Class Lesson October 13, 2013

Hey Gang,

We begin a new series this week entitled "When Relationships Collide." This series is all about thriving in the midst of conflicts. We all face conflict. Some conflict is quick and over in a moment. Other conflicts can last a lifetime. Just because two people disagree or have different ideas doesn’t necessarily mean the conflict is detrimental. What we typically think of as conflict (when it becomes a problem) arises out of our attitude or response to the situation. Because conflict in one form or another is inevitable in our relationships, we need to deal with it in appropriate, biblical, Christ-honoring ways.

Here are our lessons in this series:

1. Even Christians Collide (Mary & Martha) Luke 10:38-42 
2. It’s Not About Me (David & Saul) 1 Samuel 24:1-15 
3. Stand Down (Abraham & Lot) Genesis 13:1-18 
4. Stand Your Ground (Paul & Peter) Galatians 2:1-14 
5. Step In (Abigail – David & Nabal) 1 Samuel 25:14-17, 23-28, 32-35 
6. The Big Picture (Joseph & His Brothers) Genesis 37:5-8, 26-28; 50:15-21

What is the silliest argument you’ve ever been a part of?

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The Bible Meets Life

Some of the biggest fights I have witnessed have been over trivial things in a church:

• Paint color
• Carpet or tile
• Order of service
• Whether to buy toilet paper in bulk or as needed

In every situation, Christians were doing the arguing. Most of the time there are two legitimate sides to the discussion, but those involved feel that only their opinion is valid enough to defend.


If we step back, in each of the examples above, we can see they are trivial in light of the eternal issues the church faces. None of us wants to admit that we get upset about trivial things because they don’t seem trivial to us. But conflict can arise because of different priorities. The story of Mary and Martha is an example of this.


The question in today’s lesson is not “Who’s right and who’s wrong?” but “What should be our focus and priority at the moment?”

Here’s the Setting

As Jesus journeyed toward Jerusalem (Luke 9:51), He stopped at the home of Mary and Martha. While Jesus taught in their home, Martha focused on the duties of a hospitable host, but Mary focused on listening to Jesus teach. Both women were doing good things, but at the moment, only one was necessary: to listen to Jesus teach. Here a situation arose that allowed Jesus to teach a valuable lesson about priorities. 

The Point

Conflict can arise because of different priorities.

I. MARTHA AND MARY – LUKE 10:38-42

38 While they were traveling, He entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said. 40 But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” 41 The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”





Which sister do you most relate to and why?



What was spiritual about Martha’s actions?

• Martha welcomed Jesus into her home. Hospitality was an important part of a woman’s responsibility in the first-century culture. Her responsibilities would have included preparing the room and preparing the meal for her guests. Martha busily prepared for Jesus’ coming and all the things He would need while there, while her sister Mary … sat at the Lord’s feet. Martha prioritized the preparations for Jesus’ stay in their home. Jesus did not blame Martha for being concerned about household chores. He was only asking her to set priorities. It is possible for service to Christ to degenerate into mere busywork that is no longer full of devotion to God.

What was spiritual about Mary’s actions?

• Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, soaking in the teaching He provided. Mary prioritized the time with Jesus.

How can our responsibilities be a source of conflict?

• Martha was correct that someone had to attend to the details of Jesus’ stay, but would it have been better for both of them to miss His teaching? Martha was distracted, she was being dragged around by the many details of hospitality, pulled away from greater priorities.
• Busy work is not the same as prioritized work. Things that pull us away from our top priority, Jesus Christ, must be identified and corrected. Martha came to Jesus in front of everyone asking if He didn’t care that she was left to serve alone. Questioning Mary’s priorities was bad. Questioning Jesus’ heart was the worst result of her mistaken priorities. Martha’s priorities created conflict with both her sister and her Lord.
• If mistaken priorities can create conflict in our relationships with others and with Jesus, then clarifying His priorities in our lives should be the utmost importance. Martha’s direct anger was against Mary. However, Martha shifted her frustration to Jesus, demanding that He tell Mary to help. Not only had Martha prioritized tasks above her relationship with her sister, but she also prioritized tasks over her relationship with Jesus.
• Our best intentioned service can become a distraction if our attitudes are not right.
• Discipleship includes learning of and from Jesus.
• Mary and Martha both loved Jesus. On this occasion they were both serving Him. But Martha thought Mary’s style of serving was inferior to hers. She didn’t realize that in her desire to serve, she was actually neglecting her guest.
• Are you so busy doing things for Jesus that you’re not spending any time with Him? Don’t let your service become self-serving.

When was a time you had to choose between studying the Bible and work that needed to be done?

• Every day we make choices based on what takes precedence at the moment. In the work of making decisions, it isn’t always about right and wrong as much as it is about good and better.

What must you consider when you are deciding between good, better, and best?

• Conflict between believers can be settled when both parties come together in Jesus’ presence.
• What we learn of and from Jesus cannot be taken from us.

Live It Out

The comparison of good with better in this story does not represent choosing between having Christ and not having Christ. This is a story about the need for Christian discipleship, not an evangelistic appeal to be saved. It is a story about devotion to Christ and choosing how to express commitment to Jesus. A person, as Martha, can choose to do a right thing but in the wrong spirit at the wrong time. Moreover, a person may determine that the way he or she chooses to show devotion to the Lord is the only way, leading to a judgmental attitude and contentious spirit toward another believer. 

Prayer of Commitment

Dear Father, forgive me for creating conflict with another brother or sister by thinking that what I want is most important, even more important than sitting together at Jesus’ feet. Amen. 



A Big Thanks to Mark Krohl for opening our new series on When Relationships Collide.

In His Love,

David & Susan