Class Lesson June 4, 2017

Forget “friends.” Look for deeper connections.

We were created for two relationships:

1. A relationship with God.

2. A relationship with everyone else.

Each of those relationships affects the other.

We don’t lack for “relationships,” using the loosest definition of that word. Just look at our social media profiles. Many of us have plenty of “friends” online, and maybe even acquaintances we see at work or in the community. But what we long for are real relationships, people with whom we feel a genuine bond. 

God desires that for us, too. He designed us to live in community – in genuine relationships that are far from superficial.

This study examines relationships from a variety of viewpoints: from the foundation of true relationships, to the fulfillment we receive from deep friendships, to our responsibility within relationships with those who don’t know Christ. As you engage this study together, you’ll discover that an-abiding relationship with Christ leads to healthy relationships with everyone else. 

Be prepared, though. You won’t just find out about the kinds of friends you need when you read these pages; you’ll also discover the kind of friend you need to be to others.

REAL RELATIONSHIPS - 6 LESSONS

1. LOVE LIKE CHRIST

How have you seen technology change the way we relate to one another? 

THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE 

Ever noticed how more and more people seem to be having conversations with their phones rather than talking with the people around them?

Psychologist Sherry Turkle observes the impact of texting, email, and social media on our ability to have honest conversations and deepening relationships. “In today’s workplace, young people who have grown up fearing conversation show up on the job wearing earphones,” she says. “We are together, but each of us are in our own bubble, furiously connected to keyboards and tiny touch screens.” 

Technology has given us a world of better things, but not necessarily a better world. We are a culture starved for relationships, but even the latest smart phone app doesn’t seem to help us truly connect in those relationships. 

We read in the Gospel of John that Jesus gave us the key to relationships that matter. He showed us how our relationship with God affects all other relationships. That one relationship is the key that makes all the difference. 

POINT

Base every relationship on the unconditional love of Christ. 

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? 

John 15:9-11 

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 

John 15 overflows with words we like to hear in context of our relationships: “love,” “remain,“ “joy,” and “friends.” But Jesus didn’t just apply these words to just any relationship: He used them in connection with the intimate relationship we can have with Him. 

Notice how Jesus began in verse 9: “As the Father has loved Me.” Jesus Christ, the Son of God, enjoys an incredible bond with the Father. Their relationship is defined by unity, oneness, and love.  

Therefore, what an amazing truth to hear that Jesus loves us just as the Father loves Him! 

You’ll never meet anyone who loves you like God loves you. God has lavished His love on us through Christ. This love is without condition, but not without cost. Indeed, it cost the very death of Jesus. Our response to this great love can only be awe and wonder-filled obedience. 

Verse 10 says, “If you keep my commands you will remain in my love.” Jesus wasn’t saying, “If you obey me, then I will continue to love you.” That false statement would make His love conditional, and conditional love is the epitome of religion devoid of God’s grace. 

Instead, the proper order is that our obedience flows out of love. Because God loves us, we respond to His love through obedience. In other words, we don’t keep Jesus’ commands to earn His love; we keep His commands in response to His love. 

Best of all, the result of our love and obedience is joy, both for Christ and for us. 

How does obeying God’s commands demonstrate our love for Him? 

John 15:12-13 

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 

The Father loves the Son, and the Son loves us – but it doesn’t stop there. We are to love one another, and we are to love in the same way Jesus loved us. 

Loving like Jesus isn’t just hard – it’s impossible. We can’t do it on our own strength. But Jesus transforms us from the inside out. He places His Holy Spirit in us. And His Spirit guides us in truth and empowers us to live out that truth (see John 14:26; 16:7; 2 Peter 1:3-4). 

We saw the depth of Jesus’ love for us when He laid down His life on the cross, and verse 13 reminds us we are to express love for others in the same way. Throughout history, Christians have willingly laid down their lives for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ, because their love for Jesus led to a love for others. 

Today, we still see such love for one another among Christians. Lauren Sandler is an author and cultural observer. She’s not a Christian, but she spent a year living among and studying younger believers in America. She was amazed at their zeal and genuine love for God. 

Lauren Sandler observed two things young people need today: 

1. Certainty – that is, a truth to believe in. 

2. A love Christians call agape. Again, this is the kind of love God has shown to us. 

Even those who don’t know Christ recognize the need for truth and a love that goes beyond emotion. Both of those essential elements are found in an abiding relationship with Christ. 

What does it look like to love others the way Jesus loves us? 

RELATIONSHIP STATUS? 

“There is no love without hope, no hope without love, and neither hope nor love without faith.” 

- Augustine of Hippo 

John 15:14-17 

14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other. 

What emotions do you experience when you consider these verses? 

Here’s the progression we’ve covered so far: 

• We are loved by God.

• We respond to that love by remaining in Christ and obeying Him. 

• This abiding obedience brings intimacy with Jesus. 

• We are brought into a relationship in which Jesus calls us friends. 

Savor that thought for a moment: Jesus calls His followers friends! 

