How to Avoid Life’s Pitfalls
Let’s face it. Life in this world is filled with disappointments. Things don’t always turn out the way that we imagined. In the Old Testament, Joseph was one of those rare people who learned the art of making lemonade out of lemons and refusing the temptation to become bitter. No matter what happened to him, he kept his eyes on the Lord and his focus on the future.
How are you in the category of putting the past in the past? Are you stuck in a rut concerning things that happened way back when? Are you harboring resentment toward others? Are you in a season of doubt because life seems lonely and unfair? If so, follow the story of Joseph in this study and learn valuable principles for moving forward in your walk with God and rebuilding your relationships with others. Joseph’s life shows us how we can avoid life’s pitfalls.
Obey God and Deny Self. When we rely on God and not ourselves, He will provide a way out of or through any challenges life throws at us. Through our obedience to Him, we can avoid some of life’s pitfalls altogether.
How to Avoid Life’s Pitfalls
Session 1 The Pitfall of Betrayal Genesis 37:1-5,19-24,26-27
Session 2 The Pitfall of Temptation Genesis 39:1-12
Session 3 The Pitfall of Injustice Genesis 39:21-23; 40:4-8,20-23
Session 4 The Pitfall of Hard Times Genesis 41:28-32,47-54
Session 5 The Pitfall of Bitterness Genesis 45:1-5,9-11
Session 6 The Pitfall of Guilt and Grudges Genesis 50:15-21
1. The Pitfall of Betrayal
Question 1:
How has someone really earned your trust over the years?
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Trust is a valuable commodity and it really stings when that trust disappears. Have you had a friend turn his back on you? A sibling file a lawsuit against you? The pain of betrayal can be crushing. When a trusted ally becomes an enemy, a long winter of depression can set in.
Kevin was a church planter in the Midwest. At age 25, he felt called to start a new church. He gathered a launch team, built a website, and hosted meetings to determine interest. Knowing he was not strong in organizational skills, Kevin wisely surrounded himself with a solid team of strategists. The church took off like a rocket.
But then the unthinkable happened. Behind the scenes, the leaders Kevin had put in place held a series of secret gatherings. They chose to search for a fresh leader with greater administrative skills, and they fired Kevin from the church he was led to start.
Perhaps you have a story like Kevin’s. Betrayal can be devastating, and bitterness can consume us. We don’t have to face betrayal alone. God still works, as we will see in the life of Joseph.
THE POINT
God is at work, even when it’s not obvious.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Genesis 37:1-5
1 Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan. 2 This is the account of Jacob’s family line. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him. 4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. 5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.
We are all born into a family, and every family suffers from generational sins—those sinful habits that are passed from one generation to the next. Joseph’s father Jacob was no exception. Blind to his fault of favoritism, Jacob made huge mistakes that would flow to his kids and deeply affect the whole family. Jacob’s most obvious flaws were his acceptance of cultural polygamy and the presence of blatant favoritism.
Question 2:
How would you describe Joseph’s family?
Jacob added fuel to the fire by giving Joseph “an ornate robe.” Scholars are uncertain if the coat was extra colorful or if it was the long sleeves that set it apart. Either way, this special custom-made coat seemed to push the brothers over the edge, even though the text gives no indication that Joseph desired the gift. In ancient culture, to reject a gift was to reject the person who gave it, so Joseph was expected to wear it. Joseph seemed to be a marked man, because the very sight of him in this robe caused the brothers’ blood to boil. While Joseph’s predicament was mostly his father’s fault, it’s also important to notice the sovereignty of God that played out in the story. While God cannot be blamed for evil, He does allow us to walk through dark valleys.
How do we know this? Joseph had a dream in which he got his first glimpse of what God was going to do. God sent the dream and Joseph shared what he saw. It may have seemed a foolish move, but Joseph essentially told his brothers that they eventually would bow before him. By revealing this dream, Joseph set the trajectory of his life and intensified his brother’s hatred toward him.
Ultimately, the story of Joseph is about God using the mundane, everyday events of life to bring about His grand purpose. Unlike the story of Moses, no miraculous, show-stopping miracles would occur in Joseph’s life. God was at work, even when it wasn’t obvious. And that’s how life normally works.
