Class Lesson May 19, 2013

Hey Gang,



We continue this week in our series on Extraordinary Relationships by recognizing the responsibility we have in establishing and maintaining relationships with close friends, coworkers, casual acquaintances, neighbors, and business partners. The kind of persons we are will either build-up or tear-down our relationships with others. Character traits like diligence, integrity, and purity will have great effect on the depth and longevity of our relationships. It's important for you to understand that these traits are not just a matter of personal effort, resolve, or determination. They result from spiritual transformation, which is God's work to conform us to the image of His Son.


Lessons in this series:

1. May 5 Getting My Most Important Relationship Right (Proverbs 3)
2. May 12 Building The Home I Need (Proverbs 31)
3. May 19 Becoming a Person Others Need (Proverbs 6) 
4. May 26 Giving Others What They Really Need (Proverbs 11, 27, & 28)

Good people do this. Bad people do that. So be sure to “do” the things that good people do. When we look at these character traits – diligence, integrity, purity – in today’s study, it’s easy to wrestle with the do’s and don’ts of behavior until we believe we have accomplished them through our own self-effort and determination. But even if we think we’re the ones doing it, as Christians God’s Spirit is the driving force behind any true goodness.


What we sometimes overlook as work ourselves into the person God wants us to be is that true spiritual transformation comes through allowing God to work in us and through us, molding us into the image of His Son. It’s a process of learning God’s voice and listening to Him.


This process is called “sanctification” and it involves our being made holy resulting in a changed life. We commit ourselves to holy living and God’s power enables us and equips us to accomplish it.

 
 

Life Goal

You can develop character that has a positive benefit on the people you care about. 

What are you working for?

"Tell me what I need to hear."

Dad, about how to become a person that will benefit others. A person that understands the value of work, integrity, and purity in my life.




I. WORK DILIGENTLY – PROVERBS 6:6-11

6 Go to the ant, you slacker! Observe its ways and become wise. 7 Without leader, administrator, or ruler, 8 it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food during harvest. 9 How long will you stay in bed, you slacker? When will you get up from your sleep? 10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest, 11 and your poverty will come like a robber, your need, like a bandit. 

Based on these verses, what lessons can we learn from the ant?

• The ant models self-discipline and industriousness in its work habits. It’s a diligent worker.
• The slacker or lazy person can avoid poverty by following the ant’s example and work habits.

What is the connection between work and faith? Genesis 2:15


Why is work a good thing?

• Too often work is seen as drudgery, something to avoid, or even something that distracts from good things of God. But work was created before the fall and given to us by our good God.

How is work an opportunity to honor or dishonor God?

• How do godly work habits bring good to God and to others?
• All of our work should be done as though we are working unto the Lord (Col. 3:23). Paul urges, “Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men.”

Not working hard enough can be negative, but working too hard can be negative as well – so, how do we find godly balance in our work?

• Does our work overwhelm time and energy, invade upon family time, or does it have too much or too little attention? If so, we need to follow God’s instructions for that situation.
• Are we using balance or holy talk as an excuse not to work? Stop being lazy. Go to the ant. Study the 4th commandment (Ex. 20:8-10). Work has a good and proper place.

What is a slacker? What two lessons can be learned by observing the ant? What is the danger of being lazy?

• A slacker is a lazy person. The Hebrew word means indolent, slothful, sluggish, or lazy. The slacker was urged to go to the ant for a life lesson. The lazy person is challenged to prepare for the future, lest he be found wanting. The lazy one is being warned that he is opening himself up to be overcome by poverty. No one admires a lazy person. The lazy person makes no positive contribution to others and to the community at large. In fact, the lazy person ends up being a burden to others who take care of him because he will not take care of himself. We should avoid laziness for it come to no good.
• The ant teaches the value of personal initiative based on character. Taking personal initiative and making preparations for difficult times are character traits of one who is wise in the things of the Lord. The ant acts without the need of a leader, administrator, or ruler to tell her what to do and when to do it. The person wise in the things of God should act similarly, taking the initiative to do what is expected because it is the right thing to do not because some authority figure directed it, organized it, or demanded it. A character of diligence drives Christians to work this way. The ant also teaches the value of preparation and provision. Even a creature as lowly as the ant seems to have the foresight to know that winter was coming and that she must get ready.

