Class Lesson August 28, 2011

 

Hey Gang,

This is our last lesson on ways believers are to relate to one another. The world teaches us to always look out for number one, why, because we live in a selfish world. But the Bible teaches something completely different, it says that the Christian life involves how we relate to one another and the fulfillment of certain reciprocal responsibilities. Many of these responsibilities are found in the "one another" commands of the New Testament - we have discussed what it means to Love One Another, to Forgive One Another, Not to Criticize One Another, and this week we end with Let's Agree with One Another.

Family arguments are not uncommon even within loving families. How we handle the conflict is a matter of choice and the topic of today’s lesson.

Conflict Resolution in "The Office"

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In the 4,000 years of world history, the world has only been at peace 7% of the time - that's 286 years. There are 8,000 known treaties that were signed and broken. Many of the wars were waged in the name of God, the church, the Holy Roman Empire, the crusades, Germany's two world wars. Why is the world filled with so much conflict?

 

Quarrels and conflict are part of the experience in every family.

 

Nations - Families - Churches

 

 

Conflict takes place even within the family of faith. This happened between a pastor and his music director. The friction was so great that it spilled out into the worship service. One Sunday the pastor preached on total commitment to the Lord, and the music minister followed with the congregation singing, “I shall not be moved.” The next Sunday the pastor preached on giving and how God’s people should give generously to the Lord. The disgruntled music leader followed with the congregation singing “Jesus Paid it All.” The following Sunday the pastor preached on gossiping and the need to control the tongue, and the music leader followed with “I Love to Tell the Story.” At this point the pastor was frustrated and he told the church that he was considering resigning next Sunday. The music leader then led the song “Oh, Why not Tonight.” The next Sunday the pastor stood in the pulpit and said, “Jesus led me to this church and it is Jesus who is leading me away.” The song leader led the song, “What a Friend we have in Jesus.” 

 

 

How do you deal with conflict in your family?

 

1. Believers should seek to resolve conflict. Abram took the initiative to resolve the conflict with Lot. Abram could have said, “Now, look here, Lot, this land belongs to me. God has promised it to me, not to you. You’ll simply have to move on.” Instead, he surrendered his personal rights and sacrificed his interests. Likewise, it is our responsibility to surrender our personal rights. The Bible is clear; when there is a conflict with a brother or sister we should take the initiative. The life of faith involves learning to live with brothers and sisters. With that said, there are times when brothers and sisters must separate for the sake of peace. This side of heaven, believers will not always see eye-to-eye. Therefore, there are occasions where a parting of ways is appropriate. For example, in a local church, if there are strong preferences or opinions that cannot be resolved, it can be appropriate for a member to depart for the sake of harmony. We must be “diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace”
2. Believers should exhibit tenderness. Abram’s words to Lot were explicitly tender. Twice Abram says, “Please” (lit. “I pray you.”). He then appealed to their kinship—“for we are brothers.” He diffused any anger or defensiveness that Lot may have had and he refused to argue. Now you cannot have a fight if one person refuses to be party to it. It takes two to tangle.
3. Believers should wait on God. When confronted with worrying circumstances that seemed to be clamoring for his immediate action, Abram’s first reaction was to do nothing. He simply waited. He was confident that God would soon make His way clear. On this occasion, Abram refused to take matters into his own hands. Instead, he left his circumstances in God’s capable hands.

How can you be the bigger person in a disagreement that you’re in right now?

1. Take the initiative in resolving the conflict.
2. Let others have first choice, even if that means not getting what you want.
3. Put family peace above personal desires.

How could Abram be so generous to let Lot choose?

•  He put his total trust in God.
• He believed that God would take care of him.

Paul wants to know, ...

III. ARE YOU A PEACEMAKER? – ROMANS 12:16-18; 15:5-6


Be in agreement with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Try to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes. If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.


Now may the God of endurance and encouragement grant you agreement with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with a united mind and voice.


How does conflict among Christians help the message of Christ?

• The Bible teaches that we should see conflict neither as an inconvenience nor as an occasion for selfish gain, but rather as an opportunity to demonstrate the presence and power of God.

 

Opportunities to glorify God – by living in peace, by trusting in the Lord and doing good, by being an example of Christ, by showing others God’s love.
 
Get the Log out of Your Eye – ask yourself, is this really worth fighting over? When we look at our hearts, we may find a reason to seek peace.
 
Restoration is a powerful witness – how many conflicts could have been restored if the conflict had remained just between the two of you? Always speak the truth in love.
 
Go and be reconciled – Forgive as God has forgiven you, look also to the interests of others, overcome evil with good.





The story has it that during the civil wars the north and the south were camped out on opposite sides of the Potomac River. The Union soldiers would play a patriotic tune that was dear to their heart. In response, the Confederate soldiers would play a patriotic tune dear to southerner’s hearts. Then one of the bands started to play the tune “Home, Sweet, Home.” The other side stopped its musical composition and joined in with the melody. Soon after that you could hear voices from both sides singing “There is no place like home.”
Though division was among the Union and Confederate soldiers, the song reminded them that their home was the same home and their destiny was the same destiny. The members of the family of God must remember that as brothers and sister we have the same destiny, the same home, and therefore we must desire a peaceful resolution when conflict arises within the family of faith.



Are you a peacemaker?



As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict. We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ.

I hope everyone has had a blessed week as we bring this series of One Anothering lessons to a close.

Remember our Ice Cream Social is Sunday Evening at 7PM!

See you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan

Class Lesson August 21, 2011

Hey Gang,

We are continuing in our series on ways believers are to relate to one another. The world teaches us to always look out for number one, why, because we live in a selfish world. But the Bible teaches something completely different, it says that the Christian life involves how we relate to one another and the fulfillment of certain reciprocal responsibilities. Many of these responsibilities are found in the "one another" commands of the New Testament - the first was to Love One Another, the second was to Forgive One Another and this week we are told Don't Criticize One Another.

What is something you wish you could hear from the person it would mean the most hearing it from?

Think about it: ___________

The “words” we choose to use to communicate is one of the most important aspects of learning to relate to one another in love. The Bible tells us that what is in our hearts will come out through our words.

WORDS

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When a person is unconscious, we listen first for their breathing. We wait for their eyes to open; then we listen for what? Words, we listen for them to speak, why? Because words can mean life!



When you want to tell your spouse how much you love them, does it matter what words you use?



When you want to comfort someone, does it matter what and how you choose your words?



When you want to correct someone, family, friend or not, does it matter how you say what you say?

POWER OF WORDS!     -    MOTIVE    -     POWER OF RESULT! 

Do you ever find yourself thinking any of these thoughts?

1. I am way too critical in my attitudes and speech.

2. I know gossip is wrong, but I get caught up in it anyway.

3. I tend to get impatient with other Christians who don’t have their act together.

4. Sometimes it’s easier to criticize than to encourage. 

Don't we respect some people for being able to criticize constructively?

The X - Factor 

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In our lesson this morning, James is addressing people that criticized one another and Paul addressed people that argued and complained over "doubtful issues."


I. THE PROBLEM WITH CRITICISM – JAMES 4:11-12

Don't criticize one another, brothers. He who criticizes a brother or judges his brother criticizes the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?


Name ways that we exchange words today to one another.

• Face-to-face, telephone, cell phone, email, twitter, Facebook, instant messaging...

Why do people criticize others?

• Low self esteem, way they were raised, jealousy, projection of the way they are themselves.

What is the problem with criticism? What is the dangerous progression we engage in when we choose to criticize others?

• We become a judge over another.
• When we criticize another, we criticize the law - Jesus summarized the law by saying that we are to love God and love others. Paul would later say in Romans that when we love others, we satisfy the whole law. When we fail to love others we breaks God's law.

Does the command to not criticize and judge mean we can’t say an action is wrong? How can we exercise good judgment without being judgmental?

• The command refers to an attitude that looks for faults and says unkind things about others. It is not referring to exercising discernment.

In what ways are we to love someone whose behavior offends us?

• We can be merciful. James 2:3
• We can pray.
• We can find a practical way to serve or bless the person.
• We can avoid criticism.

Our role is not to judge, only God can and does accomplish this.


II. THE NEED FOR ACCEPTANCE – ROMANS 14:1-4

Accept anyone who is weak in faith, but don't argue about doubtful issues. One person believes he may eat anything, but one who is weak eats only vegetables. One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat; and one who does not eat must not criticize one who does, because God has accepted him. Who are you to criticize another's household slave? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And stand he will! For the Lord is able to make him stand.

In the Roman church, the doubtful issue was eating meat. We would probably consider it silly to be at a Roman church potluck and hear them criticizing one another for what they ate.


What are the doubtful issues we face today in the church? Would any of these seem silly to others?

• Dancing, movies we go see, drinking or not.

How has your stance on doubtful issues changed as you’ve matured? Do you feel you have become more or less accepting of people? More or less able to identify what’s worth focusing on? Why?


Acceptance includes affirming the legitimate faith in Christ that each one has professed and sharing in fellowship with them. Paul says that we are neither to ridicule nor condemn another over doubtful issues. The Lord will deal with His own servants in the way He sees fit.



III. THE GOAL OF EDIFICATION – ROMANS 14:5-12, 19

One person considers one day to be above another day. Someone else considers every day to be the same. Each one must be fully convinced in his own mind. Whoever observes the day, observes it to the Lord. Whoever eats, eats to the Lord, since he gives thanks to God; and whoever does not eat, it is to the Lord that he does not eat, yet he thanks God. For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and came to life for this: that He might rule over both the dead and the living. But you, why do you criticize your brother? Or you, why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written: As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to Me, and every tongue will give praise to God. So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.



Does it matter whether I worship on Saturday or Sunday?

• Paul is discussing the command to honor the Sabbath Day and keep it Holy.

Does it matter how I worship, when I worship?


What activities other than worship are appropriate? Are sports, yard work, and shopping permissible? 

• Paul's advice was that such matters should be decided between the believer and His Lord. It is a matter of motive and the believer showing devotion to the Lord.
• The Baptist Faith and Message states that "activities on the Lord's Day should be commensurate with the Christian's conscience under the Lordship of Jesus Christ."
• Don't argue over doubtful issues.

Is Paul saying we should let our conscience be our guide? Is an action okay because we’re convinced it’s okay?

• Let your conscience be guided by the Holy Spirit.

What did Paul want believers to do regardless of their stance on doubtful issues?

• Promote peace and build one another up.

YOUR GOAL THIS WEEK:

Our goal this week should be to let our words constantly reflect God’s love for us and our love for God as we love all the people with whom we come into contact.



Choose one of the following five kinds of loving communication to focus on during the coming week.

1. Kind … Words: Transform worry to joy.

2. Gentle … Words: Break through anger.

3. Pleasant … Words: Encourage learning.

4. Honest … Words: Make us feel loved.

5. Wise … Words: Heal broken hearts.


Emily Dickinson once said, "Words are my life!"




When you speak, when you relate to one another - do it in love!

Prayer of Commitment

Lord, help me to speak Your truth in love. Amen

I hope everyone has had a blessed week as we continue in our study of how we are to relate to one another. 

See you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan

Class Lesson August 14, 2011

Hey Gang,

We began a new series last week on ways believers are to relate to one another. We live in a selfish world. Society promotes individualism and encourages us to always look out for number one. But the Bible teaches something completely different, it says that the Christian life involves community and the fulfillment of certain reciprocal responsibilities toward one another. Many of these responsibilities are found in the "one another" commands of the New Testament - the first was to Love One Another and this week we examine what it means to Forgive One Another.

Are we expected to forgive in all circumstances?

Home plate umpire Jim Joyce, left, shakes hands with Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga. 

Forgiveness at the Game

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Forgiveness at the Shack

Many of you have read this fictional Christian book

Papa says, “I want to take away one more thing that darkens your heart.” Mack must forgive the man who killed his daughter, about whom Mack had earlier said “damn him to hell, if I can’t get justice, I still want revenge.”


Papa’s response is this, “Mack, for you to forgive this man is for you to release him to Me and allow Me to redeem him.” 

The title of the book is a metaphor for "the house you build out of your own pain, the places you get stuck, you get hurt, you get damaged - the thing where shame or hurt is centered."

Forgiveness at the Past

During World War II, Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsie suffered confinement in Ravensbruck, a German prison camp, for sheltering Jews in Holland from Nazi persecutors. Corrie and Betsie endured the deplorable conditions of undernourishment and disease and harsh treatment by cruel Nazi guards. Betsie became one of thousands to die in the prison. 

Corrie survived her imprisonment and returned home. Following the war, she visited Germany to tell the German people of God's great love for them in Christ. She also assured the German people of God's willingness to release them from their heavy load of guilt.

After she spoke in one church, a man approached and greeted her. She recognized him as one of the cruelest Ravensbruck guards. He did not recognize her. He acknowledged to her that he had worked in Ravensbruck and that since the war, he had become a Christian. He said that he was assured of God's forgiveness but that he hoped to receive hers as well. He asked her directly to forgive him and extended his hand to her. The man's wrongs against her and Betsie pressed hard upon her. It was all Corrie could do in sending up an urgent prayer confessing that she lacked any feelings of forgiveness. She told God that she would extend her hand in an act of her will and trust Him to supply the sincerity. As she extended her arm, she felt the power and love of God in her shoulder, arm, and hand. She clasped the man's hand warmly and told him that she forgave him from the heart!

How are we to forgive?

I. CHRIST IS THE EXAMPLE – COLOSSIANS 3:12-13

Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must [forgive].



When you’re the one who’s been hurt by someone, what are you suppose to do? What is your understanding of forgiveness?

Matthew 6:12-15; 18:21; Mark 11:25; Luke 6:37; 11:4; 17:3-4; John 20:23; Ephesians 4:32

What advice would you give to these two common statements?

1. “There are some people I just can’t forgive”




2. “There are some things I just can’t forgive”

Are we supposed to forgive a person who is unrepentant of their sin? Where in the Bible does the term forgiveness ever apply to an unrepentant person?

Luke 17:3-4; Matthew 18:15-20; Matthew 5:21-24; 1 Corinthians 5:1-9; Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27; Luke 6:35; Romans 12:19-20

Question: If you forgive someone without repentance, what is the need or purpose of repentance? Is this not an example of cheap grace?

Divine Forgiveness & Horizontal Forgiveness --- Unconditional?

Forgiving someone does not excuse their actions, but it does release them from our judgment into the hands of God Who will handle justice in His time. Forgiveness means that we are no longer vindictive, seeking to do the other harm. 

What if our forgiveness doesn’t lead to reconciliation?

• Forgiveness is not reconciliation. It only takes one to forgive, but it takes two to reconcile. Forgiveness is something that happens in our souls without respect to who the offender is, what they have done, or how they feel about what they have done. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves by the power of the Spirit who enables us to exercise the love of God in our own hearts. To forgive is to be free. To forgive is to be like God and share His love.

What Should Forgiveness Look Like

Here is forgiveness: when you feel that someone is your enemy or when you simply feel that you or someone you care about has been wronged, forgiveness means:



1. You resist thoughts of revenge. (Romans 12:19)

2. You don’t return evil for evil. (1 Thessalonians 5:15)

3. You wish them well. (Luke 6:28)

4. You grieve at their calamities. (Proverbs 24:17)

5. You pray for their welfare. (Matthew 5:44)

6. You seek reconciliation so far as it depends on you. (Romans 12:18)

7. You come to their aid in distress. (Exodus 23:4) 

A Son Forgives His Father in Prison

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A video about forgiveness with Mary Karen Read's last words in her journal entry before her death at the Virginia tech shooting.



Jesus said, "It's more blessed to Give than to Receive"

My conclusion to whether it's a biblical command to forgive unconditional and/or is it a good idea from a psychological perspective:

1. Willingness to forgive is a universal command for Christians.
2. Ridding ourselves of bitterness, anger, and resentment is an unqualified command as well. 
3. Apologizing is not required for true forgiveness, but apologizing and repenting are necessary for reconciliation. 
4. Forgiveness is both an event (a decision) and a process.
5. Releasing the pain to God and leaning on Him for healing the hurt is critical.
6. Radical forgiveness demonstrates God's love. 

Prayer of Commitment
Lord, help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me. Amen. 

I hope that you have had a blessed week and that you will be preparing to join us this Sunday as we continue in our One Anothering series. This is a personally challenging lesson this week and I'm praying for spiritual understanding. 

Have a great week and we'll see you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan

Class Lesson August 7, 2011

Hey Gang,

We begin a new series this week on ways believers are to relate to one another. Now, we all know that we live in a selfish world. Our society promotes individualism and encourages us to always look out for number one. But the Bible teaches something completely different, it says that the Christian life involves community and the fulfillment of certain reciprocal responsibilities toward one another. Many of these responsibilities are found in the "one another" commands of the New Testament - the first is to Love One Another.

Rob Bell Video - Bullhorn 

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The Beatles

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Remember the movie, Love Story? What was the famous line, "love means never having to say you're sorry." What was that suppose to mean? There are some mixed up ideas out there about what love really is.

Jesus summarized the entire Bible in two principles:

Loving God and Loving Others.


The common word here is to LOVE, you see to God, Love Matter Most!

Is Love all you need? Did the Beatles have it right?