Joseph’s story helps us see how we can all trust the Lord to help us through our everyday family problems. The study of family systems and generational dysfunction have generated myriad discussions. We are all in the same boat: we have brokenness in our family histories. Like fish swimming in foul water, we are often unaware of the toxic elements of our biological families. As you read the story of Joseph, be aware of your unique family story and how it has shaped you. God wants to use it—all of it—to bring glory to His name.
Genesis 37:19-24
19 “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. 20 “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” 21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. 22 “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father. 23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing— 24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it.
The brothers may not have been looking for an open door to Joseph’s demise, but when such an opportunity presented itself, they schemed to toss him into a pit and leave him for dead. Game over—or so they thought.
What was really happening here? The root of bitterness reaped the fruit of bitterness. Jesus said: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:45). Our speech is a sign of what’s happening deep within us. Envy poisons, and we see that clearly in Joseph’s toxic brothers. We are wise to check our own hearts. It’s a convicting exercise to pause and consider the people we are tempted to envy in our current season of life. Envy happens throughout the world, and unfortunately, we can also find it within the body of Christ.
As important as it is to consider if envy resides in our hearts, it’s also wise to consider if we have caused envy in the hearts of others. Maybe they compare themselves with you and feel God has done more or given more to you. Has God given you success in some area of your life? Do you have a wonderful, harmonious marriage? Do you have well-behaved children? Do you have a high-profile career? If the Lord has blessed you in some obvious way, a good chance exists that others are tempted to envy and even resent you for it.
The struggle with envy is real. At some point, we may cave to this temptation and secretly resent God for giving to others what we want for ourselves. To guard against this, we must put on the mind of Christ. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:3-5).
Question 3:
What harmful consequences have you seen emerge from jealousy and anger?
Genesis 37:26-27
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed.
Though Joseph’s story seemed to be coming to a screeching halt in a pit, God had other plans. The brothers “called an audible” and made a last-minute decision to sell him into slavery instead of leaving him in the pit to die. Their last-minute decision would impact their family—and ultimately the entire nation of Israel—in ways they could not imagine. Years later, Joseph would utter one of the greatest lines in ancient literature. He would look those guilt-weary men in the eyes and say, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Gen. 50:20). It was a masterful plan from the Master.
Question 4:
How have you seen God work during pitfalls in people’s lives?
While Joseph surely must have felt like God had given up on him at that time, God was planning to raise him up to a high seat of power. God is always up to something bigger than we can see. Even when others count us out, He is counting us in. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers and sold “for twenty shekels of silver” (v. 28).
Sounds similar to what happened to Jesus. Many scholars make the point that Joseph’s story is a foreshadowing of the greatest story. The similarities are striking. He was the treasured son of his father, sent off to a land to check on his brothers, and sold for pieces of silver. Even more: through his unjust suffering, he became the savior of his people and ruler over them. It’s a fascinating way to think about it. Even in the Old Testament, God was pointing to what He would do through His Son to seek and to save the lost.
Joseph experienced much suffering in life. Being sold as a slave was bad enough, but Joseph would face more setbacks. God was still at work, however, and He is at work in our lives too. When we are in those moments when life seems to have come to a stop, remember the life of Joseph. God’s hand might not be obvious at the time, but He is at work. Life will deal us our share of disappointments, but the key is to keep moving forward and trusting Christ.
Question 5:
How can our group help when we are faced with a setback or betrayal?
WORKING THROUGH BETRAYAL
Looking back over your life, does one experience of betrayal stand taller than the rest? Consider that experience and answer the questions.
My Prayer:
_______________________________
“In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.”
PROVERBS 16:9
LIVE IT OUT
God is at work, even when it’s not obvious. Choose one of the following applications:
- Be honest with God. Many live in denial, refusing to admit that their heart was broken. Step one is to open up with God and to admit your hard feelings.
- Pray for a friend. Most of us know someone who feels a deep sense of betrayal. Begin praying for them and look for signs that God is at work in helping them heal. Be ready to step in as part of the answer to that prayer.
- Begin a support group. As you meet others dealing with betrayal, consider starting an informal Bible study, perhaps a weekly coffee. Be sure to invite one or two people who have overcome their struggles who can help others.