The next step in this progression is to bear fruit. When we live in a continual relationship with Jesus, we can’t help but bear fruit. That’s what He told us: “I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain.” A healthy branch is connected to its source of life – the tree that provides the nutrients, water, and all it needs to thrive. As a result, it produces healthy fruit. 

My wife and I recently planted a young grove of pecan trees. The trees should start bearing pecans in a few years, and in the next decade or so, they will produce more than we can manage. It wasn’t a minor process. First, the trees had to be healthy, then they had to be planted in the right soil and climate, and now they have to be protected from disease to flourish. We are doing everything we can to ensure that at the right time, these trees will produce healthy pecans. 

Similarly, when we remain in Jesus, he provides us all we need to live – and to live fruitfully. That’s more than just existing. I met a young server in a restaurant whose arm was tattooed with this statement: “I want to live, not just exist.” We all want our lives to matter, and that starts with a relationship with God through Jesus Christ (see John 10:10). 

When we walk with Jesus – remaining in Him, obeying Him, and loving as He loves – our lives will matter. We will bear fruit for Him. 

Another way this intimate relationship bears fruit is through our prayers: “I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, He will give you.” The result of an intimate relationship with God is confidence when we talk to Him in prayer. This isn’t a “name it and claim it” kind of presumption that we can ask absolutely anything we want and God will hand it over. Instead, this passage teaches that our abiding in Christ leads us to obedience-based prayers focused more on glorifying God than getting more stuff for ourselves. 

It all comes back to love. Our prayers are grounded in our love for God, and what we ask is motivated by our love for others. 

We all want real, authentic relationships with other people. But that starts with a relationship with Christ. Let His love fill you and flow out of you into a love for others. Then all your relationships will take on the quality and depth you desire. Consequently, you will bear fruit in each of those relationships – fruit that will remain in the lives of others and bring glory to God. 

How have you seen these verses practiced within the church? 

LIVE IT OUT 

How will you let the unconditional love of Christ impact you and your relationships this week? Consider the following suggestions: 

• Reflect. Take some time to think about your experiences with Christ. List at least three reasons why obeying Jesus brings joy. 

• Read. Read John 15:9-17 each day and note what it says about your relationship with God. Ask God to give you a fresh perspective each day and to help you stay focused on Him. 

• Share. Find ways this week you can bring joy to others – in workplace, family, school, or neighborhood. Bringing joy to others is a way to show Christ’s love, and it can pave the way for opportunities to proclaim the gospel. 

Changes in technology won’t change our relationships – not in any meaningful way. Instead, our relationships will be healthy when they are founded on our relationship with Christ.

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Teacher's Notes

1. Love Like Christ

How have you seen technology change the way we relate to one another?

• Ever noticed how more and more people seem to be having conversations with their phones rather than talking with the people around them?
• Technology has given us a world of better things, but not necessarily a better world. We are a culture starved for relationships, but even the latest smart phone app doesn’t seem to help us truly connect in those relationships.

How do the people you love (whether close friends, spouse, or family members) know that you love them?

• What you say to them, how you say it to them. If your actions then match your words.
• You make them feel important. You do what is best for them.
• Timing … say the right thing at the right time. 
• Do nice things for them without being asked or without expectation of kindness in return.
• Always be careful when your spouse asks “do I look OK in this outfit” !!!
• Considerate treatment, fairness, kindness, understanding.

Jesus spoke to the issue of how to love.

• He said we should base every relationship on the unconditional love He has for us
• We are going to hear words from Jesus in John 15 today like love, remain, joy, and friends that He uses to describe the relationship we can have with Him!

Base every relationship on the unconditional love of Christ.

I. Remain in the Love of Jesus John 15:9-11

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

What an amazing truth to hear and know, that Jesus loves us just as the Father loves Him!

• Jesus Christ, the Son of God, enjoys an incredible bond with the Father. Their relationship is defined by unity, oneness, and love. (Marriage)
• You’ll never meet anyone who loves you like God loves you. God has lavished His love on us through Christ. This love is without condition, but not without cost. Indeed, it cost the very death of Jesus. Our response to this great love can only be awe and wonder-filled obedience.

The writer of our lesson this morning said that years ago, he attended a conference on spiritual awakening led by Henry Blackaby - the author of Experiencing God. At the end of one of the sessions, he took questions from the audience. A college student went to one of the microphones and asked her question. She explained that she was a new believer, and she was grateful for what God had done for her through Christ. Then she asked this question, “How can I pay God back?” Blackaby said, “I didn’t doubt that her heart was in the right place, but I had to chuckle at her question. The thought of repaying God for His goodness to us is downright absurd. If we were capable of repaying Him, it would have been unnecessary for Jesus to die. On the other hand, I must also say that I appreciate the young lady’s perspective. Even though we can never repay God for what He has done, we can still show Him our gratitude.”

How can we do that? How can we show God our gratitude for what he has done?

• Jesus said to remain in His love, obey His commands, love others in the same way Jesus loves us, and to love others as God the Father loves Jesus, the Son.

