Class Lesson February 14, 2016

THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE

The world’s quietest room is at Orfield Laboratories in Minneapolis, MN. It’s a chamber built with double walls of concrete and insulated steel covered by 3.3-foot thick acoustic fiberglass wedges. It’s said that a person can hear his or her own beating heart, gurgling stomach, and even pulsing inner ear.

Most people can’t take the silence for more than 30 minutes.

Our lives are filled with “noise,” and we’re often comfortable with that. But busy, noisy lives can keep us from hearing the truth of what’s inside us. Greed, selfishness, lust, and a host of other things are hiding in our hearts. When we recognize the dual threat of both the internal and the external, we see the gravity of God’s call to live pure lives. It’s not just a call to purity in terms of our actions, but in our very being. It’s a call for absolute agreement in our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Matthew 5:27-32 (NIV)

27“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’

32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.



A certificate of divorce (v. 31)—The Greek word translated here originally carried the sense of abandonment of property; then, in Jewish circles, the term acquired the meaning of a certificate of divorce given to a woman so she could remarry without charge of adultery.

Matthew 5:27-30

There’s no doubt about it: sex is a powerful force in today’s world. “Sex sells.” But why?

 

The answer is that sex was designed to be the most pure, the most uninhibited, and the most unashamed kind of intimacy imaginable. God intended it to be an act in which a person is both known and fully knows another person without shame, holding nothing back. But, like everything else in the world, sex has been corrupted. Instead of serving as an expression of love and intimacy, sex has become a tool for personal gratification at the expense of another human being.


That brings us to the topic of purity. In Matthew 5, Jesus taught that true purity isn’t just a matter of abstaining from sinful sex; it’s a condition of the heart that must be corrected. He called us to engage in the fight for purity at any cost. In verses 29-30, He gave us a battle plan for pursuing that kind of purity:

• Identify the source. Jesus told us to root out the source of impurity. His vivid illustrations involved the eyes and the hand, but we might think about temptation in terms of other sources. Are you tempted by images you see on your computer or television? Does a certain relationship or habit trouble you? Do you struggle during a period of time you have to spend alone?

 

• Deal ruthlessly with the temptation. According to Jesus, if our eye causes us to sin, we should gouge it out. If it’s our hand, we should cut it off. Though that might sound extreme, the reason is simple: When you consider what’s at stake, you’ll do whatever it takes to protect your purity. When you consider that these patterns of behavior, if left unchecked, cause you to fall under God’s judgment, then you’ll start taking them a little more seriously. 

• Replace the temptation with something better. Don’t focus on not thinking impure thoughts; focus instead on something better. Find something constructive to do for the kingdom with your time. Fill the void left by temptation with something more—something better—and soon you won’t have to invest the mental energy to not think about whatever it was that caused you to struggle. It’s been replaced.

 
 

Matthew 5:31-32

God created our bodies, and He gave us our human needs and desires as integral parts of those bodies. God also gave us good and right avenues to fulfill those desires.

Sin happens when we seek to satisfy a God-given desire through an unholy avenue. Instead of turning to the God-given avenues of fulfilling those desires, we turn to whatever is easiest. Or most convenient. Or the least costly.

In verse 31, Jesus brought marriage into His discussion of purity. Marriage is the physical and spiritual union between a man and a woman for a lifetime; it is the one and only way God has given us to express and fulfill sexual desire.

Unfortunately, marriage—like sex—has fallen under the shadow of sin. God intended the marriage covenant to be a reflection of the covenant He makes with His own people and, therefore, to be unbroken. Because of sin, however, marriages have failed to live up to God’s standard.

In verse 31, Jesus quoted from the Old Testament law (see Deut. 24:1). In this particular law, a man was required to produce a divorce certificate instead of just arbitrarily deciding he didn’t want to be married anymore. This provision was instituted to provide legal protection for the divorced woman, since women had few rights in that culture and little ability to provide for themselves. Without this stipulation, a man could threaten to divorce his wife and leave her destitute.


Even though the law was designed to protect women, the rabbis and religious leaders of Jesus’ day had distorted this law to allow divorce for even minor complaints. What was designed to be good was being used to abuse.

Jesus called us back to the sacred nature of marriage. He did give one exception, however. Divorce may be permitted if a spouse is unfaithful to the marriage. That doesn’t mean Jesus condones divorce; in fact, it means the opposite. God loves and values marriage highly as a covenant relationship. A marriage can be ended only if someone is unfaithful. Faithfulness is so important that, if violated, God will allow a covenant that was established before Him to be ended.


What can we learn from these verses? Jesus is telling us to hold onto marriage. Commit to it. Don’t run, but stay faithful. Keep the following in mind:

• Marriage is difficult. Marriage is difficult because we confront the depth of our selfishness. When we truly have to put someone else’s needs ahead of our own, we discover where our commitments lie.

• Marriage is supported. No couple faces the challenges of marriage alone. God is with us, and God is for us. He is pro-marriage. In fact, He’s so much in favor of marriage that He chose the relationship between a husband and a wife to represent His own relationship with His people (see Rev. 19:7-8; 21:2; 22:17). 

• Marriage is an opportunity for growth. God uses difficulties within marriage to make us more like Jesus. Marriage, the most intimate relationship, is the ideal place to display and practice the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (see Gal. 5:22-23).

“It is human to err. It is devilish

to remain willfully in error.”

-St. Augustine

LIVE IT OUT

Holding on to purity isn’t always easy, but it’s always valuable. Consider the following suggestions for seeking purity this week: 

• Replace. What is one way you are spending your time that is not contributing to your personal purity? Look for something to replace it this week. 

• Serve. Consider a practical way you can serve your spouse this week. For example, intentionally do the one thing around the house your spouse doesn’t enjoy doing. 

• Talk. Begin the process of accountability by letting your guard down with someone you trust. Initiate a conversation with that person and share one way in which you are struggling to hold on to purity at all costs.

You don’t have to settle for the world’s standard of purity and faithfulness. God has something more. Go after it.

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Our Lesson Today:

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A reporter once asked a couple, “How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?” The woman replied, “We were born in a time when if something broke we would FIX it, not just throw it away.”




How true is this today?


We applaud the anniversaries of those who have been married for 25 years or longer and we are right to celebrate, but our society seems to celebrate this with amazement. They see it as if a miracle has happened that two people stayed committed to each other for so long. Faithfulness and purity are a complete wonder to our culture, but as Christ followers, it should be our norm.


This week Jesus discusses two issues related to the greatest of human relationships – marriage.


He calls for purity and faithfulness between husband and wife.

• Purity - With this Jesus turns to the 7th Commandment for His next example of how to live with a righteousness that exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees. Just as we saw last week, the scribes and Pharisees’ traditional interpretation dealt with adultery only as a physical act. Jesus goes further by saying that adultery is a matter of the heart driven by lust. The physical act is prevented when the heart issue is dealt with.
• Faithfulness - Jesus also deals with divorce, because it had become a common practice, had become too easy and was more now just an act of personal convenience.

The Point: Hold on to purity at all costs.

I. Practice Purity in Your Sexual Conduct - Matthew 5:27-30
27“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.


The Number One Secret in America

Some secrets are fun:

• Knowing about a surprise party.
• Knowing the best place to fish.
• Knowing the secret to a card trick.

But some secrets are far from fun. In fact, we may want some secrets to stay secret.

Do you know what the number one secret is in America? It’s who views pornography.

• Approximately 40 million people are sexually involved through the Internet.
• Almost 9 out of 10 young men (87 percent) and 1 out of 3 young women (31 percent) report viewing pornography.
• Twenty-five percent of all search engine requests are pornographic related.

Sure, lots of people view pornography, but the secret is who these people are. It’s not the kind of behavior people openly talk about—especially in Christian circles. But maybe we should.

• Fifty percent of Christian men regularly view pornography.
• Twenty percent of Christian women regularly view pornography.

Let that sink in. These statistics do not reflect those infrequent Internet searches that may take you someplace you did not intend to go. These are Christians who regularlyview pornography. 

 

When did sex become something we didn’t talk about?

• Probably when it lost its purity. That brings us to the topic of purity. Sex was designed to be the most pure, the most uninhibited, and the most unashamed kind of intimacy imaginable. God intended it to be an act in which a person is both known and fully knows another person without shame, holding nothing back. But, like everything else in the world, sex has been corrupted. Instead of serving as an expression of love and intimacy, sex has become a tool for personal gratification at the expense of another human being.

Does the media encourage sexual impurity? Should Christians take a stance regarding such media? Have you drawn a line on what is proper and what is not? Should you?



In Jesus’ day, the thought was as long as I don’t have a sexual act with another woman other than my wife - then anything else is okay. But Jesus said that’s not true purity - just abstaining from sinful sex - it’s a condition of the heart that must be corrected.



How does Jesus compare the act of adultery to lust?

• Here Jesus sees lusting after a woman or a man is like adultery that is being committed already in the heart. This is because that is where adultery begins…in lusting and in the heart. Jesus said more specifically that if they looked at another “with lustful intent” or in other words, their intent is to lust or commit adultery in their heart or in their mind (essentially the same thing). The heart is often spoken of as being the seat of the intellect by the Jews so “in the heart” is the same thing as being “in the mind.” Either way, lusting in the heart or mind for someone who is not your spouse might as well be committing adultery, even though it is not the actual physical act. This is why pornography is so destructive to marriages. The person who looks at pornography is sinning in their heart by lusting after what they see and it is with intent (intentionally) that they are doing it. If they actually had the woman or man in the image actually been there, you can almost be certain that the act of adultery would be fulfilled in reality.
• We are to see members of the opposite sex not as objects to be used for selfish purposes but as persons to be treated with respect. Jesus urged His disciples to bring their feelings of lust under control of the divine expectation of purity of heart.
• Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The act begins with a lustful look.
• The overt act of adultery is rooted in the desires of the heart.

How did Jesus illustrate the seriousness with which we are to consider His instruction in this matter? How are we to apply Jesus’ words?

• We need to take deliberate and sometimes difficult actions to free ourselves from situations that have potential to lead us to sin. Better to suffer the pain of separating ourselves from tempting situations than to suffer the eternal judgment of God against our sin.

Jesus offered 3 practical instructions of how to remain sexually pure:

1. Guard your mind.

• People don’t just fall into adultery. It is a process that begins in the mind. “For as he thinks within himself, so he is” (Prov. 23:7 NASB), goes the proverb. Jesus said, “. . . out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality . . .” (Matt. 15:19 NIV), and “. . . anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28 NIV). Regardless of outward behavior, the true test of sexual purity is our thought life. It is what we allow to enter our minds and what we choose to dwell on. What we do is extremely important, of course. But what we think determines what we do. Consequently, the only effective and lasting way to change our behavior is to change our minds. Lust is a battle fought first and foremost in the mind. One may be lustfully occupied while listening to a sermon or driving a car or even while praying. Because of its unseen character, it is never safe to say of another person, “He could never have that problem.”

2. Be careful what you look at.

• Adultery is much more than the physical act, or perhaps we should say it is much less than the physical act. It is the lustful look, the leering glance, the furtive thought, the imagined act. Lust is the runaway desire that causes one to imagine having sexual encounters with a person. Billy Graham said: “Lust is the second look. Many times you can’t avoid the first look, but you can avoid the second look. That look is sin.” Jesus made it clear that adultery is the fruit of which lust is the root. Jesus’ whole point is that it is quite possible to commit adultery in the heart without ever physically touching anyone else. The control of the heart is due to the control of the eyes. You may outwardly remain faithful to your spouse while inwardly lusting after someone else. That inward lusting—though it remains hidden for years—is “adultery in the heart” and is a way of breaking the Seventh Commandment—quietly, silently, repeatedly.

3. Don’t go to places that will lead to sin.

• Jesus added to the don’t-look policy a don’t-touch policy. The command to get rid of troublesome eyes, hands, and feet is an example of Jesus’ use of dramatic figures of speech and exaggeration. To remove the eye and hand would not remove the sinful thought of the heart. Jesus wasn’t advocating a literal physical self maiming, but more a ruthless self-denial. He is instructing His followers to behave as if they had actually plucked out their eyes and cut off their hands and feet, and were now blind and crippled and so could not do the things or visit the places which previously caused you to sin. If your eye causes you to sin, don’t look; if your foot causes you to sin, don’t go; if your hand causes you to sin, don’t do it.
• Jesus’ point was that we are to refuse sexual contact with any person other than our spouse.
• Jesus wants us to be committed to a principle as well as to a person who is our spouse.

Give some thought this week to any habits, practices, or relationships that maybe you need to change, or eliminate because they could put your commitment to your spouse at risk.

II. Maintain Faithfulness in Marriage - Matthew 5:31-32
31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus called us back to the sacred nature of marriage. He gives one exception - divorce may be permitted if a spouse is unfaithful to the marriage. That doesn’t mean He condones divorce; in fact, it means the opposite. God loves and values marriage as a covenant relationship. A marriage can be ended only if someone is unfaithful. Faithfulness is so important that, if violated, God will allow a covenant that was established before Him to be ended.



How had the law been distorted or abused as it related to divorce?

• Divorce was the man’s prerogative, when Jesus said this, not the woman’s. Men were divorcing their wives for the most minor grievances.

Is getting a divorce too easy today and should it be changed?

 

How did Jesus challenge the practices that allowed for an easy divorce?

• Persons in marriage foremost need to strive to maintain the relationship rather than to look for a way to escape. (Fix it, don’t throw it away!)
• Jesus may have been referring to the rabbinic interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4. In that account a man found something improper about the woman to whom he was married. The man could provide her written documentation and “send her out of his house” (Deut. 24:1). No guidelines were given for what circumstances justified his action, but the language implies that it might have been sexual impropriety. Theoretically, it could have been anything, even the most minor grievance, which is the way it had come to be popularly applied. According to this case, the woman would be able to marry another. If later her new husband decided he didn’t like her, he too could follow the same procedure and dismiss her from his home. The original intent of Deut. 24:1-4, however, may not have been so much focused on divorce but on guidelines for remarriage following divorce. The woman apparently could remarry. However, if her first husband wanted to remarry her following the dissolution of her second marriage, he was prohibited from doing so. In time, the original intent of the law appears to have been ignored. Rather, it became a legal precedent for saying that a marriage could be dissolved by issuing a writing of divorcement. That is what Jesus was challenging.

What was God’s plan for marriage?

• God’s expectation is that marriage be between one man and one woman for a lifetime.
• Jesus is advocating that marriage be honored. The Ten Commandments are about honor and value; we are to honor God, honor His name, honor the Sabbath, honor our parents, and honor human life. Now in the seventh commandment God is instructing that we honor marriage and the family by committing to marital faithfulness. The Bible clearly states that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Heb. 13:4 NIV). To understand what Jesus is saying, we should remember what marriage is supposed to be: One man with one woman pledged in a public commitment to live together as husband and wife for life. One man with one woman for life! That’s what marriage is supposed to be. Anything less falls short of the Scriptural ideal. This teaching is as much about marriage as it is about adultery. In fact, Jesus raised the standard of marriage.
• Nothing destroys God’s ideal of marriage quicker than adultery. God is not a kill-joy when it comes to sex. He invented sex. But like everything else, it must be controlled. He wants us to use it not abuse it. Properly controlled and expressed within a marriage, sex is beautiful and fantastic. But outside of marriage, it is destructive and detrimental to your health—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Herein lies the reason God commands us not to commit adultery. God classifies adultery among the worst sins a person can commit. Hollywood makes the free and easy lifestyle of adultery so glamorous. But it is a blatant lie. Name one good thing adultery ever accomplished. Name one home that was made stronger by unfaithfulness. Point out the children made happier because a parent broke his or her vows. Search the pages of history and see if you can find one good thing to say about adultery—even one positive benefit of unfaithfulness. I submit it can’t be done. There is nothing good to be said about adultery. Adultery wrecks homes, destroys lives, harms children, ruins reputations, and causes pain. Everybody loses. Everybody suffers. Solomon wrote, “A man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself” (Prov. 6:32 NIV).
• Even if a marriage fails, God is a God of grace and is ready to forgive and to restore.

What are some actions that you and your spouse can take to strengthen the quality of your relationship with one another? What is the best way to maintain and protect your marriage?

• A growing relationship with your spouse will reduce the pull and attraction of adultery. Jesus is advocating a call to fidelity in marriage. The apostle Paul added, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor. 7:13 NIV). It has always been true that the best defense against adultery is a happy marriage.
• To the unmarried Jesus is advocating that marriage is worth waiting for.
• To the married Jesus is advocating that marriage is worth working for. Someone once said that married couples should keep their lawns so green that it would make everybody else’s look brown by comparison. Mary Alda, the wife of Alan Alda, the actor, said, “It’s real easy to leave your spouse. It’s not easy to leave your best friend.” You cannot be best friends with someone you don’t spend time with that you don’t see very often, that you don’t talk and tell your heart to.

Jesus is telling us to hold onto marriage. Commit to it. Don’t run, stay faithful.

3 things you should know:

1. Marriage is difficult. Marriage is difficult because it challenges us to confront the depth of our selfishness. When we truly have to put someone else’s needs ahead of our own, we discover where our commitments lie.
2. Marriage is supported. We don’t face the challenges of marriage alone. God is with us, and God is for us. He is very pro-marriage. In fact, He’s so much in favor of marriage that He chose the relationship between a husband and a wife to represent His own relationship with His people (see Rev. 19:7-8; 21:2; 22:17).
3. Marriage is an opportunity for growth. God uses difficulties in marriage to make us more like Jesus. Marriage is the most intimate relationship we have, and it is the ideal place to display and practice the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (see Gal. 5:22-23). 

What Women Really Want for Valentine’s Day

Skip the chocolates and flowers. OK, you should probably still get those. But the flowers might last for a week and the chocolates won’t even stay that long. Even jewelry will one day end up in the back of a drawer.

If you want to give your wife something that will last, start seeing her as God does. This will not just change your Valentine's Day, but your entire relationship.

If you want to give your wife something that will last, start seeing her as God does.

The woman you are with is a daughter of God and she should be treated that way.



3 Ways to Offer What Women Really Want:

 
1. Listen
One word used to describe love in the Bible is “patient” (1 Corinthians 13:4). Patiently listening to the cares and thoughts of your wife will make her feel valued.

1 Peter 3:7 encourages men to be “considerate” and “understanding” towards their wives. If you’re a man, you’ll likely never really understand women, but you can still be understanding.

2. Encourage
After really listening to what your wife says, offer her kind words of encouragement. Colossians 3:19 tells men to “love their wives and not be harsh with them.” Words hold the power of life and healing or of death (Proverbs 12:18, 18:21). Your kind words to your wife will not only impact your marriage, but also her image of herself and her relationship with Jesus.

3. Pursue
We’re not asking you to know every hair on the woman’s head like God does, but pursuit involves paying attention. What does she like or dislike? What does she need? Do those things! It may take some extra time and effort but Ephesians 5:25 calls men to love their wives sacrificially like Christ loved the church. Pursue her because you love her and because you believe she's valuable like God declares her valuable.



Conclusion: In an age in which social and political efforts have been made to redefine marriage and in which marriage is treated lightly and divorces are even celebrated, Jesus’ words challenge us to honor the sanctity of marriage to a degree that greatly exceeds cultural practice or social acceptability. Rather than look for ways to end a marriage, stand by the commitment, and with earnestness abide by the prohibition against divorce.

 

Prayer of Commitment

Father, biblical marriage is under attack in our nation and, no doubt, even some marriages in our church are facing challenges. So help us to reaffirm our commitment to the purity demanded by biblical marriage and to stand strong in the faith. Amen.



Hope to see you on Sunday!


In His Love,

David & Susan