Class Lesson October 27, 2013

Hey Gang,




We continue this week in our series entitled "When Relationships Collide." We've been talking about how we as Christians should act in the midst of conflicts. Why, because we all face them. Some are quick and over in a moment. Others can last a lifetime. Because conflict in one form or another is inevitable in our relationships, we need to deal with it in an appropriate, biblical, Christ-honoring way.



Here are our 6 lessons in this series:

1. Even Christians Collide (Mary & Martha) Luke 10:38-42
2. It’s Not About Me (David & Saul) 1 Samuel 24:1-15
3. Stand Down (Abraham & Lot) Genesis 13:1-18
4. Stand Your Ground (Paul & Peter) Galatians 2:1-14
5. Step In (Abigail – David & Nabal) 1 Samuel 25:14-17, 23-28, 32-35
6. The Big Picture (Joseph & His Brothers) Genesis 37:5-8, 26-28; 50:15-21

The Bible Meets Life

It’s only natural that we seek what is best for us or hold out for what we want. When conflict enters a relationship, most of us want to preserve the relationship, but we still tend to look after our own interests. After all, “If I don’t look after my own interests, who will?” Compromise can often be an option, but sometimes the best option is simply to put aside our own interests and let the other person “win.” As a result, we can receive the greater benefit of preserving and even strengthening the relationship.

 

The Bible Meets Life

Our lesson spoke about a pastor, Ron Edmondson, who lost a battle over paint. I gave up. I didn’t “win.” It wasn’t really a battle, but it was tense for a time. And it did involve pain. In my new church, I encouraged some cosmetic changes to clean up the church in preparation for new visitors we hoped to attract. One day the phone rang. It was someone in the church letting me know about tension simmering over paint colors in a particular room people were painting. The problem was that this particular room had history. No one disagreed that the room needed painting. But the color I chose, in the opinion of one group of people, took away from the history and purpose of the room. In discussing this with someone I trusted, it became apparent that if we stuck with this color, good things we were doing in the church would be usurped. I have learned that there are battle to fight and battles to let go of. I saw this as one to let go. It protected my relationship with the concerned group and healthy growth of the church continued.

What did Ron Edmondson lose in this resolution? What did he gain?



Standing down is not the only strategy for solving conflict, but it’s often the better approach. Our lesson this morning shows us why.

The Setting

The time in Egypt had been profitable for Abram. His nephew, Lot had remained with him but between Abram and Lot, there was not enough land for all their livestock. This led to quarrels among their herdsmen. Abram gave Lot his choice of land. Lot chose the land to the east – the land looked better – and Abram occupied the land of Canaan. The land Lot chose eventually returned to Abram and his descendants. 

 

I. THE THREAT – HAVING IT MY WAY – GENESIS 13:1-7

13 Then Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev—he, his wife, and all he had, and Lot with him. 2 Abram was very rich in livestock, silver, and gold. 3 He went by stages from the Negev to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had formerly been, 4 to the site where he had built the altar. And Abram called on the name of Yahweh there. 5 Now Lot, who was traveling with Abram, also had flocks, herds, and tents. 6 But the land was unable to support them as long as they stayed together, for they had so many possessions that they could not stay together, 7 and there was quarreling between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites were living in the land.



Often, sin and selfishness are the causes of conflict. Other times it’s the events of everyday life that lead to conflict. Even God’s blessings can lead to conflict. The situation between Abram and Lot was an everyday life conflict.



What is the significance of verses 3-4 here to the up and coming conflict between Abram and Lot? When has a time of worship changed your perspective or course of action?

• Worship brings us to a realization of who God is. It also helps us to see who we are. Among other things, worship should make us teachable and receptive to God’s direction.
• Life is a journey, a journey of wandering in response to life circumstances or a journey of faith in the Lord.
• People of the Lord do well to remember those markers in life that represent places of encounter with Him.
• Misguided, misdirected, or misplaced values, goals, and desires can lead to quarrels that threaten relationships.

Now we’ll look at how Abram solved the land conflict.