Let’s go back to church planter Kevin. His story didn’t end with being fired from his first church. Refusing to wallow in his pain, he sought out a mentor and found ways to grow through the pain, cashing in on the experience. It became a defining moment in his life, and he would go on to become a healthy, caring pastor. Betrayal can make us bitter or better. Let’s invite the Lord to use our pain to produce growth in our lives!
Teacher Notes:
How To Avoid Life’s Pitfalls
Introduction: Let’s
face it. Life in this world is filled with disappointments. Things don’t always
turn out the way that we imagined. In the Old Testament, Joseph was one of
those rare people who learned the art of making lemonade out of lemons and
refusing the temptation to become bitter. No matter what happened to him, he
kept his eyes on the Lord and his focus on the future.
How
are you in the category of putting the past in the past? Are you stuck in a rut
concerning things that happened way back when? Are you harboring resentment
toward others? Are you in a season of doubt because life seems lonely and
unfair?
If so,
follow the story of Joseph in this study and learn valuable principles for
moving forward in your walk with God and rebuilding your relationships with
others. Joseph’s life shows us how we can avoid life’s pitfalls.
1. The
Pitfall of Betrayal, Temptation, Injustice, Hard
Times, Bitterness, Guilt & Grudges
The
Point: God is at work, even when it’s not obvious.
The
Passages: Genesis 37:1-5,19-24, 26-27
What
makes a betrayal so devastating?
· Most
everyone has been hurt — inadvertently if not intentionally — by a person close
to them — someone they trusted. In fact, you can’t be betrayed by someone you
didn’t trust; that is what makes it hurt so much. The consequences of betrayal
can greatly affect our families, jobs, or personal well-being.
Most
people who have attended Sunday School from childhood have heard the story of
Joseph, his “coat of many colors” and his dreams that were so irritating to his
brothers. However, the story is about much more than a young boy with a
colorful coat and mean brothers. It is a story of faith that God is at work
even when we don’t see it.
The
full narrative is the longest in Genesis, covering chapters 37-50. In the
stories about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob we see men of faith engaged in ongoing
dialog with the Lord God in which He called for their trust and commitment to
Him in a covenant relationship; however, the biblical writer included no such
conversations between God and Joseph in the Joseph narrative. Nevertheless,
Joseph frequently affirmed his awareness of the Lord’s presence and activity.
In this
session, we will be introduced to the dysfunction that characterized Joseph’s
family and the way that dysfunction appeared to disrupt the course of Joseph’s
life. But God was at work all along to complete the life destination He had
planned for Joseph — a plan not only good for Joseph but for all who would come
under his influence in what would be incredible circumstances.
Abraham’s Sons: Ishmael – (12 Sons – Arab Nation)
Isaac – (2 Sons –
Jacob and Esau)
Jacob – Leah – Rachel – Bilhah – Zilpah
Jacob’s
12 Sons and Their Notable Descendants
Reuben – none / Simeon – none / Levi – Aaron, Moses,
Eli, John the Baptist
Judah – David, Jesus / Dan – Samson / Naphtali –
Barak, Elijah (?)
Gad –
Jephthah (?) / Asher – none / Issachar – none / Zebulun – none
Joseph – Joshua, Gideon, Samuel / Benjamin – Saul,
Esther, Paul
Genesis
37:1-5
1
Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan. 2 This
is the account of Jacob’s family line. Joseph, a young
man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah,
his father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad
report about them. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph
more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his
old age; and he made an ornate robe for him. 4
When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they
hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. 5 Joseph
had a dream, and when he told it to his
brothers, they hated him all the more.
What
might have been the causes of conflict between Joseph and his brothers? Was
hatred a cause or the result of the conflict? What responsibility did Joseph
bear for the situation?
What
provokes envy in families or relationships today?
1.
It may not be your fault.
· Favoritism,
envy, and resentment among members of any group can lead to hatred. Favoritism,
hatred, and envy defined the family of Jacob.
· Individuals
who perceive themselves to be in a favored position need to evaluate their
attitudes to avoid being perceived as self-righteous or egotistical.
A. The
first betrayal in this passage is Joseph’s betrayal of his brothers (v. 2). Was
he was a snitch?
B. The
second betrayal is Jacob’s betrayal of his sons by playing favorites.
Unfortunately, Jacob was perpetuating what he experienced as a child (Gen.
25:28). Every child is different, and parents must respond to each personality
uniquely. Jacob’s love for Joseph more than his other sons was a betrayal of
his responsibility as a parent to love his children equally (the same) and
treat them equitably (impartially).
C. The
third and most obvious betrayal is by Joseph’s brothers. Joseph’s brothers
already hated him because his father loved him more, but their hatred grew
because of his dreams (vv. 4-8).
Could
jealousy ever make you feel like killing someone?
Genesis
37:19-24
19
“Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. 20 “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these
cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then
we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” 21 When Reuben
heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,”
he said. 22 “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the
wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from
them and take him back to his father. 23 So when Joseph came to his brothers,
they stripped him of his robe — the ornate robe he was wearing — 24 and they
took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no
water in it.
Could
jealousy ever make you feel like killing someone?
Ten
men were willing to kill their younger brother over a robe and a few reported
dreams. Jealousy grew to rage – completely blinding what was right. Jealousy
can be difficult to recognize because our reasons for it seem to make sense.
Initially,
how did the brothers propose to get rid of Joseph? What intercessory role did
Reuben play? What was his plan?
How
can we identify bitterness and jealousy in our own hearts?
2.
The peril of animosity and jealousy.
· One
evil action leads to another.
· Even
the voice of the minority can make a difference to someone in need.
· Sometimes
it may seem evil has won, but the end has not yet come.
· We do
not always know how and when God is at work, but we can be sure He is.
What
was really happening here? The root of bitterness reaped the fruit of
bitterness. Jesus said: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored
up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up
in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:45). Our
speech is a sign of what’s happening deep within us. Envy poisons, and we see
that clearly in Joseph’s toxic brothers. We are wise to check our own hearts.
It’s a convicting exercise to pause and consider the people we are tempted to
envy in our current season of life. Envy happens throughout the world, and
unfortunately, we can also find it within the body of Christ.
As
important as it is to consider if envy resides in our hearts, it’s also wise to
consider if we have caused envy in the hearts of others. Maybe they compare
themselves with you and feel God has done more or given more to you. Has God
given you success in some area of your life? Do you have a wonderful,
harmonious marriage? Do you have well-behaved children? Do you have a
high-profile career? If the Lord has blessed you in some obvious way, a good
chance exists that others are tempted to envy and even resent you for it.
The
struggle with envy is real. At some point, we may cave to this temptation and
secretly resent God for giving to others what we want for ourselves. To guard
against this, we must put on the mind of Christ. “Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the
others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ
Jesus” (Phil. 2:3-5).
Genesis
37:26-27
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we
kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s
sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay
our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His
brothers agreed.
Who
was Judah and what alternative proposal did he present to his brothers
concerning Joseph? Who were the Ishmaelites?
What
options do we have when we’ve been betrayed? What biblical truths can we cling
to in times of betrayal?
3.
God is still at work.
· Conflict
can disrupt relationships and our course in life.
· The
evil in the heart is the source of evil action.
· Take
pause before thinking that the evil designs of men will bring a halt to the
working of God.
Though
Joseph’s story seemed to be coming to a screeching halt in a pit, God had other
plans. The brothers “called an audible” and made a last-minute decision to sell
him into slavery instead of leaving him in the pit to die. Their last-minute
decision would impact their family—and ultimately the entire nation of
Israel—in ways they could not imagine. Years later, Joseph would utter one of
the greatest lines in ancient literature. He would look those guilt-weary men
in the eyes and say, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to
accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Gen. 50:20). It
was a masterful plan from the Master.
While
Joseph surely must have felt like God had given up on him at that time, God was
planning to raise him up to a high seat of power. God is always up to something
bigger than we can see. Even when others count us out, He is counting us in. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers and sold “for twenty
shekels of silver” (v. 28). Sounds similar to what happened to Jesus. Many scholars make the point that Joseph’s story is a
foreshadowing of the greatest story. The similarities are striking. He
was the treasured son of his father, sent off to
a land to check on his brothers, and sold for pieces of
silver. Even more: through his unjust suffering, he became the savior of his people and ruler over them.
It’s a fascinating way to think about it. Even in the Old Testament, God was
pointing to what He would do through His Son to seek and to save the lost.