What does it look like to remain in Jesus love?

• It’s not just a place I visit, it’s a place I dwell. It’s a place that I make my home there. I don’t have this relationship once a week – it’s a constant walk with Christ. We to remain or abide constantly in His presence. 
• We abide in His love by obeying Him. What does it mean to “abide” in Christ’s love? In verse four, Jesus told His disciples, “Abide in me.” That means having Him as your constant companion. Abiding in Christ’s love goes along with abiding in Christ. We live with a consciousness that He loves us and we love Him. Jesus desires that those who follow Him dwell continuously in a relationship of love with Him.

What is the link between love and obedience?

• Love is the Root, Obedience is the Fruit.
• The more we obey Him, the more we demonstrate that we love Him – and the more we love Him, the more we obey Him. Evidence of love is seen in our commitment to obey the commandments of the Father. 

How does obeying God’s commands demonstrate our love for Him? 

• I realize how much He loves me and want to respond to that
• I begin to see that His commands are good for me
• I come to understand that God loves me and gives directions how to live that benefit me and glorify Him
• Obedience also demonstrates trust, faith in Him – I can love God and obey Him because I trust His commands are the best way to live

How is obedience a source of joy?

• Love and obedience are the source of an eternal joy that only being in right relationship with Christ can produce.
• The result of our love and obedience is joy, both for Christ and for us.

What does this passage tell us about God’s design for our class, our church?

• God wants joy for us, even when times are tough we can know assurance of God’s love.
• The church, the Body of Christ will support one another with love.
• When we are walking in God’s love, it will be contagious, it will be passed along.

II. Love Others with the Love of Jesus John 15:12-13

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

The Father loves the Son, and the Son loves us – but it doesn’t stop there. We are to love one another, and we are to love in the same way Jesus loved us.

What does it look like to love others the way Jesus loves us? 

• Loving like Jesus isn’t just hard – it’s impossible. We can’t do it on our own strength. But Jesus transforms us from the inside out. He places His Holy Spirit in us. And His Spirit guides us in truth and empowers us to live out that truth (see John 14:26; 16:7; 2 Peter 1:3-4).
• The greatest demonstration of love is to sacrifice self on behalf of another. While Jesus emphasized that His disciples are to love like He loved, we can do so only in a limited sense. His love to the point of death is unique in its character as the as the Holy One of God and in its accomplishment as the Savior of the world. Nevertheless, He expects us to strive to love as He loved.

When do you struggle with loving others the way Jesus has loved you? 

• Not all others are lovable … they are mean (statistician’s joke: on average people are mean).
• Some people “hate your guts”, some people are unpleasant to be around (they stink, they dress weird, they use foul language, they are sloppy, crude).
• Some people might be unpleasant because they are snooty, talk down to/at you, think they are better than you.

What are you commanded to do? 

What does it look like to lay down our lives for one another? What opportunities do you have to “lay down your life” for others? 

• We might not end up dying for someone else, but we can give up things to help others. I might forego a purchase I wanted to make it possible that a child or grandchild was able to do something special. Give of your valuable time to help someone with a need they had. Dedicate a time in my schedule each day to join others in prayer for a special ministry of our church or our mission. Be willing to drive across town, out of my way to enable some kids to come to a special program. Donate skills to do help a family in need. Share the Gospel, give to send the Gospel around the world. Pray faithfully for children, grandchildren.

III. Love with a Love that Lasts John 15:14-17

14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

What emotions do you experience when you consider these verses?

• Here’s the progression we’ve covered so far: We are loved by God. We respond to that love by remaining in Christ and obeying Him. This abiding obedience brings intimacy with Jesus. We are brought into a relationship in which Jesus calls us friends. Savor that thought for a moment: Jesus calls His followers friends!

What does it mean to be a friend of Jesus?

• We have the privilege of being friends with Jesus, a relationship in which we serve Him out of mutual love. We trust Him, submit to Him, serve Him, and follow Him.
• Our relationship with Jesus opens the door for us to approach the Father with e will provide for our needs.

What is the fruit Jesus wants us to bear?

• The next step in this progression is to bear fruit. When we live in a continual relationship with Jesus, we can’t help but bear fruit. That’s what He told us: “I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain.” A healthy branch is connected to its source of life – the tree that provides the nutrients, water, and all it needs to thrive. As a result, it produces healthy fruit.
• When we walk with Jesus – remaining in Him, obeying Him, and loving as he loves – our lives will matter. We will bear fruit for Him.

Lesson’s important truth: an-abiding relationship with Christ leads to healthy relationships with everyone else. 

Conclusion: There is nothing more important to God our Father than our relationship, a real relationship with Him and with everyone else! We all want real, authentic relationships with other people. But that starts with a relationship with Christ. Let His love fill you and flow out of you into a love for others. Then all your relationships will take on the quality and depth you desire. Consequently, you will bear fruit in each of those relationships – fruit that will remain in the lives of others and bring glory to God.

Hope to see you on Sunday!


In His Love,

David & Susan

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