Paul urges, “Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men.” Col. 3:23


How does working for the Lord prevent you from being a slacker?

• Believers are to be the employees who put in a full day’s work, going over and above what’s expected, even when the boss isn’t watching. We should not complain, make excuses, watch the clock for quitting time, or play computer games on company time. Cheerful volunteers do quality work not for a paycheck but as a way to honor God.

What’s the difference between diligence and busyness?

• Constant work can indicate a lack of responsibility. It certainly doesn’t contribute to positive relationships.
• Practice diligence in your work; carry out those and other responsibilities as if you work for God.

 





II. DEMONSTRATE INTEGRITY – PROVERBS 6:16-19

16 The Lord hates six things; in fact, seven are detestable to Him: 17 arrogant eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet eager to run to evil, 19 a lying witness who gives false testimony, and one who stirs up trouble among brothers. 

What are the seven actions and traits that the Lord finds detestable? Why would God hate each of the seven actions? What is the opposite of each?

1. Arrogance – having a superior attitude that declares its way is better. Pride and conceit is offensive to the Lord because it challenges His authority and superiority. We should value humility and learning from each other.

2. Lying – a lying tongue betrays. One who refuses to tell the truth and deceives others by what he says. This person is the complete opposite of what God is, therefore, he repulses God. We should value truth.

3. Violence – someone who reveals little regard for human life or control over anger – murder. Treating people as irreplaceable.

4. A Heart that Plans Wickedness – a plotting heart makes rules situational, caring only about what works to its own advantage. It utilizes creative strengths to harm rather than benefit. We should plan goodness.

5. An Enthusiasm for Evil – a body lacking integrity stands on feet that enthusiastically carry it into sinful activities. Someone eager to do evil. No forethought or planning is needed. Taking actions that are harmful to others is such a natural part of who the wicked person is that he can’t wait to carry it out. We should run from evil and live honestly.

6. False Testimony – someone who promotes injustice and leads people away from the truth. Someone who perjures themselves in the courtroom. We should give true testimony.

7. Stirring Up Trouble – someone who soweth discord among brothers. We should stir up unity among brothers and solve troubles rather than create them.


What does integrity look like in words? What does integrity look like in action? C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters, “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one – the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.” Integrity is also often lost gradually. What guards against integrity slipping away? What shortcuts chip away at integrity?

• We can demonstrate integrity when we speak kind, honest, helpful words.
• We can demonstrate integrity when we give concrete help. Also when we don’t cut corners or look for ways to get away with wrong. We pursue honesty in the daily choices we make.
• We model integrity when we treat others with kindness, mercy, and grace.

Sin not only breaks our relationship with the Lord, it prevents meaningful relationships with others, whether at home, the workplace, the community, or the church. People with integrity will act as God desires them to act. Remain vigilant against traps that compromise integrity. Failing to practice integrity ultimately destroys relationships with the people who mean the most to you.

III. EXHIBIT PURITY – PROVERBS 6:23-27

23 For a command is a lamp, teaching is a light, and corrective discipline is the way to life. 24 They will protect you from an evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a stranger. 25 Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes. 26 For a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread, but an adulteress goes after a precious life. 27 Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned? 

These verses continue in the context of instructions from a father to a son. In this case the mother is also included as an instructor to the child.



Think about traffic signs and signals that help to get us where we’re going when we drive a car. How are God’s commandments like traffic signs and signals keeping us intellectually, emotionally, and interpersonally on wise paths?

• We can view traffic signs and signals as annoyances that hinder our freedom or as safeguards that protect and enrich our lives.
• God’s commands safeguard us from the messy result of lust and adultery. The writer compared the consequences of sexual impurity to being burned by fire. We fool ourselves if we think we can escape the harmful, hurtful consequences of lust and adultery.
• Broken hearts are as damaging as other consequences of sexual misbehavior. Verse 6:26 does not excuse prostitution; it illustrates the deeper costs of all sexual misbehavior.
• Purity does not refer only to actions; it’s a mental issue too. How do you guard your thoughts?

How is a command like a lamp and teaching like a light?

• The command is like an essential piece of equipment that guides one along a darken path.
• As a light illuminates, enlightens, and reveals, so the teachings of the commandment makes known what is true and right.

Parents need to be prepared and able to offer wise instruction to their children. Children need to heed the wise instructions of their parents. The pleasure of sin is costly and destructive. Purity is a spiritual matter and speaks to the depth of one’s relationship with the Lord.


Our character traits can either build up or tear down our relationships. What others need from us is a clear demonstration of what it means to live the holy life. The positive traits of the holy life are not the product of our own inner strength or ability or of our personal resolve and determination. Holy living results from spiritual transformation whereby the Lord conforms us to the image of His Son.



If you had to choose, which character trait is most difficult to live out: work, integrity, or purity? What habits keep us from having victory in living out these traits? What God-guided habits make it more natural to choose these three day after day?

1. Embrace the delight of developing godly character.
2. Surrender to God day after day.
3. Develop character qualities of industry, diligence, integrity, honesty, purity, recognizing goodness.
4. Stop being arrogant, stop lying, refuse to hurt innocents, plot no wickedness, run from evil, give true testimony and stir up togetherness.
5. Celebrate victory over any negative thoughts.
6. Develop extraordinary relationships that benefit everyone, even observers.
7. By obeying God’s commands, parents can help children stay on the path of purity.

Prayer of Commitment

Lord, help me to be the kind of person others would want to know, not for my sake but theirs; not for my glory but Yours. Amen. 


 

See you this Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan

Class Lesson May 12, 2013

Hey Gang,



We began a four-week study last week, by discovering what Proverbs teaches us about life’s most important relationship – our relationship with God. It's only when that relationship is established that we can build quality relationships with others. This week, we will look at a case study from Proverbs 31 that helps us focus on our relationships within the family.
 



1. May 5 Getting My Most Important Relationship Right (Proverbs 3)


2. May 12 Building The Home I Need (Proverbs 31)


3. May 19 Becoming a Person Others Need (Proverbs 6) 


4. May 26 Giving Others What They Really Need (Proverbs 11, 27, & 28)

Happy Mother's Day - Today we celebrate her wisdom, character, humor, patience, strength, compassion, diligence, beauty, unconditional love, and Godliness.

Fruit of the Spirit - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

Question: Why is "wisdom" personified in Proverbs as "she"?
  

People need help in making their homes what homes really need to be. Since God is the Author of relationships, He is uniquely qualified to guide home building. Many homes are falling apart. Others just need a little remodeling. Or some are starting out and need a solid foundation.


The goal of this lesson is for each of us to apply biblical, common-sense, principles to build our homes.


Proverbs 31:30 speaks of the person who “fears the Lord.” What does this really mean?

• In the Bible, a person who “fears God” shows devoted allegiance to Him and His instructions. The fear is of what would happen if we don’t honor Him, or is we ignore His advice.
• When we fear God, we approach Him with worshipful submission, reverent awe, and obedient respect. 
• Proverbs begins with fear of the Lord being the beginning of wisdom.

 

 

Order of Priorities in the Family

 

1. God
2. Husband & Wife (Marriage)
3. Children
4. Parents
5. Extended Family
6. Fellow Believers
7. The Rest of the World

I. BE TRUSTWORTHY – PROVERBS 31:10-12

10 Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good. 12 She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life. 

What is the key to trust in these verses? What builds trust in our families? What breaks down trust in our families? What can restore trust in family relationships when it has been broken?

• The husband trusts his capable wife. “Capable” refers to more than her ability; it describes the strength of her moral character.
• Trust grows when people consistently show love, selflessness, reliability, thoughtfulness.
• Trust provides foundation for problem solving, working together, parenting, and growing. It’s key!
• Trust must be rebuilt when broken. This takes time and repeated reliable action.

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:


1. She is committed to her family.

• v.11 - Her husband has full confidence in her v.28 - Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

II. BE RESPONSIBLE – PROVERBS 31:15-20

15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her female servants. 16 She evaluates a field and buys it; she plants a vineyard with her earnings. 17 She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong. 18 She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night. 19 She extends her hands to the spinning staff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy. 

How does the capable woman provide for her family?

• The capable woman showed she was smart, organized, and diligent in handling family matters. Being thrifty with finances allowed her to be generous with family, with employees, and with the needy. When we wisely use wisdom and gifts God has given us, we bless people who watch us.

Notice that the passage speaks of skills and habits carried out day-after-day over the long term. How do you do this? How could you help your young adult kids build similar habits?

• This is simple reality. We show that we love God in the ways that we carry out the details of life. It’s a not-to-be-missed adventure.
• Everything we do should be done to honor God (Col. 3:17). Daily details – like providing food, buying a field, planting a vineyard – must honor God.
• Younger family members observe our habits and attitudes. Are we showing the joy that comes in handling all our responsibilities in a way that pleases God?

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:



1. She is a competent woman.



v. 15, 18 - gets up while it is still dark; her lamp does not go out at night

v. 13 - works with eager hands

v. 15 - provides food for her family

v. 16 - considers a field and buys it

v. 18 - sees that her trading is profitable



This woman is resourceful. She makes wise use of her time and takes her responsibility seriously. God highly exalts this faithful and reliable woman.





III. BE GODLY – PROVERBS 31:25-31
25 Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: 29 “Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. 31 Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. 

Notice that the first evidence of a God-fearing nature is strength and honor. How can we build strong families if we have low opinions of self? How about of others?



Compare/contrast God’s standard of beauty and value with our culture’s standard? How is the woman described and what qualities define her incredible worth?

• 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Man does not see what the Lord sees, for man sees what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.”
• The standard of our culture seldom reflect God’s standards for judging a person, but what we miss by settling for cultural standards. Think about why we do this.
• In our culture, beauty is often judged by physical standards such as a comely appearance, stylish clothes, and expensive jewelry, along with accessories such as expensive cars or houses. These things are deceptive and fleeting.
• The Proverbs 31 woman is noted for her strength, honor, wisdom, loving instruction, and fear of God. Why are these of incredible value?
• Solomon was not saying there’s anything wrong with charm and beauty, but he was cautioning they are not what a home should be built upon.

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:



1. She is committed to the Lord.

• v. 30 - a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised Identity comes from what we're committed to. Too often in our society, a woman's identity is based on how she looks. The television constantly reinforces this idea. Proverbs addresses this in v. 30 - Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. The Proverbs 31 woman gets her identity - not from her looks, being a mother, a wife, or a woman, but as a person who serves, obeys and love the Lord.

Points:

1. As you live a life of trust in the Lord, your family members will more readily trust you.
2. Your love for the Lord finds expression in how you go about details of life as a generous steward of your abilities.
3. Look for ways to use your gifts and abilities to bless.
4. Look for ways to make your home a ministry center.
5. Live life based on godly standards.
6. Make a lifetime commitment to God; determine you will live a godly life.

How can we begin to be more like the Proverb woman?



By eliminating distractions – Television

• What if you turned off the TV? How much more time would you have? The main source of godless advice, thoughts and language in our home comes from the TV.

Depend on the Lord - Psalm 127:1

• Unless the Lord builds the house those who build it labor in vain. Our lives are a gift from God. So are the people that He has put in your sphere of influence. You influence more people than you realize.

Our children belong to God, not us. God is their true father. We are His managers. The goal of our parenting is to help our children obey God, not us.



Books, tapes, and classes are helpful but if the Lord is not at the center of your life, forget it!

Pray for your relationships, your family, and your role in God's plan. Pray more and criticize less and you'll see a big difference.



A word to those of you who aren't women -- Open your eyes to all your wives and mothers are and do. Let them know they are as priceless as rubies.



A godly woman should have the underlying character, but each woman’s schedule will look different than the next woman. She is something to aspire toward, but not something to be completely attained because she probably is not one woman. She gives the challenge to rise above the bar, and the hope that through God’s grace, a woman can live a life that brings glory to her Lord and blessing to her household.

Prayer of Commitment

Dear Lord, families are threatened on every turn by a world bent on evil. Give me strength to do my part to build my home into the kind of home where You are the priority and where I am an effective model to others of what it means to have You at the center of my home and my life. Amen.

It's Mother's Day weekend as we look to Proverbs 31 for direction on the extraordinary relationships we can have in the family.

See you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan