THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Life is full of difficult people. You encounter them on the job, in the classroom, and maybe even in your Bible study group. Even total strangers can make life difficult.
As I’m writing this, I’m on an airplane, and the guy sitting in front of me has his seat dropped back in my lap. So I’m thinking, How can I write a Bible study about dealing with difficult people when the guy in front of me is making it difficult?
In the same way, how can we keep from being difficult to others? The surface solution is to be nice to everyone all the time. But is that realistic? Is it enough?
Jesus called us to an even higher standard. As with everything Jesus said in His Sermon on the Mount, He went beyond a polite definition of proper behavior. He called us to love others and treat them even as He has treated us.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Matthew 7:1-12 (ESV)
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged.
2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?
11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Evil (v. 11)—Refers to the theological truth that all people have been corrupted by the presence of sin, which makes us enemies of God until we receive the forgiveness offered by Jesus Christ.
The Law and the Prophets (v. 12)—This expression brought to mind the entire scope of Jewish Scripture, which we refer to today as the Old Testament.
What’s the difference between judging
others and talking honestly about sin?
Matthew 7:1-6
It’s all too easy to be critical of others. Yet Jesus told us, “Judge not” (v. 1). Jesus was teaching against the kind of arrogant judgment that condemns—that damages another person. This isn’t a blanket statement against all criticism, but a challenge to be discerning when we appraise our behavior. Later in this chapter, Jesus commanded His followers to judge in the sense of evaluating (see vv. 15-20).
Our treatment of others must begin by considering “the log that is in your own eye” (v. 3). To confront others without first dealing with our own sins and failures is the height of hypocrisy. On the other hand, our own transparency in this area will open the door for making a real difference in the lives of others.
The old adage is certainly true: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” When we focus on getting to know people and loving them, and not merely on judging them, we’ll begin to see change. Only when we grow in our relationships with others will they open up to us and give us permission to offer correction in their lives.
Unfortunately, relationships don’t always proceed the way we want. No matter how hard you try with some people, they may never open up to you or to the message of Christ. Jesus had some strong words to say concerning these individuals: He likened them to dogs and pigs.
Even so, we don’t prejudge people, assuming them to be like the dogs and pigs who, according to Jesus, will trample our message. But once we speak a word to someone and they react harshly, we don’t have to continue. To continually hold out the gospel where it is obviously not wanted is to “give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs” (v. 6).
In other words, if we face sustained rejection in our efforts to share Christ, we should move on. This was Paul’s practice on his missionary travels (see Acts 13:46; 18:6; 19:9). Of course, we can—and should—keep praying for those who reject the gospel, but we can often do more damage than good if we continue to push. Only the Holy Spirit can open a person’s heart to Christ.
Matthew 7:7-11
We can’t get wisdom from our smartphones. We can get information on any subject imaginable, but not wisdom. Wisdom is the ability to see as God sees and to live as God calls us to live.
So how do we get wisdom? The Book of James has an answer: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (Jas. 1:5).
That’s exactly what Jesus was telling us in His sermon: Keep asking, keep searching, and keep knocking. Because wisdom comes through persistent prayer.
Let’s keep this in the context of what we read earlier in verses 1-6: As followers of Christ, we’re not called to judge others, but we can encourage others after we’ve dealt with our own faults and gained the wisdom we need to do so. Persistent prayer will get us there. As we spend time in communion with God, He molds our hearts and cuts away the things that aren’t like Him. Only then will we begin to see others the way the Father sees them.
Jesus used the example of an earthly, sinful father to show the greatness of God’s love. My ability to love my sons as their dad can’t be compared with the nature of our heavenly Father, but even I know how to give good gifts to my boys. Therefore, our heavenly Father—who is far greater and loves us far more—certainly knows much more of how to give us the very things we need.
Persistent prayer to the Father is built on a consistent relationship. “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (John 15:7, emphasis added). Just like the father who gives his son bread instead of a stone, our heavenly Father will give us what we ask because He will refine our heart’s desires as we abide in Him.
When have you benefited
from persistent prayer?
Matthew 7:12
Jesus summed up in one sentence how to have great relationships with others: “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (v. 12). It doesn’t get any clearer than that. The principle seems simple enough, but it’s not so easy to apply.
A lot of people know this principle (or some form of it) as the Golden Rule. Others have presented the idea negatively, as: “Don’t do to others what you do not want done to you.” But that doesn’t go far enough. We could live out this negative rule simply by doing nothing, but Jesus’ words call us to action!
- If I want to be forgiven, I must forgive others.
- If I would love some relational do-overs, I must offer do-overs to those who have hurt me.
- If I want grace extended to me, I must extend grace to others.
This principle goes deeper than just being nice to people because we want people to be nice to us. When you read this principle in light of the complete Sermon on the Mount—and Jesus’ entire life and ministry—it’s a call for us to love others the way Christ loves us.
Jesus didn’t come to condemn us. He came to love us and save us (see John 3:17). He is patient and full of grace in dealing with us; therefore, love and grace need to guide our relationships with others.
How do you want to be treated?
God’s treatment of us should transform our treatment of others. What is our role in God’s transforming work?
LIVE IT OUT
How will Jesus’ words influence your attitudes and actions this week? Consider the following suggestions:
- Seek forgiveness. Think of moments from your recent past when you’ve been judgmental or condemned others in your heart. Confess your sin to God and ask for His forgiveness. If necessary, seek forgiveness from those you have wronged in this way.
- Memorize. Commit Philippians 2:3-4 to memory this week. Let this passage guide you in building and maintaining healthy relationships with others.
- Take a stand. Keep your eyes open this week for circumstances in which people are being mistreated. Take action to stand up for these people in obedience to Jesus’ command that we treat others as we want to be treated.
There are many difficult people in this world, including you and me. The principle behind the Golden Rule is not that we treat others well so that they will treat us well—the truth is that we’ve all been treated well by Christ in spite of our difficulty. Therefore, our relationships should reflect the love of Christ.
Hope to see you on Sunday!
Teacher Notes:
Transformed in My Actions
What is one of the nicest things someone has ever done for you?
Maybe you have done similar nice things for others as well. Jesus said:
Jesus has been addressing what it means to be citizen of the kingdom of heaven or more specifically, what it means to follow Him. Today we look at aspects of how we treat other people.
The word tolerance gets tossed around a lot by Christians and non-Christians. Both groups place a high value on tolerance and want the other to be tolerant toward them, their opinions, and their practices. In spite of the high value each group places on tolerance, they still tend to judge one another.
As Jesus has done throughout the Sermon on the Mount, He calls those who follow Him to a higher standard. He says that we must be transformed from our old ways to a new way.
Today He speaks to our actions regarding judgments, prayer, and how we treat people.
Teacher Notes:
Transformed in My Actions
What is one of the nicest things someone has ever done for you?
- great birthday party/present
- sent me on a cruise
- kind to me in a crisis
- introduce me to Jesus
- encouraged me when I was down
- rescued me when I was in big trouble
- paid off my school bill
- when my spouse married me!
- parents/kids took us/sent us to Disney World
Maybe you have done similar nice things for others as well. Jesus said:
The way we treat others should reflect the way we’re treated by God.
Jesus has been addressing what it means to be citizen of the kingdom of heaven or more specifically, what it means to follow Him. Today we look at aspects of how we treat other people.
The word tolerance gets tossed around a lot by Christians and non-Christians. Both groups place a high value on tolerance and want the other to be tolerant toward them, their opinions, and their practices. In spite of the high value each group places on tolerance, they still tend to judge one another.
As Jesus has done throughout the Sermon on the Mount, He calls those who follow Him to a higher standard. He says that we must be transformed from our old ways to a new way.
Today He speaks to our actions regarding judgments, prayer, and how we treat people.
I. Transform The Way You Judge
Matthew 7:1-6 (HCSB) “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. 2 For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a log in your eye? 5 Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. 6 Don’t give what is holy to dogs or toss your pearls before pigs, or they will trample them with their feet, turn, and tear you to pieces.
Jesus talks about making judgments … what does that mean? What kinds of value judgments are we required to make all the time?
- We judge whether this person should baby-sit my kids
- We judge whether this salesman is telling me the truth
- We judge how much of a tip my waiter/waitress deserves
- Teacher’s judge what kind of grade a student deserves
What was the exaggeration (hyperbole) that Jesus used?
- Speck in another’s eye, log/beam/2x4 in your own eye
- We criticize someone for something small at same time we are guilty of much worse
Why do you think we are so quick to judge others?
- We tear others down so we look better by contrast
- We do it in retaliation from being treated that way by someone else
- As a power trip – “I have the power to treat you as I wish”
- We want to appear spiritual, holy
- We mistakenly see ourselves as superior
What are some dangers we face when we presume to judge others?
- Lose friends
- Influence others negatively for Christianity
- Constant criticism and judgmental attitude towards children will hurt them, cause them to develop bitter attitude, even foster their being abusive of others
- Gives us a bad personal mindset when God wants to work in our lives
Jesus calls for good judgment in verse 6, but says not to judge in verse 1. What is the difference between good judgment and that forbidden in verse 1?
Good Judgment
- comparison of one’s life to scriptural principles
- making judgments in a court situation
- choosing friends carefully (for yourself, for your kids)
- choosing a life’s partner
- making a choice of who to hire for a position
Forbidden Judgment
- condemning someone for what they did
- being judgmental
- making disparaging remarks
- saying things that discourage someone else (children)
- finding petty fault
What are some ways we can discover and deal with the “logs” in our eyes, the problems in our own lives that we tend to ignore?
- Ask God to reveal them to you
- Ask a friend to be honest with you … but be willing to receive honest opinions and probably feel a little hurt
- When you read God’s Word, consider how the Truth there applies to you personally
- Listen for the applications of sermons and Bible studies
- Be willing to confess (agree with God that what you do is) sin
- Receive God’s forgiveness by faith
- Ask God for the strength, the wisdom to do the right thing, make the right choice
What’s the difference between judging others and talking honestly about sin?
The standard of judgment we apply to others will in turn be applied to us, if not by others, certainly by God.
Point: Evaluate Yourself, Don’t Judge Others
II. Transform The Way You Pray
Matthew 7:7-11 (HCSB) “Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
How do we transform the way we pray?
These verses are a continuation of what has preceded them, not just verses 1-6 but the whole of the message in chapters 5 and 6. The demands of discipleship were great. Jesus had the highest standards for behavior, expected His followers to act from the right motive, and desired their relationships with others to be authentic. How could they live up to those demands?
Spiritual discernment calls for spiritual wisdom.
Jesus said to keep on praying to the Father for help to live faithfully as kingdom citizens. This requires wisdom, but not the kind you get from a smart phone – that’s information. Wisdom is the ability to see as God sees and to live as God calls us to live.
So how do we get wisdom? The Book of James has an answer: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (Jas. 1:5).
That’s exactly what Jesus was telling us in His sermon: Keep asking, keep searching, and keep knocking. Because wisdom comes through persistent prayer.
Why should we be persistent in prayer?
- Prayer is ongoing communication with God daily, even hour by hour
- We are expressing our praise and awe of Who God is and what He can do that we cannot
How can we expect God to answer our prayers?
- In His timing
- In His way
- In powerful ways
- In ways that fully convince us that He has done it, it was not a coincidence or happenstance
How does Jesus say our earthly father can be like our Heavenly Father?
- Knows how to give good gifts
- Knows the difference between good and bad gifts
- Usually wants to give good gifts
How does seeing God as a Good Father affect our relationship with Him?
- More willing or able to trust Him
- Able to depend on Him
- Not so ready ignore or forget His love … and thus fret, worry, stress out over our needs
Believers who persist in prayer can expect God to respond.
- God treats us with a goodness that is far superior to the way we treat each other.
- God responds to our prayers with what is good because He is good.
Point: Seek God’s Wisdom
III. Transform The Way You Act Toward Others
Matthew 7:12 (HCSB) Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them—this is the Law and the Prophets.
Which is harder – deliberately doing something good for someone or refraining from doing harm? Why is it harder?
- Easier to do nothing than to do something
- You can ignore someone easily
- To do something nice, you have to think up what it could be, then do it especially if you don’t like someone, it’s easier to do nothing than to do good for them
In what kinds of situations is it hardest to treat others with kindness and respect?
- When they mistreat me
- When they have no particular connection to me – why be nice to someone on the other side of the world I don’t even know?
- When their mindset, their values are completely different from mine
- When there will probably be no reciprocity … when I don’t see them as being nice in return
In what way did Jesus connect this statement to the whole of Scripture (the Old Testament at that time)?
- He said “this is the Law and the Prophets”
- Elsewhere Jesus spoke with the rich young ruler about the greatest commandment … Love the Lord with all your heart and soul, love your neighbor as yourself - said these two things summed up the all the 10 commandments
How would our culture, our society be different if we all lived by this, the Golden Rule?
- Would do away with crime
- Would curtail divorce
- Would remove many of our worries and heartaches about how people are treating us
- When our kindness included sharing of our resources (instead of hoarding), world poverty and suffering would be alleviated
- The Gospel message would be communicated more completely
- It would also be communicated more effectively (people see our love for them, motivated by Jesus in our hearts)
This principle goes deeper than just being nice to people because we want people to be nice to us. When you read this principle in light of the complete Sermon on the Mount—and Jesus’ entire life and ministry—it’s a call for us to love others the way Christ loves us.
- If I want to be forgiven, I must forgive others.
- If I would love some relational do-overs, I must offer do-overs to those who have hurt me.
- If I want grace extended to me, I must extend grace to others.
The Golden Rule is a transforming expression of God’s Word.
Point: Treat Others How You Want To Be Treated
So, what am I saying here in regards to Bruce/Catlin Jenner? Do I have a right to judge him/her?
- Jesus once told the Pharisees that they needed to “stop judging based on a person’s appearance” but instead to “judge righteously” (John 7:24). The irony of Jesus’ statement here is that such a judgment is impossible without the full knowledge of God. (It is also ironic that Christians are judging Caitlyn on the basis of her new appearance and new name.) This is precisely why Jesus warned people that whatever standard they judge others by is exactly what will ultimately be used against them– the way we judge is not the way God judges, and he warns that it will backfire on us in the end. Instead of judgment, Jesus invites us to be known by how loving we are to everyone we cross paths with– including our enemies.
- I do have a Christian perspective on transgender people, though, and it’s the same as my view on all people: God created us all, God loves us all, and if God loves you, then it’s my job to love you too. That means treating you with respect, kindness, and compassion, just like I’d want to be treated. Period.
There are many difficult people in this world, including you and me. The principle behind the Golden Rule is not that we treat others well so that they will treat us well—the truth is that we’ve all been treated well by Christ in spite of our difficulty. Therefore, our relationships should reflect the love of Christ.
In His Love,
David & Susan
