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Honor Your Neighbor
Question 1:
When have you learned something by watching someone else?
THE POINT
Love is seen in how we honor others.
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Julia Child will always be the consummate cooking personality. She was a pioneer TV chef who continues to inspire generations of everyday Americans to embrace the joy of cooking. It wasn’t just her skill with intricate recipes; it was the way she responded to her own mistakes that made her both educational and entertaining.
Perhaps what has made her popularity so enduring is how she made you feel like you could jump in and try the same thing. She taught you how to create complex, professional-looking dishes step-by-step. The best teachers are the ones who don’t just tell you what to do; they show you how to do it.
In the book of Romans, Paul did just that. For eleven chapters, he gave us the most complete theology of salvation in Scripture. Then in Romans 12, he showed us how to live out that salvation. The awe-inspiring mercy of God moves us to present ourselves as living sacrifices, a spiritual act of worship. In verses 9-21, we see that life of worship on display when we love and honor others. Today, we’re going to learn the recipe.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Romans 12:9-13
9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another. 11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. 13 Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.
In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul launched into a practical description of love, right after instructing the Corinthian Christians about spiritual gifts in chapter 12. He did the same thing in Romans 12: after instructing them regarding spiritual gifts (vv. 3-8), Paul outlined how they were to love one another. Considering that he does this in two different letters, we get an idea of how important this was to the apostle. It’s as though he wanted us to remember the “big picture” purpose of our spiritual gifts: using them to fulfill the greatest commandments of loving God and loving our neighbor (Matt 22:37-39).
Beginning with verse 9, it might sound like Paul was giving us a random list of commands, but each one tells us how to love our neighbors as ourselves. And each one is important. When Paul said “let love be without hypocrisy,” he was calling for us to have pure hearts. We are not to do what seems loving for the sake of appearances or with an ulterior motive like gaining something advantageous or avoiding something unpleasant.
This is different from acting with love even when we don’t feel loving. Verse 9 refers to our motives. Are we doing what is right for the right reasons or for our own advantage—what Philippians 2:3 called “selfish ambition”? With a pure heart, we can love what God loves and shun what is wrong. With pure hearts, we can love others, being devoted to their good.
Question 2:
Which of these commands do you find easier to obey and which are more challenging for you?
Verse 10 commands and commends something you won’t find anywhere else in the Bible: competition between brothers and sisters in Christ. But this competition isn’t for our own benefit or glory. Instead, we’re to find ways to honor one another. “Take the lead in honoring one another.”
In verse 13, Paul makes it clear that those relationships also mean we consider all we own as opportunities to serve one another, showing “hospitality.” Paul also commanded the Romans to “share with the saints in their needs,” even when it may be inconvenient. We honor others by serving them in love.
Sandwiched between the commands focused on how we treat others, Paul charged the Roman believers in verses 11-12: “Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.” Verses 11-12 need to be read in the context of how to love others. That makes a difference! This “loving your neighbor as yourself” business is not for the faint of heart! It requires a spirit laser-focused on the hope of God despite times of discouragement, patience with others when they mistreat us, and a refusal to give up on asking God to intervene in our circumstances. Loving one another requires us to show honor by giving of ourselves even at personal cost.
Romans 12:14-16
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
When we consider the spiritual ingredients for loving others as ourselves, humility is essential. To walk in humility is to have the mind of Christ. Christ-centered humility means enduring what’s unfair and responding with words of blessing to those who mistreat us. Most Christians in America have not had to experience persecution … yet. But we have every reason to prepare for it (2 Tim 3:12). Let’s consider how these commands apply to us even now. How do you respond when you receive less than what you think you deserve? What words flow out of your heart and fly out of your mouth? Verse 14 presents us with a choice of responses when we’re treated unfairly: we can bless, or we can curse.
We don’t often think of our words being either a blessing or a curse, probably because we have a rather narrow view of both. To bless, in this case, is to ask God to give another person what is good. Essentially, it’s to desire God’s blessing toward another. To curse is to desire God’s judgment on someone or to pronounce words of condemnation. Cursing can come in many forms. You’ll be sorry for this. You’ll never amount to anything. I want him to pay for this. However, when we bless others, we reflect the humility of Jesus. We trust God to act on our behalf.
Verse 15 tells us to make the joys and sorrows of others our own. It’s an unfortunate irony that we sometimes can mourn with others in their grief more easily than we can celebrate with others in their joy. To celebrate their joys calls for the humility of self-forgetfulness to see past our own desires, to resist comparing, and to love our neighbor so much that their “win” feels like ours.
Finally, Paul extended his command even further. We’re to love those whom the world might call insignificant or unworthy. We’re to show honor to those who have nothing to give us in return. When we consider others, honoring them with words of blessing, bearing their burdens, and delighting in their success, we will find ourselves living in harmony with one other. Of course, we never can do these things perfectly, as Christ did, but we can make every effort to be unhindered by the pride that keeps us from loving others.
Question 3:
How can humility promote harmony in the church?
Romans 12:17-21
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. 20 But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. 21 Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.
Paul continued with his commands regarding how we’re to love others by calling us to honor others through peaceful relationships. That means when we honor others, love humbly, and show hospitality, no room will remain for vengeance in any of our relationships! Paul emphasized this by quoting from a song Moses wrote shortly before his death. “Vengeance and retribution belong to me” (Deut. 32:35). In this song, Moses described the Lord’s commitment to His people; He would right every wrong done against them. Moses told Israel that God would exact revenge for His children. So often, we have trouble letting go of an offense because we think that means we’re ignoring it or even accepting the wrong. But that’s not what forgiveness means. Instead, it means we’re looking to the Lord to make it right on our behalf.
Question 4:
How is this passage counter-cultural to what we see in the world today?
We can’t choose how other people respond, but we can choose our own attitudes and actions. After we leave vengeance in the hands of the Lord, we are to bless those who wronged us by meeting their needs. Such attitudes and actions go against every natural impulse, but we are not expected to do this by ourselves. We need the Spirit of God to empower us.
Paul quoted from Proverbs 25:21-22 to assure us that when we love and express such kindness even to our enemies, it is as if “you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.” The irony in this statement is fascinating: We walk in love, deferring all vengeance to God, and showing honor to those who don’t deserve it. When we do, God uses that humility to vindicate us! We are to “conquer evil with good.” This is how we are set free from the unforgiveness that harms our relationships, our witness, and even our health.
Question 5:
What role can our group play in helping one another live at peace with everyone?
Engage
HONORING OTHERS
Using terms found in today’s passage, write ways you can honor your neighbors. Then write a prayer, asking God for the strength to honor others in these ways.
Love
Rejoice
Share
Bless
Live in harmony
My Prayer:
“Serve the ones who hate you; forgive the ones who hurt you. Take the lowest place, not the highest; seek to serve, not to be served.”
MAX LUCADO
LIVE IT OUT
Love is seen in how we honor others. Choose one of the following applications:
- Reflect. Start with your heart. Examine the motives for your actions—are you focused on your own good or the good of others? Ask God to empower you to love others with a pure heart that is devoted to the good of others.
- Honor a friend. List specific ways you can honor at least three friends or family members this week, then put those ways into action.
- Honor a foe. List ways you can honor someone who has insulted or injured you, and put at least one of those ways into action this week. This is hard, but you can do it!
We may not have a name as well-known as Paul the apostle, but we can all know and display the joy of loving and honoring. Let’s grow in the skill of loving others well by giving them honor.
