In his book Restoring the Village, Jawanza Kunjufu writes: "When I was a fourteen-year-old high school freshman, school was dismissed early for a teachers’ meeting. I conveniently neglected to tell my parents about the change and arranged to bring my girlfriend over to my house. We weren’t planning to study. As we were going up the steps, my neighbor, Mrs. Nolan, poked her head out of a window and said, “You’re home awfully early, Jerome.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, improvising a lame story about how we planned to review algebra problems. “Does your mother know you’re home this early,” Mrs. Nolan persisted, “and do you want me to call her?”
I gave up. “No, Ma’am. I’ll go inside and call her while Kathy sits on the porch.”
Mrs. Nolan saved our careers that day. If Kathy had gotten pregnant, she might not have become the doctor she is today. And my father had warned me that if I made a baby, the mutual fund he set up for me to go to college or start a business would have gone to the child. I’m glad Mrs. Nolan was at her window, looking out for me."
Have you ever been stopped cold in your tracks like Jerome was? Were you grateful later that you did not follow through with your planned sin? Or are you like many of us, living with the regret of sin only to wish that a Mrs. Nolan had come your way?
Accountability can sometimes protect us from ourselves.
Our lesson this week examines the pattern of sin by focusing on David’s
sin with Bathsheba. Many people hold Bathsheba at least somewhat responsible
because she was evidently within view of the palace roof. This might be reading more into the story
than we should. The ancient kings had far more power than our present-day
presidents do. Similarly, women had far less. Through the prophet Nathan, God
held David alone accountable for the sin. Too often believers find themselves
in a place they never intended to be because they fail to recognize the pattern
of sin. As we inch closer and closer, our defenses come down and our sin nature
rise to the surface. We give in to the flesh, to “me-centeredness.” Adultery is
a huge problem even among believers. It leaves individuals wounded and families
shattered.
The life of David began humbly but we see him rise to a position of power, prosperity and popularity until the awful sin with Bathsheba. That episode marks the turning point in King David’s life. Everything unraveled after that. His power was threatened; his prosperity diminished with the deaths of his sons; and his popularity waned with his judgment. We see that a man after God’s own heart can find himself in the pit of sin and yet receive forgiveness. But we also see that forgiveness does not cancel the consequences of sin. King David’s sin reminds us that any and all of us are vulnerable to the lusts of our own flesh. To believe otherwise is to have foolish pride!
CHAPTER 12
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The Trials of a King
Kings who stay
home from battle are seldom at rest. One evening David looked from the roof of his palace and saw a beautiful woman bathing. David’s eyes wandered and so did his
heart. He asked about her and discovered she was Bathsheba, the wife of a valiant soldier he knew, Uriah. He summoned the very lovely and very married woman to his palace and
then into his bed. When Bathsheba sent word she was pregnant, David concocted a
twisted conspiracy. He called Uriah,
Bathsheba’s husband, home from the battlefield to visit his wife, expecting a
night together would position Uriah as the father-to-be. The plan failed, so David
concocted a surefire Plan B. He sent Uriah back to the frontlines carrying his
own death warrant. David ordered General Joab to engineer a battlefield “accident”
and guarantee Uriah’s death. The plan worked. David married Bathsheba and went
back to the business of the kingdom.
But the Lord was displeased and sent the prophet Nathan to him. Guilty kings never fare well when prophets arrive for
a visit—it happened with Samuel and Saul, and now with David. Nathan told a
parable and pointed the finger of blame squarely in David’s face. He asserted,
“You are the man!” and the jig was up. Not even a master rationalizer like Saul
could’ve wormed his way out of this one. David’s sin had
been found out. When Nathan confronted him, David didn’t make excuses or
argue: He simply confessed, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
So, the man after God’s own heart had
become the man with blood on his hands; and what’s more, the wedding feast turned
quickly into mourning the death of their son. David repented of his sin, and God
forgave him. But after that, things would never, ever be the same.
This is what God wants us to do when we’ve done something wrong. And when we do, He promises to forgive us: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” God forgave David. Nonetheless, David’s actions would bring painful consequences that God wasn’t going to stop.
