Class Lesson May 12, 2013

Hey Gang,



We began a four-week study last week, by discovering what Proverbs teaches us about life’s most important relationship – our relationship with God. It's only when that relationship is established that we can build quality relationships with others. This week, we will look at a case study from Proverbs 31 that helps us focus on our relationships within the family.
 



1. May 5 Getting My Most Important Relationship Right (Proverbs 3)


2. May 12 Building The Home I Need (Proverbs 31)


3. May 19 Becoming a Person Others Need (Proverbs 6) 


4. May 26 Giving Others What They Really Need (Proverbs 11, 27, & 28)

Happy Mother's Day - Today we celebrate her wisdom, character, humor, patience, strength, compassion, diligence, beauty, unconditional love, and Godliness.

Fruit of the Spirit - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

Question: Why is "wisdom" personified in Proverbs as "she"?
  

People need help in making their homes what homes really need to be. Since God is the Author of relationships, He is uniquely qualified to guide home building. Many homes are falling apart. Others just need a little remodeling. Or some are starting out and need a solid foundation.


The goal of this lesson is for each of us to apply biblical, common-sense, principles to build our homes.


Proverbs 31:30 speaks of the person who “fears the Lord.” What does this really mean?

• In the Bible, a person who “fears God” shows devoted allegiance to Him and His instructions. The fear is of what would happen if we don’t honor Him, or is we ignore His advice.
• When we fear God, we approach Him with worshipful submission, reverent awe, and obedient respect. 
• Proverbs begins with fear of the Lord being the beginning of wisdom.

 

 

Order of Priorities in the Family

 

1. God
2. Husband & Wife (Marriage)
3. Children
4. Parents
5. Extended Family
6. Fellow Believers
7. The Rest of the World

I. BE TRUSTWORTHY – PROVERBS 31:10-12

10 Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good. 12 She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life. 

What is the key to trust in these verses? What builds trust in our families? What breaks down trust in our families? What can restore trust in family relationships when it has been broken?

• The husband trusts his capable wife. “Capable” refers to more than her ability; it describes the strength of her moral character.
• Trust grows when people consistently show love, selflessness, reliability, thoughtfulness.
• Trust provides foundation for problem solving, working together, parenting, and growing. It’s key!
• Trust must be rebuilt when broken. This takes time and repeated reliable action.

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:


1. She is committed to her family.

• v.11 - Her husband has full confidence in her v.28 - Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

II. BE RESPONSIBLE – PROVERBS 31:15-20

15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her female servants. 16 She evaluates a field and buys it; she plants a vineyard with her earnings. 17 She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong. 18 She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night. 19 She extends her hands to the spinning staff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy. 

How does the capable woman provide for her family?

• The capable woman showed she was smart, organized, and diligent in handling family matters. Being thrifty with finances allowed her to be generous with family, with employees, and with the needy. When we wisely use wisdom and gifts God has given us, we bless people who watch us.

Notice that the passage speaks of skills and habits carried out day-after-day over the long term. How do you do this? How could you help your young adult kids build similar habits?

• This is simple reality. We show that we love God in the ways that we carry out the details of life. It’s a not-to-be-missed adventure.
• Everything we do should be done to honor God (Col. 3:17). Daily details – like providing food, buying a field, planting a vineyard – must honor God.
• Younger family members observe our habits and attitudes. Are we showing the joy that comes in handling all our responsibilities in a way that pleases God?

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:



1. She is a competent woman.



v. 15, 18 - gets up while it is still dark; her lamp does not go out at night

v. 13 - works with eager hands

v. 15 - provides food for her family

v. 16 - considers a field and buys it

v. 18 - sees that her trading is profitable



This woman is resourceful. She makes wise use of her time and takes her responsibility seriously. God highly exalts this faithful and reliable woman.





III. BE GODLY – PROVERBS 31:25-31
25 Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: 29 “Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. 31 Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. 

Notice that the first evidence of a God-fearing nature is strength and honor. How can we build strong families if we have low opinions of self? How about of others?



Compare/contrast God’s standard of beauty and value with our culture’s standard? How is the woman described and what qualities define her incredible worth?

• 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Man does not see what the Lord sees, for man sees what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.”
• The standard of our culture seldom reflect God’s standards for judging a person, but what we miss by settling for cultural standards. Think about why we do this.
• In our culture, beauty is often judged by physical standards such as a comely appearance, stylish clothes, and expensive jewelry, along with accessories such as expensive cars or houses. These things are deceptive and fleeting.
• The Proverbs 31 woman is noted for her strength, honor, wisdom, loving instruction, and fear of God. Why are these of incredible value?
• Solomon was not saying there’s anything wrong with charm and beauty, but he was cautioning they are not what a home should be built upon.

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:



1. She is committed to the Lord.

• v. 30 - a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised Identity comes from what we're committed to. Too often in our society, a woman's identity is based on how she looks. The television constantly reinforces this idea. Proverbs addresses this in v. 30 - Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. The Proverbs 31 woman gets her identity - not from her looks, being a mother, a wife, or a woman, but as a person who serves, obeys and love the Lord.

Points:

1. As you live a life of trust in the Lord, your family members will more readily trust you.
2. Your love for the Lord finds expression in how you go about details of life as a generous steward of your abilities.
3. Look for ways to use your gifts and abilities to bless.
4. Look for ways to make your home a ministry center.
5. Live life based on godly standards.
6. Make a lifetime commitment to God; determine you will live a godly life.

How can we begin to be more like the Proverb woman?



By eliminating distractions – Television

• What if you turned off the TV? How much more time would you have? The main source of godless advice, thoughts and language in our home comes from the TV.

Depend on the Lord - Psalm 127:1

• Unless the Lord builds the house those who build it labor in vain. Our lives are a gift from God. So are the people that He has put in your sphere of influence. You influence more people than you realize.

Our children belong to God, not us. God is their true father. We are His managers. The goal of our parenting is to help our children obey God, not us.



Books, tapes, and classes are helpful but if the Lord is not at the center of your life, forget it!

Pray for your relationships, your family, and your role in God's plan. Pray more and criticize less and you'll see a big difference.



A word to those of you who aren't women -- Open your eyes to all your wives and mothers are and do. Let them know they are as priceless as rubies.



A godly woman should have the underlying character, but each woman’s schedule will look different than the next woman. She is something to aspire toward, but not something to be completely attained because she probably is not one woman. She gives the challenge to rise above the bar, and the hope that through God’s grace, a woman can live a life that brings glory to her Lord and blessing to her household.

Prayer of Commitment

Dear Lord, families are threatened on every turn by a world bent on evil. Give me strength to do my part to build my home into the kind of home where You are the priority and where I am an effective model to others of what it means to have You at the center of my home and my life. Amen.

It's Mother's Day weekend as we look to Proverbs 31 for direction on the extraordinary relationships we can have in the family.

See you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan