Class Lesson for May 31, 2026

 Series: Fully Alive - A Study of Ephesians

Sermon Recap

Ephesians 5:22–33 teaches that Christian marriage is a living picture of the gospel. It begins with submission, not selfishness, and is marked by sacrificial love and deep unity. As husbands and wives live out their roles in Christ, their marriage becomes a reflection of Jesus and His church — building one another up and displaying the beauty of the gospel to the world.

2 Questions to wrestle with before Sunday: 

1. Why did God give Paul this message regarding the marriage relationship when he wasn't even married?                                                                                                            
2. Why does Paul tell the wife to submit and the husband to love?

 

  

Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives and Husbands

[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

[25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body.

[31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Ephesians 5:22-33.

Closing Thoughts

Ephesians 5 shows that Christian marriage is missional. When marriages are marked by sacrificial love, humility, and unity, they put the gospel on display for others to see. As a group, this means we support, encourage, and pray for one another’s marriages, helping each other grow in Christlikeness. We also model these same values in all relationships, showing the world a different way to live. A way that is shaped not by selfishness, but by the love of Jesus.

END

Teacher Notes: 

Ephesians 5:22-33

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What do you think marriage is supposed to look like?

Is marriage supposed to be biblical?

What does the Bible say about marriage?

• Marriage is God’s idea – Genesis 2:18-24
• Commitment is essential to a successful marriage – Genesis 24:58-60
• Romance is important – Song of Songs 4:9-10
• Marriage holds times of great joy – Jeremiah 33:10-11
• Marriage creates the best environment for raising children – Malachi 2:14-15
• Unfaithfulness breaks the bond of trust, the foundation of all relationships – Matthew 5:32
• Marriage is permanent – Matthew 19:6
• Ideally, only death should dissolve marriage – Romans 7:2-3
• Marriage is based on the principled practice of love, not on feelings – Ephesians 5:21-33
• Marriage is a living symbol of Christ and the church – Ephesians 5:23, 32
• Marriage is good and honorable – Hebrews 13:4

Meet Carl & Ellie

Click Play to Watch

What do we learn about marriage from Carl and Ellie?

What made Carl and Ellie’s relationship so meaningful wasn’t one grand moment — it was years of shared sacrifice, commitment, and love through every season of life.

Paul tells us this morning that a lasting love is built slowly over time through shared humility, forgiveness, sacrifice, and faithfulness.

Why do you think God gave Paul this message regarding the marriage relationship when he wasn't ever even married?

Paul may not have been married, but the message did not originate from Paul’s personal experience — it came from God through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

 

In Ephesians 3:3, Paul says: “By revelation he made known unto me the mystery…”

And in 2 Timothy 3:16: “All scripture is given by inspiration of God…”

 

So, the authority of Paul’s teaching does not rest on whether he personally experienced marriage. It rests on God as the designer of marriage.

 

In many ways, Paul was uniquely prepared to explain the spiritual meaning behind marriage because his focus was so deeply centered on Christ and the church. Notice that in Ephesians 5, Paul spends more time talking about Christ’s love than about romance itself.

 

Paul understood sacrifice, humility, covenant faithfulness, servant leadership, and self-giving love.

 

Even though he was unmarried, he lived out many of the very principles he taught like giving himself for others, suffering sacrificially, serving the church, putting others before himself, and remaining devoted to Christ.

 

Sometimes people who are outside a situation can see certain truths more clearly because they are not clouded by personal emotions or self-interest.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:25-30

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  

Why does Paul tell the wife to submit and the husband to love?

Thank you for such a spirited discussion on this very important question!

 

Paul addresses both wives and husbands in Ephesians 5.

For Wives: Paul calls wives to willingly submit because sin naturally pushes relationships toward resistance, rivalry, or power struggles. Submission becomes an act of humility and trust in God rather than self-assertion.

For Husbands: Paul calls husbands to sacrificial love because sinful men are naturally tempted toward selfish leadership, passivity, harshness, or domination.

So, Paul does something radical, he points husbands not to power, but to the cross.

Instead of “rule over her,” Paul says: “Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.”

Many couples spend the early years of marriage trying to change each other.

But a mature love begins asking: How can I serve you better?

And that is where relationships begin to reflect Christ.

Ephesians 5:31-33

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  

What does pursuing “oneness” look like after many years together?

Pursuing “oneness” after many years together often looks less dramatic and more deeply intentional.

Early in marriage, oneness is often built around excitement, attraction, building a home, raising children, and shared dreams. But after decades together, oneness becomes richer. It becomes two lives deeply intertwined through years of shared experience.

 

Susan and I are celebrating 43 years

of marriage.

I would like to celebrate it with a song that speaks 

to our lesson today.

Click Play to Listen to the Song

Next week – we’re going to the beach and Brent Egan will be teaching on Ephesians 6:1-9