Last week we answered the question: Who is Your Neighbor?
We concluded that our neighbor is anyone of any race, creed, or social background who is in need. And through the parable of the Good Samaritan, we learned that a lack of love is easy to justify, even though it is never right. Love means acting to meet the person's need.
This week we take a deeper look into what that love really looks like.
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What Does Love Look Like?
Question 1:
When have you been really impressed by a fake?
THE POINT
We are to love others as God loves us.
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Bank tellers have a rather thankless job. All that monotonous counting, handling germy dollar bills, and dealing all day with people who are likely in a hurry. But of all the skills they need to have, one is eminently important: the ability to identify a counterfeit dollar bill. Bank tellers must look at a bill and, in a matter of seconds, observe minute details that signal whether it’s real or a forgery.
To gain this skill, bank tellers don’t study forgeries; they study the real thing. By thoroughly knowing the details of the original, they can readily pick up on anything that doesn’t match.
If we are to be people who live in the love of God, we must know what His love truly is. And since God Himself is love, we must know His character. But counterfeits abound: people who may look and sound genuine, but they neither come from nor represent the God who is love. A genuine believer is one who has been transformed by the love of God and loves as He loves. God takes the real thing seriously—and so should we.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
1 If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
To fully grasp Paul’s teaching on the nature of love, look at the verse right before chapter 13 begins. Keep in mind, Paul was writing a letter that originally contained no chapters or verses. Inspired by God’s Spirit, he was connecting one point to the next. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul wrote about the spiritual gifts and ministries God gives us for the sake of building up the church. He explained how the Holy Spirit gives us diverse gifts and that we need each other just like a body needs all its limbs and organs. Just as we don’t have a physical body with multiple stomachs or noses, we don’t all have the same gifts in the body of Christ.
Then Paul directed the Corinthian Christians toward what he called “an even better way” (1 Cor. 12:31). Paul was about to point to something better than focusing on our spiritual gifts. It might seem like he was changing the subject, but instead, Paul was connecting his teaching on spiritual gifts with the need for love in all we do.
We often hear 1 Corinthians 13 quoted at weddings and see it framed in romantic artwork, especially verses 4-7. But verses 1-3 introduce this beloved passage with a sobering reality, one you won’t likely find cross-stitched onto a heart-shaped pillow. Paul said it’s possible to be theologically right, spiritually gifted, morally immovable, and impressively sacrificial, yet completely miss the point. Look at the actions and spiritual gifts he described.
Question 2:
Why is religious activity meaningless without love?
- Speaking in tongues. This was a supernatural spiritual gift God gave only to some. The gift was to be used in specific ways. But talking in another language is only empty noise without a spirit of love.
- Prophecy. The Christian with the gift of prophecy received a message from the Holy Spirit specifically for that church, often confronting them with sin and the urgency of repentance. Even this meant nothing if the one speaking lacked love.
- Knowledge and understanding the deep things of God. To have such understanding requires the guidance of the Spirit. Christians with this gift have deep understanding of God’s Word, drawing out insights for others in the church. They dedicate their minds to know Scripture. Yet, apart from love, their intellect is irrelevant.
- Faith. The one who has faith has a spiritual power from God that is greater than even the laws of nature. He is certain of God’s Word and His promises. He believes God for the impossible. Those with the gift of faith are bold in action and mighty in spirit. But they too, are nothing without love.
- Sacrifice. Paul’s last example is the person who gives away everything he owns, even giving up his life for the sake of Christ. Surely, we should look to such a person as our example in life and death. Yet, if even this person only acted in order to boast of his deeds and lacked a spirit of love, he is none the better for his sacrifice.
Love is essential to every other aspect of the Christian life. The only way your life and mine will truly matter is choosing the more excellent way, the way of God’s love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The description of love in these verses has nothing to do with emotion—our feelings. In fact, these characteristics describe choices we often make in spite of how we feel. Paul’s definition of love is about what we give to others as we see and interact with them, not what we expect to receive. It shifts the center of our focus from ourselves to others.
Consider patience. Our impatience often comes from anger at not getting what we want when we want it. We demand a result, but someone or something is in the way. When we’re focused on ourselves, it’s easy to dismiss the other person’s feelings or treat him or her like a threat to our goals.
Kindness is a predictor of marital longevity. A study found that spouses who respond positively to relational invitations to interact were far more likely to stay married. The study also found that kindness is like a muscle in that you can choose to exercise it when you don’t feel especially kind, a principle that applies to all our relationships.1
Walking in patience and kindness—two character traits included in the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23)—reflects a heart of humility. A humble heart doesn’t see people as inconveniences or competition; instead, a humble heart is faithful to forgive and not hold onto an offense.
Paul went even deeper. He defined love as a commitment to what is good and in the best interest of the other person. Seeing someone else get off track, go the wrong direction, or stumble into sin isn’t an occasion to boastfully compare or condemn. Love is faithful to believe the best about others and to stick with them no matter what the conflict, challenge, or struggle. This definition of love is a choice, one that is all about our character.
How can you and I live in love? The truth is we can’t—at least not on our own. To possess the love of God, we must first be possessed by the love of God.
Question 3:
How does this biblical description of love contrast with our culture’s description of love?
1 Corinthians 13:8-13
8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known. 13 Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love—but the greatest of these is love.
Paul circled back to where he began this teaching on love and brought up spiritual gifts again. The spiritual gifts we hold in high esteem will go away, but “love never ends.” Paul was referring to our future as members of the body of Christ.
The spiritual gifts are useful for the church because we are still living in the age between Christ’s resurrection and His return. But when Jesus comes back, we will be with Him and be like Him. “When the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end.” When Jesus, the perfect One, returns, He will inaugurate the restoration of God’s perfect creation. The word perfect carries the idea not only of flawless quality, but also of completion. Right now, we do not know and experience God fully, but we will then.
Question 4:
What are some childish things we spend time on that will one day be put away?
Even when everything else in this world fades away, love will remain. Love is the character of Christ, the holy and perfect one, and love will be a part of His perfect kingdom. This means that whatever we do in a spirit of Christlike love will endure.
We may be like children now, but one day we will be fully complete in Christ, and in that day, we will “put aside childish things.” If we know that the point and purpose of our lives is to love God and love others, our perspective changes. We live with this end in mind, and it gives us the wisdom to focus on what truly matters. Quite simply, we start to grow up.
The measure of our Christian maturity isn’t the breadth of our knowledge; it’s the depth of our love. The one who lives in God’s love exhibits the character of love and shows himself to be spiritually mature.
Question 5:
Where do you see our church putting love on display in our community?
Engage
WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?
Draw what you think love looks like. If you think words are necessary, create a word cloud with ideas you think represent Christian love. Then write a prayer asking for God’s help to love.
My Prayer:
___________________________
“Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike?”
JOHN WESLEY
LIVE IT OUT
We are to love others as God loves us. Choose one of the following applications:
- Meditate. You cannot give away what you have not received. Spend time meditating on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, focusing on the love God has given you in Christ, allowing those truths to sink deep into your soul.
- Demonstrate. Focus on ways you can give love to those who are in your life right now. Plan to demonstrate that love to one person this week by a loving act.
- Share. Share the message of God’s love with someone this week—by email, text, or in person.
Although counterfeiters have grown more sophisticated in making money that looks like the real thing, it’s still fake no matter how good it looks. Consequently, those who handle money must grow in their skills in discerning truth from error. In the same way, we must grow in our knowledge and application of love.
Teacher's Notes:
Introduction: The culture around us uses the term love very flippantly
today. We say we love our dogs, our cars, our jobs, and anything else that we
seem to enjoy immensely. But love that we are called to possess is something
far deeper than our desires and our delight.
In this session, we will see what love really looks
like when lived out in the life of the believer. This kind of love is no longer
an abstract term of emotion; it becomes an active term of
relationship.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not
have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of
prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all
faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I
give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but
do not have love, I gain nothing.
Why is Paul saying this to the church in
Corinth?
The church at Corinth was in controversy. One
disagreement was between those who highly valued the gift of tongues and those
who did not. Spiritual gifts were given to bring unity to the church, but they became
divisive as people boasted about the gifts they had. The greater gifts are
those that are more beneficial to the body of Christ. Your spiritual gifts are
not for your own self-advancement. They were given to you for serving God and
enhancing the spiritual growth of the body of believers.
1. Love
ought to undergird everything we do.
Paul is saying that Love is more important than
all the spiritual gifts exercised in the church body. Great faith, acts of
dedication or sacrifice, and miracle-working power produce very little without
love. Love makes our actions and gifts useful.
In the Christian faith, everything rises and
falls on love. The husband can only love his wife as Christ loved the church to
the extent that he loves Christ (Eph. 5:25-32). The wife can only submit to her
husband as unto Christ to the extent that she loves Christ (Eph. 5:22-24). The
Christian can only do good to those in need to the extent that he/she loves
Christ (Matt. 25:31-46). God is love, and we must prioritize Him and the love
that He wants to instill in us and express through us. Love for others is
tied to our love for God.
People can have different gifts, but love is
available to everyone.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not
envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is
not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in
unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things.
· What is love like: patient, kind, bear, believe, hope, and
endure all things, and we should rejoice in the truth.
· What is love not: we should not be envious, boastful, arrogant,
rude, self-seeking, irritable, unforgiving, record-keeping, and we shouldn’t
take any pleasure in unrighteousness.
Our society confuses love and lust. Unlike
lust, God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward
us. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural
inclinations. It is possible to practice this love only if God helps us set
aside our own desires and instincts, so that we can give love while expecting nothing
in return. Thus, the more we become like Christ, the more love we will show to
others.
The way Paul describes love constitutes the way
the Lord demands that we love our neighbors.
If love is action, which of the descriptors of
how to do love do you find the most challenging for you? Why?
Which of the descriptors of love do you find to
be most natural to you? Why?
2. Love
reflects the character of Christ.
What does love - look like? It looks like
Jesus. And that means love should look like us!
“Just as I have loved you, you are also to love
one another” (John 13:34).
Love is not gooey emotion; love is dynamic; it
is something we do. Loving as God loves is not something we try once or twice
then give up on and return to our former ways; it is constant. Love is
characterized by doing those things that honor and respect others more than
ourselves. In Christ we experience God’s love.
1 Corinthians 13:8-13
8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they
will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will
come to an end. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the
perfect comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke
like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a
man, I put aside childish things. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a
mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully,
as I am fully known. 13 Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love—but the
greatest of these is love.
(v.10) God gives us spiritual gifts for our
lives on earth to build up, serve, and strengthen fellow believers. The
spiritual gifts are for the church. In eternity, we will be made perfect and
complete and will be in the very presence of God. We will no longer need the
spiritual gifts, so they will come to an end.
(v.12) Paul offers us a glimpse into the future
to give us hope that one day we will be complete when we see God face to face. This
truth should strengthen our faith – we don’t have all the answers now, but one
day we will. Someday we will see Christ in person and be able to see with God’s
perspective.
(v.13) In Corinth, the society was morally
corrupt, love had become a mixed-up term with little meaning. Is it really any
different today? People are still confused about love. Love is the greatest of
all human qualities. Love involves unselfish service to others; to show it
gives evidence that you care. Faith is the foundation and content of God’s
message; hope is the attitude and focus; love is the action. When faith and
hope are in line, you are free to love completely because you understand how
God loves.
3. Love
does not diminish, fade, or go away.
The church at Corinth were glorying in their
spiritual gifts. They—like we do sometimes—were putting more emphasis on their
labor for God than their love for God. Paul told them—and reminds us—that
prophecy, tongues, and knowledge will end, but love will never end. Love has an
eternal quality that makes it trump any form of service that we can render in
the body of Christ. Jeremiah says that the Lord has loved us with an
everlasting love and has drawn us to Himself with lovingkindness (Jer. 31:3).
Paul reminds us that absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God
(Rom. 8:35-39). It is this kind of constant and unconditional love with which
the Lord wants to fill and form our hearts.
In the last portion of the chapter, Paul gets
at how love is the chief thing because it is what matures us into the likeness
of Christ. He essentially declares that loving the gifts of the Spirit more
than we love the Giver of the Spirit is a mark of spiritual immaturity. But as
we grow in love, we learn to put away childish thinking and actions. We learn
to love God the way He loves us and to love others the way God loves them.
Finally, Paul mentions these three chief graces
of the Christian faith: Faith, Hope, and Love. Faith is important because
without faith you can’t be saved nor satisfy God (Eph. 2:8; Hebrews 11:6). Hope
is important because hope in what we are going through is what sustains us to
get through what we are going through (1 Pet. 3-9). But love is the greatest of
these because it was love - that motivated God to send and sacrifice His Son
for our salvation (John 3:16). Additionally, in heaven, there will be no need
for faith and hope, but love will last throughout eternity.
Close with song: Many weddings have included a
reading of 1 Corinthians 13. This song speaks to a lot of what we discussed today about - Love...
Conclusion
Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn’t something that we find
It’s something that we do