Psalms of Mercy Pages 163–166
After David talked to Nathan, he wrote Psalm 51 as a prayer asking God to forgive him. David didn’t just ask for forgiveness: he accepted it and rejoiced in it. In Psalm 32, David described the joy of being forgiven.
Our merciful and compassionate God sent Jesus Christ to pay for our sins so we might be thoroughly cleansed.
David reigned forty years and then departed to be with the God he loved. In Psalm 23, the shepherd who became king pictured himself as a sheep cared for by the Lord. David, the man after God’s own heart, went home to dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
The Slippery Slope of Sin: Affair-proofing Your Marriage
In this chapter, there
are four key theological concepts bundled together that are very Biblical, but
can be very confusing. There is perhaps no other place in Scripture where these
four realities are so intertwined within one story, and so it seems appropriate
that we laser in on these subjects, not just to illuminate the story of David,
but to see our own lives very clearly. We have in this story a window into some
pretty deep theology that often confuses and discourages people. And believe
me, the enemy would like nothing more than for us to miss these lessons, so
that we permanently despair over our sins, leave them unattended, and allow
them to create distance between ourselves and God, and between each other.
I’m convinced that this
story is the story of every single man and woman
in this room, and in this church. Each one
of us struggles with these four truths every day.
Four Key Theologies
1.
Sin
Whether your name is Adam
or Brad, Eve or Cheryl, it’s your biggest problem. God, through the prophet Nathan holds David
alone accountable for the sin. Men and
women find themselves in a place they never intended to be because they fail to
recognize the pattern of sin. By inching closer and closer, our defenses come
down and our sin nature rises to the surface.
David’s descent into sin (p. 131)
David’s temptation followed
a longstanding pattern.
a) He saw. Perhaps
he could not help but see her, but he could have stopped watching.
b) He desired. His lust overtook his sense and his morality. At this point he didn’t
even keep his interest a secret. He inquired about her to others and found out
she was married. Regardless of the fact that David was already married to
Michal, he wanted another woman. Disregarding her husband, he wanted THIS
woman. Disregarding the Law of God prohibiting adultery, which was punishable
by the death penalty, he still wanted her more than he wanted to honor
God.
c) He took. Knowing full well that she was married, he took her for himself. He
robbed the honorable Uriah of his wife (and later his life). He abused the
power of his position, a position given to him by God. The text reads as though
this was a one-night stand.
The Pattern of Sin
Eve had a similar descent
into sin in the Garden. Look at that episode on page 5 of The Story. Pay special attention to the verbs.
a)
She saw. Eve saw that the fruit of the forbidden tree was good and pleasing to the
eye.
b)
She desired. The
fruit was desirable for gaining wisdom, or so she thought.
c) She took. She took the fruit, she took the word of the serpent over the
word of God, and she took her husband
down with her.
It’s not the seeing…it’s not the wanting…it’s the ingestion of evil that’s
the problem.
James 1 says this: Then,
when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is
full-grown, brings forth death. James
1:15
That word translated “conceived” is actually more often
translated “to take—to seize for oneself.”
So perhaps another way to translate this verse would be, “When desire has been
grasped, it gives birth to sin.”
Think of this definition:
where does temptation end and sin begin?
Sin is an impulse indulged. Sin
is evil ingested.
If our new translation is
true, that says, “When desire has been grasped, it gives birth to sin,” then sin is when you could let go of the
thought, but you don’t. We decide to host and nourish impure thoughts.
See those two buttons on
your outline? Each of us has a choice:
you can hit the “delete” key or you can hit the “refresh” key. But all too
often, instead of releasing the thought or the image, we keep reloading it in
our minds.
Refresh Key
Delete Key
Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10: We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the
knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to
Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
There it is. Taking every
thought captive to the obedience of Christ means “delete”, not “reload.” A
thought held captive to Christ is a thought not entertained, not grasped, not
seized. It’s a thought released.
We will all be
tempted—even Jesus was tempted, which meant it had to be enticing—He had to
want it, otherwise it wouldn’t be tempting!
But sin is about the
grasping, the ingestion, the swallowing of that temptation. Remember, when
you’re tempted, it’s still not too late!
2.
Forgiveness
God stands willing to
forgive our sins. If we are believers, our sins have already all been forgiven
when we appropriated the blood of Jesus by faith. Our salvation is secure even
when our hands are “dirty.” It’s really, really important to understand the
nature of this forgiveness: it’s not conditional, it’s not dependent, and it’s
not based on how well you keep your nose clean from now on. So many people feel
like they need to keep on earning their salvation or they could somehow wake up
one day without it. But we need to understand this:
Forgiveness that’s conditional isn’t forgiveness at all, it’s just fair warning.
If I say “I’ll forgive
you IF you say you’re sorry…” or “I’ll forgive you if you pay me back with
interest…” that’s just fair warning.
Listen for the permanence
of true forgiveness in these Scriptures:
I assure you, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent
me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they
have already passed from death into life. John 5:24
So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us
because we belong to his dearly loved Son. He is so rich in kindness that he
purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. Ephesians 1:6-7
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For
the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the
power of sin that leads to death.
Romans 8:1-2
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No! He is
the one who has given us right standing with himself. Romans 8:33
For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet now
God in his gracious kindness declares us not guilty. He has done this through
Christ Jesus, who has freed us by taking away our sins. For God sent Jesus to
take the punishment for our sins and to satisfy God’s anger against us. We are
made right with God when we believe that Jesus shed his blood, sacrificing his
life for us…our acquittal is not based on our good deeds. It is based on our
faith. Romans 3:23-25,27b
God initiates the change in the sinner status in that He brings him from a position of
alienation to a state of forgiveness and right relationship with Himself. This reconciliation, or atonement, is offered
to all who believe.
Forgiveness of sins does
not cancel consequences. Eve, David, you, and I live with the natural
consequences and sometimes even the discipline and judgment of God for our
choices (more on this in a minute). But for now, we need to remember that when
you believe and trust in Christ alone for salvation, your forgiveness is
complete, backward and forward.
3.
Confession
First, let’s listen to
David’s confession in Psalm 32:3-5: When
I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day
long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength
evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to
you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess my
rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
To confess your sins to God is not to tell Him anything He doesn’t already
know. Until you confess your sins, however, they are the abyss between you.
When you confess them, they become the bridge. –Frederick Buechner
And now the Apostle John:
If we say that we have no sin, we are
deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, He
is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His
word is not in us. John 1:8-10
We need to see the context
of this verse.
Confession of our sin cleanses us.
John is not saying that we are required to confess every single sin before
God will forgive us. The forgiveness has already been taken care of. It’s
done—finished. The forgiveness always has been, and always will be there. With confession, we’re talking about a recognition that we are sinners and
always in need of cleansing and forgiveness. (Note John 1:8-10.)
Confession is agreeing
with God about your sin and acknowledging His perspective of it.
Lord, you are in the right; but our faces are covered with shame, just as
you see us now. This is true of us all, including the people of Judah and
Jerusalem and all Israel, scattered near and far, wherever you have driven us
because of our disloyalty to you. O Lord, we and our kings, princes, and
ancestors are covered with shame because we have sinned against you. But the
Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against
him. Daniel 9:7-9
If you lose your temper
and yell at your spouse, you’re no less married than you were yesterday. But
confession of your sin is the bridge back to a harmonious relationship, just as
confession to God of our sins brings us back to a walk and communion with Him
that would not be possible if we continued to hang on to our pride, remained
stubborn, and refused to acknowledge our weakness. It doesn’t change our
standing, but it does change the nature of our relationship, and our intimacy.
STOP: It’s one
thing to think something—it’s completely another to say something out loud.
There is great power in speaking something aloud. Knees: speak your confession
to God…
4.
Consequences
Sin always gives birth to
more sin.
What were the consequences
with Eve’s sin?
· Consequences with Eve: Immediately she and her
husband hid from God. Their relationship with God was fractured, their
relationship with one another was fractured and their new sin nature was passed
on to every human born since, Jesus is the only exception. Sin gives birth to
more sin.
What were the
consequences with David’s sin?
· Consequences with David: After Bathsheba became
pregnant, David tried to cover his sin by arranging an opportunity for Uriah to
think the baby was his own. When Uriah proved more noble than the king, David
arranged for his battlefield demise. Sin gives birth to more sin.
But it didn’t stop there.
David’s sin was forgiven, but its aftermath was calamitous:The baby conceived between he and Bathsheba died. His son Amnon conspired along with his uncle to rape his half-sister
Tamar. This same Absalom attempted to usurp the throne, and his rise to power
resulted in a rebellion. David instructed his troops to be gentle with his
proud son, perhaps because he connected the dots between Absalom’s behavior and
his own failures as a father. But the clash between David’s army and Absalom’s
rebels was brutal. When Absalom was found hanging from a tree limb, Joab seized
the moment and killed the conspirator. King David mourned in anguish when he
heard the news. Another son, Absalom, allowed his hatred and bitterness toward Amnon to
fester for two years until he had Amnon killed. This caused Absalom to go AWOL
for three years.
Up until David’s sin with
Bathsheba, everything was going well. But the house of David and all his family
suffered enormous consequences because of David’s lack of leadership as the
father and spiritual leader of his family. Is there a greater object lesson in
the Bible for us than the story of David, who was known as Israel’s greatest
king, but watched his family literally pick each other off one by one.
You can be a captain of
industry, but a failure as the spiritual leader of your home. You can win the Chairman’s
Inner Circle award every year as the top salesperson in your company, while
your family disintegrates around you. You can be a king after God’s own heart,
but watch as conspiracy, incest, and murder eat your family alive.
Consequences are what we live with in this world to remind us of the results of sin.
They are not the fallout
of a lack of forgiveness, but they are
an ongoing reminder of the gravity of sin and its ripple effects throughout our
lives. Consequences serve as a deterrent against future opportunities where
we will be tempted to see, then to desire, then to take.
And have you entirely forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you,
his children? He said, “My child, don’t ignore it when the Lord disciplines
you, and don’t be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines
those he loves, and he punishes those he accepts as his children.”As you endure
this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children.
Whoever heard of a child who was never disciplined? If God doesn’t discipline
you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are
not really his children after all. Hebrews 12:5-8
Today’s Equipping Point: Build hedges
around yourself.
If you would have to hide
it or lie about it, don’t do it!
1.
What are some hedges at
work?
Do nothing with someone
from the opposite sex unless it’s public.
Don’t ride in a car with
the opposite sex without a third party present.
Don’t make personal phone
calls to other employees of the opposite sex.
Don’t lunch with the same
people every day, unless it is as a group.
Keep emails strictly
business.
Be careful about
lingering eye contact.
If traveling, don’t get
adjoining hotel rooms. Ask for different
floors.
Meet in the lobby, not in
a room.
2.
What are some hedges at
home?
Eliminate TV
temptation—get rid of premium movie channels.
Do not drive the opposite
sex babysitter home alone.
Keep appropriate
boundaries with neighbors.
Be especially careful
with single parents who need helping hands.
3.
What are some hedges at
church?
Always serve together in
groups on ministry projects.
Never counsel the
opposite sex.
4.
What are some hedges for
hobbies?
Learn to share your
spouse’s hobby.
Give up a hobby that puts
you in a vulnerable position.
Never enjoy a hobby alone
with a person of the opposite sex.
We have many role models
in our story today:
Be like Uriah who had great
personal integrity
Be like Nathan, and have the
courage to speak truth to power, or to a friend
Be like David who, after he
sinned, refused to run and hide from pride or embarrassment, but faced the
music
Be like David, who refused to let his past weigh him down. After the son
conceived between he and Bathsheba died, he got up, cleaned up, worshipped, and
made love to his wife. After he confessed his sin to God, and stopped trying to
hide them, David proclaimed, “And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.”
The same is true of your
guilt and your past: confess it, and
rest assured your guilt is gone.
Questions to think about:1. Be honest: Where is the pattern of sin hardest to resist in your life?
2. What inescapable consequences do you still live with?
3. Starting today, what will you do to be more intentional about confession?
David’s life was filled with tragedy and triumph. Above all, it was filled with an abiding faith. His story of repentance, gratitude and trust is an example to us all.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, show us how to apply the lessons learned from David’s extraordinary life to our own lives. We thank You for the forgiveness You give when we genuinely repent of our sins. Help us always to put our full trust in You. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
See you on Sunday!
In His Love,
David & Susan