Abram outranked Lot as the leader of the family. Instead of pulling rank or demanding his way, Abram chose to stand down. Someone read Genesis 13:8-13 


 

II. THE SOLUTION – AGREEING TO YOUR WAY – GENESIS 13:8-13

8 Then Abram said to Lot, “Please, let’s not have quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, since we are relatives. 9 Isn’t the whole land before you? Separate from me: if you go to the left, I will go to the right; if you go to the right, I will go to the left.” 10 Lot looked out and saw that the entire Jordan Valley as far as Zoar was well watered everywhere like the Lord’s garden and the land of Egypt. This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. 11 So Lot chose the entire Jordan Valley for himself. Then Lot journeyed eastward, and they separated from each other. 12 Abram lived in the land of Canaan, but Lot lived in the cities of the valley and set up his tent near Sodom. 13 Now the men of Sodom were evil, sinning greatly against the Lord. 




What keeps us from approaching conflict the way Abram did?

• The best option may be to put aside our interests and let the other person win. It’s natural to hold out for what we want. When conflict occurs, even when trying to preserve relationships, we tend to think, if I don’t look out for myself, who will? Compromise can be an option. But when we consider the interest of others we can receive the greater benefit of strengthening relationships.
• The time may come to part in Christian love. Sometimes when two Christians can’t agree – and they have honorably discussed these differences – God may lead them to move apart. That reflects the action Abram took. We see a similar approach between Paul and Barnabas when they couldn’t come to an agreement (Acts 15:36-41). Biblical truth should never be compromised in this process.

Abram’s words are a picture of what faith should produce in a believer. Humility arises in the heart of a Christ follower and asks:

• What’s God’s way of solving this?
• What’s most important here?
• What’s the greater answer to this conflict?

Choose one of these situations and identify your choice.

How could your willingness to take the short end of the stick impact your relationship?




Abram ultimately gained far more than he sacrificed. Abram’s intentionality is an example of Jesus, who seemed to give up everything. Jesus allowed Himself to be arrested and did not defend Himself. His seemingly defenseless position, however, achieved the salvation of all who believe in Him.



Points:

1. The spiritually mature person knows that healthy relationships are more important than material possessions or personal success.
2. Some conflicts are best resolved by putting another person’s interest above our own.
3. Choosing only what one determines to be right in his own eyes is not always the best choice.
4. Our life choices can move us toward either the wickedness of sin or the righteousness of the Lord.

In the next verses we’ll see how God continued to bless Abram. 

III. THE BLESSING – TRUSTING GOD’S WAY – GENESIS 13:14-18
14 After Lot had separated from him, the Lord said to Abram, “Look from the place where you are. Look north and south, east and west, 15 for I will give you and your offspring forever all the land that you see. 16 I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust of the earth, then your offspring could be counted. 17 Get up and walk around the land, through its length and width, for I will give it to you.” 18 So Abram moved his tent and went to live near the oaks of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the Lord. 



Abram humbly offered Lot the very best of the land. Abram trusted God to care for him regardless of his current land situation. It’s also significant that Abram didn’t just give up and let Lot choose the land just to end a conflict. Abram actively and purposefully trusted God in the midst of it all; he clearly kept the bigger picture in mind.



What choices to stand down have you made that had unexpected results?

• The Lord is faithful to His promises.
• Sometimes the Lord needs to remind us of His promises.
• In all situations and places, the Lord is worthy of worship.

Conflict happens. So what’s our plan for handling conflict in a way that honors God?

1. Focus on the end result. Evaluate what really matters in the long run and work toward it.
2. Humble yourself. Listen to the other person and speak with humility.
3. Heal a relationship. Seek out someone who’s been a casualty of a conflict with you and reconcile with that person.

Live It Out

Conflict in a relationship is inevitable, but the more critical issue is how we respond to conflict. To allow a conflict to fester threatens a relationship. Abram models for us the strength and benefits of meekness as an approach to conflict resolution. Abram could do so because his life was centered in faith in the promise of the Lord.



What conflict with another person are you currently facing? What is the source of the disagreement? How could the problem be solved by your willingness to submit your interests to those of the other person? Would doing so in any way compromise your relationship to the Lord? If not, then what prevents you from taking that course of action to find a solution?




Instead of always yelling “Mine!” notice when standing down might be a better choice. Consider what saying “Yours” could gain for you.

• One of the greatest struggles in marriage is decision making. Visions of democracy often dance in the minds of young couples, but when there are only two parties, democracy often results in deadlock. How can a couple make a decision? The answer is found in one word – submission. 

Prayer of Commitment

Lord of peace, I ask Your grace that I may be willing to act in such a way that makes for peace with my brother and affirms that I trust You in all things. Amen.

Hope everyone has a great week and we'll see you next Sunday as Paul Mahrle will be teaching this Sunday.

In His Love,

David & Susan