The answer here depends entirely on "What Kind of Love" the Beatles sang about. Many people don't believe they sang about the love of God. Galatians 5:6 says, "If you are a follower of Jesus Christ ... all that matters is your faith that makes you Love Others!" If you read the beginning verses of 1 Corinthians chapter 13, it says that If I don't live a life of love, then nothing I say will matter, nothing I know will matter, nothing I believe will matter, nothing I give will matter, and nothing I accomplish will matter. We are talking here about a kind of love that isn't an emotion or feeling, it's a choice you make, an action you take, a skill you learn, and a habit you practice. It's a kind of love that can only come from God. It's an Agape type of love! The kind of love that Jesus showed you and me.

I. LOVE LIKE JESUS LOVES – JOHN 13:34-35

"I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."


Admit it . . . some people are especially hard to love. We all know who they are. They’re the difficult people who drive you crazy by being irresponsible, rude, or socially deficient. They are the demanding ones that are pushy, obsessive, and stubborn. Some people have simply disappointed you, let you down, and proven to be unreliable or even disloyal.


God says we are to love these people too, but how? - As Jesus loved us!



What makes this a new commandment?





1. Accept Others like Jesus Accepts Me (Romans 15:7)





2. Value Others like Jesus Values Me


Try to calculate the value of just one person. We talked about Satan coming to you and offering you anything you wanted - name your price, for the soul of someone you dearly love. Satan promises you all the money you could want, power, prestige, fame and he'll throw in personal happiness - would you do it? Of course you wouldn't, but what if Satan said, okay, lets change the terms. I'll make it easier for you. All I'll ask is for your okay to take the soul of someone you don't even know. I'll still give you the money, power, and fame - would you do it? 

II. DO RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT – 1 JOHN 3:10b-12, 16-18

Whoever does not do what is right is not of God, especially the one who does not love his brother. For this is the message you have heard from the beginning: we should love one another, unlike Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil, and his brother's were righteous.


This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has this world's goods and sees his brother in need but shuts off his compassion from him—how can God's love reside in him? Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but in deed and truth;

How might Christians make it appear they’re obeying Jesus’ command to love one another without really obeying? How does John not let us get away with that?

• Showing love shows we belong to God. Neglecting to show love shows we belong to someone else. Showing love is the first way to do what is right.

 
How do we shut off our compassion?

• Inaction can also demonstrate a lack of love. Love requires more than word or speech.

III. SHOW LOVE IN ACTION – 1 JOHN 4:7-13, 19

Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. God's love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another. No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God remains in us and His love is perfected in us. This is how we know that we remain in Him and He in us: He has given to us from His Spirit.


We love because He first loved us.



1. The best use of life is Love



What is the difference between saying, “God loves,” and, “God is love”? Since God is love, is all love of God? 

• Any feeling and demonstration of genuine love comes from God. He initiated it, created it, demonstrated it, and implants the desire and power to love within a believers' heart.

How did God comply with His own requirement to love not just in word but in action?

• For God so love the world that He gave...

In what ways do we love that shows our love for God? What are some practical ways to love that can be identified by others as Christ-centered?

• When we reach out to help someone in need.
• A listening ear, sharing God's Word, encouraging someone, supporting, understanding, being a friend, praying for someone, showing grace, mercy, comfort and care. 

2. The best expression of love is spelled: T  I  M  E .

• There is no replacement for time when it comes to loving God and others. It requires personal sacrifices, but will have eternal rewards. They are more important than wealth or power. Relationships are everything in life.

3. The best time to love is Now. (Galatians 6:10)



According to church tradition, when the apostle John was so old that he had to be carried into the church to speak, he would often say just one thing, "Little children, love one another." The early believers, wanting to hear new instruction, asked John why he kept teaching them the same thing. The apostle replied, "It is the Lord's command, and you see, "This Kind of Love" if done right - is all you need!

This Kind of Love 

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Think of one or more believers with whom you struggle to have a good relationship. How can you show love to them even if you don’t necessarily feel love?




Think of a family member you adore. How can you show love to them even more intentionally than you have been doing?

Prayer of Commitment

Lord, help me love my brothers and sisters in You. Amen.

 

I hope everyone has had a blessed week and that you are prayerfully preparing yourselves for this week's lesson. There are some mixed up ideas in our society about love and what it truly is. Jesus gave us the command to "love one another" three times in John's Gospel. In all three cases, Jesus was speaking to His disciples while they were gathered together. By extension, "one another" applies to all who are Jesus' disciples today, especially in the context of local churches where we actually gather as disciples. Although we are to show love to all people, we have a special responsibility to show love to one another within the church.

Have a blessed rest of the week and I'll see you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan