keeps loving steadily:

• still worshiping,
• still encouraging,
• still giving,
• still believing,
• still showing up.

 

Ephesians 5 points us to Jesus, who “gave Himself for us.” Most believers are not asked to die for someone physically, but we are continually asked to lay down smaller pieces of ourselves:

• our comfort,
• our pride,
• our time,
• our preferences,
• and sometimes our right to be offended.

 

Older believers often underestimate how meaningful their love can be. A phone call, a handwritten note, a listening ear, or a quiet prayer can become life-giving to someone struggling. 

One of the clearest signs that we are walking closely with Christ is that our love becomes less self-centered and more sacrificial.

[8] for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light [9] (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), [10] and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. [11] Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. [12] For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. [13] But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, [14] for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

What are some forms of spiritual darkness people struggle with today?

Spiritual darkness often begins when people drift away from God’s truth and start living disconnected from His light. Sometimes it appears openly, but many times it grows quietly beneath the surface.

 

Some common forms of spiritual darkness people struggle with today include:

• hopelessness and despair,
• bitterness and unforgiveness,
• pride and self-sufficiency,
• secret sin hidden behind appearances,
• addiction and unhealthy dependencies,
• greed and materialism,
• constant anxiety without turning to God,
• sexual temptation and moral compromise,
• isolation from Christian community,
• and confusion about truth itself.

 

One growing form of darkness today is spiritual numbness. Many people are not openly hostile toward God — they are simply distracted, exhausted, and spiritually disengaged. Entertainment, busyness, and constant noise can slowly crowd out prayer, worship, and time with God until a person becomes spiritually dull without even realizing it.

 

Another major struggle is the confusion between truth and personal preference. Culture increasingly teaches: What feels right for you is right for you. But spiritual darkness often thrives when feelings become a greater authority than God’s Word.

 

Ephesians 5 reminds believers that darkness is not merely “out there” in the world; it can creep into our attitudes, priorities, and habits if we stop walking closely with Christ.

 

For older adults, this can create rich discussion because many have watched cultural shifts happen over decades. They’ve seen how certain attitudes once recognized as harmful are now normalized or celebrated.

 

At the same time, this discussion should remain compassionate, because every believer still fights areas where light is needed. The goal is not superiority, but honesty and transformation.

 

How can older Christians shine as examples to younger believers?

Older Christians shine most brightly when they demonstrate a faith that has endured real life.

 

Younger believers do not need older adults to pretend they have never struggled. They need examples of people who kept walking with God through hardship, disappointment, loss, unanswered prayers, and changing seasons.

 

One of the greatest gifts older Christians can offer is consistency.

A steady life says:

• God has been faithful through the years.
• Following Christ is worth it.
• Faith can survive suffering.

 

Older believers shine when they:

• worship sincerely instead of becoming cynical,
• speak with wisdom instead of constant criticism,
• show patience and gentleness,
• remain teachable,
• encourage younger generations rather than dismissing them,
• and model forgiveness, humility, and perseverance.

 

Sometimes younger Christians learn more from observing attitudes than from hearing lessons. They notice:

• how older believers treat their spouses,
• how they respond to illness,
• whether they complain constantly,
• how they handle grief,
• and whether joy and gratitude remain in their lives.

 

There is something deeply powerful about a person who has walked with Christ for decades and still speaks of Him with warmth and trust.

 

What does it mean to “wake up” spiritually?

To “wake up” spiritually means becoming alert again to God’s presence, truth, and purpose instead of drifting through life spiritually numb or distracted.

 

In Ephesians 5:14, Paul says: “Wake up, sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

 

He is speaking to people who may be physically alive and even religiously active, yet spiritually dull. A person can attend church regularly and still slowly fall asleep spiritually through routine, compromise, distraction, or complacency.

 

Spiritual sleep often happens gradually. It can look like:

• prayer becoming mechanical,
• worship losing wonder,
• sin becoming easier to excuse,
• conviction becoming weaker,
• or a person becoming more passionate about worldly things than about God.

 

When someone is spiritually asleep, they may stop paying attention to the condition of their heart. They go through motions without real closeness to Christ.

 

To wake up spiritually means:

• recognizing areas where we have drifted,
• allowing God’s light to expose what needs changing,
• renewing our hunger for God,
• and becoming responsive again to the Holy Spirit.

 

For some people, God uses hardship to wake them up. For others, it may come through Scripture, conviction, worship, or seeing the emptiness of worldly pursuits.

 

Older adults often relate strongly to this idea because life can sometimes settle into routine. There is a temptation to coast spiritually rather than continue growing. But spiritual maturity is not measured merely by age or years in church. A person can know Christ for decades and still need moments of awakening and renewal.

 

The encouraging part of Paul’s words is that awakening is possible. God does not call people to wake up without offering His light and presence to restore them.

 

 

A spiritually awakened life no longer hides in darkness — it reflects the light of Christ. 

[15] Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, [16] making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. [17] Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is. [18] And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, [19] addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, [20] giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, [21] submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

What does it mean practically to “make the most of your time”?

Practically, “making the most of time” means living intentionally instead of drifting through life carelessly.

 

In Ephesians 5:16, Paul says believers are to “redeem the time” because the days are evil. The picture is of recognizing that time is valuable, limited, and spiritually significant.

 

It does not mean we must stay busy every moment. It means we begin asking:

• What truly matters?
• What will have eternal value?
• Am I investing my life or merely spending it?

 

Making the most of time can look very ordinary:

• prioritizing relationships over distractions,
• spending time with God consistently,
• encouraging people while we still have opportunity,
• serving others instead of living only for comfort,
• resolving conflicts instead of prolonging bitterness,
• and using our gifts, wisdom, and influence for God’s purposes.

 

For older adults, this verse often becomes especially meaningful because life feels faster with age. Many people reach a point where they realize how much time was spent worrying, chasing temporary things, or postponing what mattered most.

 

But Paul’s words are not meant to produce regret; they are meant to produce purpose.

 

Even in later seasons of life, there are still opportunities:

• prayers that strengthen others,
• wisdom that guides younger believers,
• kindness that encourages weary hearts,
• conversations that point people toward Christ.

 

A person redeeming the time understands that seemingly small moments matter spiritually.

 

Sometimes making the most of time also means letting go of things that waste emotional and spiritual energy:

• endless resentment,
• constant negativity,
• meaningless distractions,
• or pursuits that leave no eternal fruit.

 

Jesus lived with remarkable intentionality. He was never frantic, but He was purposeful. He made time for prayer, people, teaching, rest, and obedience to the Father.

 

 

How can a believer tell whether they are being led by the Spirit or by their flesh?

One of the clearest ways a believer can tell whether they are being led by the Spirit or by the flesh is by looking at the direction and fruit of their life.

 

The flesh naturally pulls us toward: selfishness, pride, impatience, anger, lust, bitterness, envy, and self-centered desires.

 

The Holy Spirit, however, leads us toward: love, humility, conviction, obedience, peace, self-control, compassion, and a deeper desire to honor Christ.

Galatians 5 describes this contrast clearly through the “works of the flesh” and the “fruit of the Spirit.” Over time, what consistently grows in our lives reveals what is influencing us most.

 

Another important sign is this:

The flesh resists correction, while the Spirit responds to conviction.

 

When the Holy Spirit is leading someone, there is usually a growing sensitivity to sin. A believer may still struggle, but they cannot remain comfortable in disobedience. The Spirit gently convicts, redirects, and draws the heart back toward God.

 

The flesh, on the other hand, tends to justify sin:

• It’s not that serious.
• Everyone else does it.
• I deserve this.
• This is just who I am.

 

The Spirit also produces surrender rather than control. 

The flesh constantly asks: What do I want?

The Spirit asks: What honors God?

 

For older adults, this often becomes easier to recognize over time because life experience reveals the consequences of flesh-driven decisions. Many believers can look back and clearly see seasons when pride, fear, anger, or selfish ambition were leading them instead of God.

 

At the same time, spiritual maturity also teaches humility. Mature believers know the flesh never completely disappears this side of heaven. Walking in the Spirit is a daily dependence on God, not a one-time achievement.

A Spirit-filled life gradually begins to reflect

the character of Jesus in

everyday moments.

Click Play to Listen

Remember this week that the longer we walk with Christ, the more our lives should begin reflecting Him to the world around us.

See you next week.