“In
their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
PROVERBS
16:9
Live
It Out
Ultimately, the story of Joseph is about God using the mundane,
everyday events of life to bring about His grand purpose. Unlike the story of
Moses, no miraculous, show-stopping miracles would occur in Joseph’s life. God
was at work, even when it wasn’t obvious. And that’s how life normally works.
Joseph
experienced much suffering in life. Being sold as a slave was bad enough, but
Joseph would face more setbacks. God was still at work, however, and He is at
work in our lives too. When we are in those moments when life seems to have
come to a stop, remember the life of Joseph. God’s hand might not be obvious at
the time, but He is at work. Life will deal us our share of disappointments,
but the key is to keep moving forward and trusting Christ.
Few
things are more painful than the anguish and hurt that result from being
betrayed by someone from whom we least expect it. Such an occurrence may cause
us to wonder just whom we can trust. If not managed carefully, such an
experience could lead to bitterness and skepticism. And we may wonder about God
too. How could He allow such a thing to happen to us when we had done no wrong?
We are
left only to imagine how Joseph felt or responded to the actions of his
brothers against him. We will learn more as the story moves forward. Neither do
we know how Joseph felt about the Lord. We do have the advantage of knowing
that God was at work even in this difficult time in Joseph’s life. Later,
Joseph would come to understand that more clearly. Perhaps our knowing that
about Joseph encourages us to remember that He will do the same for us during
our difficult times.
As you
recall some troublesome times in your life, in what ways did you contribute to
the situation and how did the animosity and jealousy of others add to the
situation?
As you
look back on that situation, how do you now see that God worked even in ways
you did not realize?
In
difficult times how does believing the Lord is with you help you to endure?
What
is a life lesson you have learned from this initial portion of Joseph’s story?
Who
were the Ishmaelites?
Simply
put, the Ishmaelites were the descendants of Ishmael, the son of Abram by his
wife’s handmaiden, Hagar (Genesis 16:1–12). From small beginnings, the
Ishmaelites became a numerous and mighty people.
The
origin of the Ishmaelites was fraught with difficulty. When Sarai was unable to
produce a child with Abram, she followed the common cultural practice and gave
Hagar to him, and Hagar conceived his child. But Sarai later became jealous and
mistreated Hagar, who fled from her mistress into the wilderness. There Hagar
met the Angel of the Lord who pronounced the first of three prophecies
concerning the child she was bearing. She would give birth to a son, and his
descendants would multiply greatly. It was at this time that God told Hagar to
name him Ishmael, which means “God hears” (Genesis 16:10–11).
In the
wilderness the Angel of the Lord also predicted that Ishmael—and therefore the Ishmaelites—would
be stubborn, untamable, and warlike: “He will be a wild donkey of a man; /
his hand will be against everyone / and everyone’s hand against him, / and he
will live in hostility / toward all his brothers” (Genesis 16:12). After
hearing the angel’s words, Hagar returned to her mistress and eventually gave
birth to Ishmael.
Later,
God changed the names of Sarai and Abram to Sarah and Abraham and established a
covenant with Abraham’s son Isaac. But Ishmael also had a promise from God: he
would be blessed, too, and he would be the father of a great nation,
beginning with twelve sons, the first of the Ishmaelites (Genesis
17:20). The names of the twelve are listed in Genesis 25:12–16; it is from the
Ishmaelites that the Arab nations descended.
Ishmael
was about fourteen years old when Isaac was born. A year or a few later, when
Isaac was weaned, Sarah saw Ishmael mocking her son. Sarah asked Abraham to
send Hagar and Ishmael away, and God told Abraham to comply. The Angel of God
met Hagar and her son once again and predicted for the third time that Ishmael
would father a great nation (Genesis 21:18).
Later
in Israel’s history, the Ishmaelites were also called Midianites (although not
all Midianites were descendants of Ishmael), and they engaged in the buying and
selling of slaves (Genesis 37:28; 39:1). Judges 8:24 tells us that it was a
custom for the Ishmaelites to wear gold earrings.
During
the reign of King David, the Ishmaelites joined a confederacy against God and
against His people, Israel (Psalm 83:5–6). Their goal was to “destroy them as a
nation, / so that Israel’s name is remembered no more” (verse 4). Considering
the current turmoil in the Middle East and the hatred often directed against
Israel by her neighbors, the prophecies concerning the descendants of Ishmael
continue to prove true.
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