Class Lesson May 12, 2013

Hey Gang,



We began a four-week study last week, by discovering what Proverbs teaches us about life’s most important relationship – our relationship with God. It's only when that relationship is established that we can build quality relationships with others. This week, we will look at a case study from Proverbs 31 that helps us focus on our relationships within the family.
 



1. May 5 Getting My Most Important Relationship Right (Proverbs 3)


2. May 12 Building The Home I Need (Proverbs 31)


3. May 19 Becoming a Person Others Need (Proverbs 6) 


4. May 26 Giving Others What They Really Need (Proverbs 11, 27, & 28)

Happy Mother's Day - Today we celebrate her wisdom, character, humor, patience, strength, compassion, diligence, beauty, unconditional love, and Godliness.

Fruit of the Spirit - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

Question: Why is "wisdom" personified in Proverbs as "she"?
  

People need help in making their homes what homes really need to be. Since God is the Author of relationships, He is uniquely qualified to guide home building. Many homes are falling apart. Others just need a little remodeling. Or some are starting out and need a solid foundation.


The goal of this lesson is for each of us to apply biblical, common-sense, principles to build our homes.


Proverbs 31:30 speaks of the person who “fears the Lord.” What does this really mean?

• In the Bible, a person who “fears God” shows devoted allegiance to Him and His instructions. The fear is of what would happen if we don’t honor Him, or is we ignore His advice.
• When we fear God, we approach Him with worshipful submission, reverent awe, and obedient respect. 
• Proverbs begins with fear of the Lord being the beginning of wisdom.

 

 

Order of Priorities in the Family

 

1. God
2. Husband & Wife (Marriage)
3. Children
4. Parents
5. Extended Family
6. Fellow Believers
7. The Rest of the World

I. BE TRUSTWORTHY – PROVERBS 31:10-12

10 Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good. 12 She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life. 

What is the key to trust in these verses? What builds trust in our families? What breaks down trust in our families? What can restore trust in family relationships when it has been broken?

• The husband trusts his capable wife. “Capable” refers to more than her ability; it describes the strength of her moral character.
• Trust grows when people consistently show love, selflessness, reliability, thoughtfulness.
• Trust provides foundation for problem solving, working together, parenting, and growing. It’s key!
• Trust must be rebuilt when broken. This takes time and repeated reliable action.

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:


1. She is committed to her family.

• v.11 - Her husband has full confidence in her v.28 - Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

II. BE RESPONSIBLE – PROVERBS 31:15-20

15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her female servants. 16 She evaluates a field and buys it; she plants a vineyard with her earnings. 17 She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong. 18 She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night. 19 She extends her hands to the spinning staff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy. 

How does the capable woman provide for her family?

• The capable woman showed she was smart, organized, and diligent in handling family matters. Being thrifty with finances allowed her to be generous with family, with employees, and with the needy. When we wisely use wisdom and gifts God has given us, we bless people who watch us.

Notice that the passage speaks of skills and habits carried out day-after-day over the long term. How do you do this? How could you help your young adult kids build similar habits?

• This is simple reality. We show that we love God in the ways that we carry out the details of life. It’s a not-to-be-missed adventure.
• Everything we do should be done to honor God (Col. 3:17). Daily details – like providing food, buying a field, planting a vineyard – must honor God.
• Younger family members observe our habits and attitudes. Are we showing the joy that comes in handling all our responsibilities in a way that pleases God?

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:



1. She is a competent woman.



v. 15, 18 - gets up while it is still dark; her lamp does not go out at night

v. 13 - works with eager hands

v. 15 - provides food for her family

v. 16 - considers a field and buys it

v. 18 - sees that her trading is profitable



This woman is resourceful. She makes wise use of her time and takes her responsibility seriously. God highly exalts this faithful and reliable woman.





III. BE GODLY – PROVERBS 31:25-31
25 Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: 29 “Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. 31 Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. 

Notice that the first evidence of a God-fearing nature is strength and honor. How can we build strong families if we have low opinions of self? How about of others?



Compare/contrast God’s standard of beauty and value with our culture’s standard? How is the woman described and what qualities define her incredible worth?

• 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Man does not see what the Lord sees, for man sees what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.”
• The standard of our culture seldom reflect God’s standards for judging a person, but what we miss by settling for cultural standards. Think about why we do this.
• In our culture, beauty is often judged by physical standards such as a comely appearance, stylish clothes, and expensive jewelry, along with accessories such as expensive cars or houses. These things are deceptive and fleeting.
• The Proverbs 31 woman is noted for her strength, honor, wisdom, loving instruction, and fear of God. Why are these of incredible value?
• Solomon was not saying there’s anything wrong with charm and beauty, but he was cautioning they are not what a home should be built upon.

Characteristic of a Proverb Woman:



1. She is committed to the Lord.

• v. 30 - a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised Identity comes from what we're committed to. Too often in our society, a woman's identity is based on how she looks. The television constantly reinforces this idea. Proverbs addresses this in v. 30 - Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. The Proverbs 31 woman gets her identity - not from her looks, being a mother, a wife, or a woman, but as a person who serves, obeys and love the Lord.

Points:

1. As you live a life of trust in the Lord, your family members will more readily trust you.
2. Your love for the Lord finds expression in how you go about details of life as a generous steward of your abilities.
3. Look for ways to use your gifts and abilities to bless.
4. Look for ways to make your home a ministry center.
5. Live life based on godly standards.
6. Make a lifetime commitment to God; determine you will live a godly life.

How can we begin to be more like the Proverb woman?



By eliminating distractions – Television

• What if you turned off the TV? How much more time would you have? The main source of godless advice, thoughts and language in our home comes from the TV.

Depend on the Lord - Psalm 127:1

• Unless the Lord builds the house those who build it labor in vain. Our lives are a gift from God. So are the people that He has put in your sphere of influence. You influence more people than you realize.

Our children belong to God, not us. God is their true father. We are His managers. The goal of our parenting is to help our children obey God, not us.



Books, tapes, and classes are helpful but if the Lord is not at the center of your life, forget it!

Pray for your relationships, your family, and your role in God's plan. Pray more and criticize less and you'll see a big difference.



A word to those of you who aren't women -- Open your eyes to all your wives and mothers are and do. Let them know they are as priceless as rubies.



A godly woman should have the underlying character, but each woman’s schedule will look different than the next woman. She is something to aspire toward, but not something to be completely attained because she probably is not one woman. She gives the challenge to rise above the bar, and the hope that through God’s grace, a woman can live a life that brings glory to her Lord and blessing to her household.

Prayer of Commitment

Dear Lord, families are threatened on every turn by a world bent on evil. Give me strength to do my part to build my home into the kind of home where You are the priority and where I am an effective model to others of what it means to have You at the center of my home and my life. Amen.

It's Mother's Day weekend as we look to Proverbs 31 for direction on the extraordinary relationships we can have in the family.

See you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan

Class Lesson May 5, 2013

Hey Gang,

The Book of Proverbs is rich in wisdom that makes for strong and godly relationships. But the wisdom found in Proverbs is more than human knowledge or intellectualism – it is divine wisdom!


We begin a four-week study this week, by discovering what Proverbs teaches us about life’s most important relationship – our relationship with God. Only when that relationship is established can we build quality relationships with others. Then, we will look at a case study from Proverbs that helps us focus on our relationships within the family. Next, we will learn how every relationship can be strengthened when we live by certain godly character traits. Finally, we will look at ways we can be a good friend by helping others become the people God wants them to be.

This study is important because we were created for relationships, first with God and then with those who are around us in home, community, work, and church settings. We will learn through Proverbs how to maximize those relationships.



1. May 5 Getting My Most Important Relationship Right (Proverbs 3)

2. May 12 Building The Home I Need (Proverbs 31)

3. May 19 Becoming a Person Others Need (Proverbs 6)

4. May 26 Giving Others What They Really Need (Proverbs 11, 27, & 28)

Life Goal

Honor God in the way you show love to family, friends, and work colleagues.

I. SHOW TRUST BY OBEYING – PROVERBS 3:5-8

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; 6 think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths. 7 Don’t consider yourself to be wise; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 8 This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.

LEAN & LIVE: Rely is a synonym for trust, that means to lean on something as if it were a crutch. Some people reject a relationship with God, arrogantly denying they need a crutch. But in reality, everyone leans on something and what you lean on determines if your life lasts or collapses.


Job 8:13-15 says, “Such is the destiny of all who forget God; the hope of the godless will perish. His source of confidence is fragile; what he trusts in is a spider’s web. He leans on his web, but it doesn’t stand firm. He grabs it, but it does not hold up.”



What are webs people spin to lean on that simply don’t hold up?

What are webs people spin to lean on that simply don’t hold up? Think about a time when God held you up during a situation like a tragedy, a time of decision, a relationship, a situation at work, a challenge at home, a health issue.



Solomon emphasized the wisdom of extraordinary relationships. When connections are half-hearted, every area of life gets shaky. The primary relationship to get right is, of course, a relationship with God. Then He coaches us in human relationships. Establishing a solid relationship with God calls for whole-hearted trust. The key to a right relationship with God is found in the initial word of verse 5 – trust. The degree of trust in the Lord is captured in the phrase with all your heart.



HEART in the Bible is not just the center of emotions; it’s the center of everything: motives, desires, feelings, goals, wallets, schedules, and minds. What are some examples of motives or desires that show half-hearted trust in God?


Your heart suggests that to trust in the Lord is a personal act and no one does it for you, and you cannot do it for someone else. A right relationship with God results when an individual makes the Lord the complete source of security, confidence, and hope.



If you’re going to trust in God with all your heart, you’ve got to start OBEYING Him. Flowery talk won’t do it. Only real obedience in real life will show the trust that leads to healing and strength. We have lived long enough to have gained some wisdom along the way. When God is the author of this wisdom, the wisdom will work. Your own opinions won’t. God is not anti-intellectual; He’s anti-arrogance. The contrast provides a clear choice for finding security and confidence for life: Lord or self. To think about Him in all your ways means far more than just to recognize or accept the fact of His existence.


The Lord was not to be relegated to life’s fringes or assigned only to specific days, places, or practices – even religious ones. To know Him truly called for a continuous experience with Him in the crucibles and in the routines of daily living. If you truly know Him, you cannot help but trust Him.





Points:

1. Trusting the Lord completely is key to being in right relationship with Him.

2. Depending on our own wisdom and understanding is not a reliable way to live life to its fullest.

3. The Lord can be trusted to direct our lives and provide that which allows us to know fullness of life.


“Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?” What song was this from? (The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot)





II. LIVE OUT GOD’S WISDOM – PROVERBS 3:13-18

13 Happy is a man who finds wisdom and who acquires understanding, 14 for she is more profitable than silver, and her revenue is better than gold. 15 She is more precious than jewels; nothing you desire compares with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left, riches and honor. 17 Her ways are pleasant, and all her paths, peaceful. 18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her, and those who hold on to her are happy.

SOPHIA ISN’T A BROWN-EYED BRUNETTE: Sophia is more than a top baby girl name for this decade or an Italian actress. The Greek noun sophia means “wisdom, intelligence, or knowledge.” In the Old Testament, sophia describes a person who looks to God for instruction in living. Solomon declared in Proverbs 1:7 that fearing God is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom. Based on this, what efforts must be put into discovering and living according to true wisdom?


What is our responsibility in living by God’s wisdom?


How would you define wisdom as used in these verses?

• For the Christian believer, these words remind us that whatever good one enjoys in life is a gift from God (James 1:17), a blessing that comes from living with divine wisdom (V.5).

Points:

1. Finding God’s wisdom brings true happiness that is found only by being in right relationship with God.

2. God’s wisdom is of incomparable value.

3. Holding on to God’s wisdom is the way to the blessed life.




III. CHOOSE GOD’S WAYS – PROVERBS 3:31-35

31 Don’t envy a violent man or choose any of his ways; 32 for the devious are detestable to the Lord, but He is a friend to the upright. 33 The Lord’s curse is on the household of the wicked, but He blesses the home of the righteous; 34 He mocks those who mock, but gives grace to the humble. 35 The wise will inherit honor, but He holds up fools to dishonor.

 
THAT TURNS MY STOMACH!: At the risk of making you feel a little queasy, list some things that make people feel nauseated. Now list a few things people do to get relief from nausea.


Some actions and attitudes are so offensive to God that they virtually turn His stomach. Solomon listed seven of those detestable things in Proverbs 6:16-19. Why would each make someone sick?


Christ said in Revelation 3:16 that lukewarm, half-hearted commitment to Him makes Him want to vomit. What do you think relieves God’s nausea?



Contrast the fate of the wicked with that of the wise.

• The Lord’s curse is on the household of the wicked
• But He blesses the home of the righteous
• A curse from the Lord was a withdrawal of His presence, leaving an individual to be bound by whatever other choice he or she had made. A curse represents God’s judgment and punishment. Blessing, on the other hand, refers to the goodness that comes from the Lord.

Points:

1. The Lord detests those who do evil.

2. The Lord blesses those who are humble and upright before Him.

3. To be wise in the ways of the Lord means to stay focused on Him and to shun the ways of those who oppose Him.





After this lesson, my prayer is that you will:



1. Find hope for all relationships by getting your relationship with God right.

2. Embrace upright living.

3. Demonstrate your commitment to God with whole-hearted trust and obedience.

4. Delight in learning from God.

5. Find true happiness by discovering and living according to God’s wisdom.

6. See the subtleties of wickedness and refuse wicked behaviors, attitudes, or goals.

7. Connect with God by conversing with Him regularly throughout the day.

Prayer of Commitment

Lord, many things vie for my attention. However, my heart’s desire is foremost to be in right relationship with You and to heed Your words and follow Your wisdom. Please help me. Amen. 

 
This is a great start to a great series on extraordinary relationships. There is a direct connection between relationship with God and relationships with others. If you desire real connections and right relationships with others, you must get that most important relationship right. Only God can guide you to connect well with others.

See you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan