THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
It was the email I regret sending. I was seething. After a meeting where I felt my opinions were not taken seriously, I fired off an angry email to a coworker. I blasted him for what I considered to be rude behavior and demanded that he apologize. I didn’t seek out advice, nor did I review my words to make sure they were appropriate. I didn’t even pray before hitting “send.”
Thankfully, the recipient of my bitter missive was far more gracious than I was, and we cleared up our differences for the most part. But the email sowed stress in our relationship that never fully recovered. Even now, years later, I cringe at the memory of sending that email in the heat of the moment.
Esther faced a far more serious injustice than hurt feelings. We learn from her careful, deliberate process that fighting injustice takes wisdom, patience, and humility. Grace-filled approaches build bridges that can lead to change, but hasty moves almost always lead to worse outcomes.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Esther 5:1-8
1 On the third day, Esther dressed in her royal clothing and stood in the inner courtyard of the palace facing it. The king was sitting on his royal throne in the royal courtroom, facing its entrance. 2 As soon as the king saw Queen Esther standing in the courtyard, she gained favor in his eyes. The king extended the gold scepter in his hand toward Esther, and she approached and touched the tip of the scepter. 3 “What is it, Queen Esther?” the king asked her. “Whatever you want, even to half the kingdom, will be given to you.” 4 “If it pleases the king,” Esther replied, “may the king and Haman come today to the banquet I have prepared for them.” 5 The king said, “Hurry, and get Haman so we can do as Esther has requested.” So the king and Haman went to the banquet Esther had prepared. 6 While drinking the wine, the king asked Esther, “Whatever you ask will be given to you. Whatever you want, even to half the kingdom, will be done.” 7 Esther answered, “This is my petition and my request: 8 If I have found favor in the eyes of the king, and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and perform my request, may the king and Haman come to the banquet I will prepare for them. Tomorrow I will do what the king has asked.”
Esther made her decision. She would use whatever influence she had and approach the king about the impending genocide of her people. Esther was willing to risk her life, but she did not approach her task lightly. She and her people fasted for three days before she entered the king’s presence. (See Esth. 4:16-17.)
Even though he was her husband, King Ahasuerus was a ruthless despot; so approaching the king surely would have been intimidating even for Queen Esther. She showed wisdom in her approach and won over the most unlikely of converts with her humility. Perhaps she knew the wisdom of the proverb that speaks of the kind of skill that allows one to stand before kings. (See Prov. 22:29.)
In what ways did Esther's actions
demonstrate courage and humility?
Esther didn’t enter the king’s presence in sackcloth and ashes. She entered wearing her finest royal apparel, fit for the king. Perhaps Esther did this to remind Ahasuerus, who hadn’t seen his wife in thirty days, just how radiantly beautiful she was. Esther won over his heart and Ahasuerus granted her permission to enter his presence.
Esther could have asked the king, right then and there, to save Israel. But Esther chose to set the perfect conditions, when the king’s heart was in the right place to grant her request. Why? Esther knew the value of timing and relationship building. If she rushed her request, the opportunity for justice might be lost forever.
If any Jews in Susa knew what Esther was doing, they also might have questioned her actions. Why would she honor a man like Haman, who had authored their death warrant? How could she possibly honor a king who signed away their freedom? To the average Jewish person in fear of death, her actions might have even seemed offensive.
But Esther’s approach was a wise one. Jesus would later encourage His disciples to “be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves” (Matt. 10:16). Doing the right thing isn’t just about being right on the issues; it is about using our intellect and relational skills to achieve the maximum impact for good. It does not do our cause any good if we simply rage against evil without working to build relationships with people who can bring about change. This is true whether we are working for change in our families, churches, or communities.
We can stand up for others with the same humility as Esther. She didn’t insist on things being her way because she was queen. A Christian’s life calls for humility, but it’s not always easy. It’s easier to let our anger and pride lead the way when dealing with a problem.
Humility is a beautiful thing, and it works wonderfully when our actions demonstrate it toward others. Humility doesn’t back down, but it takes a stand with a Christ-likeness that makes a difference. As Solomon said, “A gentle answer turns away anger” (Prov. 15:1).
What are the biggest hurdles
we face when it come to nurturing
humility in our lives?
Esther 5:9-14
9 That day Haman left full of joy and in good spirits. But when Haman saw Mordecai at the King’s Gate, and Mordecai didn’t rise or tremble in fear at his presence, Haman was filled with rage toward Mordecai. 10 Yet Haman controlled himself and went home. He sent for his friends and his wife Zeresh to join him. 11 Then Haman described for them his glorious wealth and his many sons. He told them all how the king had honored him and promoted him in rank over the other officials and the royal staff. 12 “What’s more,” Haman added, “Queen Esther invited no one but me to join the king at the banquet she had prepared. I am invited again tomorrow to join her with the king. 13 Still, none of this satisfies me since I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the King’s Gate all the time.”
Haman presents quite a contrast to Esther’s humility. You can just feel the spring in Haman’s step as he bounded away from the palace. But then he walked past the King’s Gate and there sat Mordecai, refusing to show any respect to Haman. Haman’s excitement quickly changed to rage. In this moment, verse 10 records the only positive quality we see in Haman’s life: “Haman controlled himself.”
It’s important to stop and notice the continued courage of Mordecai, who still refused to stand or show fear before Haman; he didn’t even tremble in the official’s presence. Considering Haman’s obvious ruthlessness, surely everyone else in the palace was fearful of him.
Mordecai and Esther lived for something—and Someone—greater than themselves, but Haman was all about Haman. He wasn’t interested in using his exalted position in the Persian kingdom to serve people; he was only interested in his own power and honor. Haman lived to please himself.
Why is pride so dangerous?
Even at home with family and friends, Haman bragged on himself. Surely they had heard it all before, but Haman regaled them with the story of his newfound status and increased wealth. In Haman’s mind— and in the mind of his friends and family—these facts confirmed he was on the fast track going up in the kingdom of Persia. Today we might say, “Haman is kind of a big deal.”
But we see something terribly sad about Haman. Despite his wealth, power, and privilege, Haman was deeply unsatisfied. His self-worship was so pervasive that he could not find happiness until every last person acknowledged his greatness. Mordecai’s refusal to bow dominated Haman’s thoughts, like a pebble in his sandal. So much so that he would order gallows to be built to display his vengeance to all.
We like to think we have none of Haman inside us, but the sad truth is we all tend toward selfishness and narcissism. We are all hardwired with the desire to be noticed by others. Even introverts secretly cry, “LOOK AT ME!” It’s part of our old, sinful human nature to seek approval, power, wealth, and/or status.
We’ll see in the next session that Haman’s self-centered worldview was not only unsatisfying, it was disastrous. Haman presents a textbook case of the poisonous fruit of pride and bitterness; his pride eventually led to his own demise. As Solomon said, “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall” (Prov. 16:18).
Haman had no idea what was about to befall him. Just because justice seemed delayed, though, doesn’t mean it would be denied. God was at work.
We should learn from both examples: Esther’s humility and Haman’s pride. We should ask Jesus daily to remove any bitterness in our hearts, break down any tendencies toward pride and narcissism, and keep us humbly content in Him.
What are some helpful ways you've
encountered for dealing
with anger and pride?
LIVE IT OUT
Though pride seems to be our default in this broken world, humility is possible for believers. Choose one of the following suggestions:
- Reflect. Reflect on your own tendencies toward selfishness, bitterness, or the desire to seek power at others’ expense. Confess and give these sinful attitudes and actions to God. Trust Him and thank Him for His forgiveness.
- Review. Create a list of your current obligations and priorities, and evaluate how any of these might feed pride or self-centeredness. Prayerfully consider withdrawing from or eliminating anything that nurtures pride or narcissism.
- Reconcile. If pride in the past has caused a problem in a relationship or stirred up enmity toward another person, prayerfully consider moving toward reconciliation. Ask the Lord to help you forgive and/or ask for forgiveness.
We all have countless opportunities in a day to act rashly without considering others. Let’s do the better thing—the Christlike thing— and act with wisdom and humility.
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Teacher Notes:
Video: Esther – STAND WITH HUMILITY
We need to realize that God has placed us in a specific situation – working in a certain job, living in a particular location, or surrounded by different people – for a greater purpose: to point to Him and further His kingdom. Be ready to stand.
We can’t fix every injustice we see, but we are called to step in where we can. Christians have no excuse for not doing the right thing when the opportunity is right in front of them. Stand with conviction. Wherever we live, for whatever reason we think explains our being there, God may have been bringing any of us to the place where He can use us, to someone who needs us, and to a situation to which we can make a difference.
When we surrender to the Lord, we may discover that He has greater things in store for us than we ever conceived. Included may be the opportunity to stand against sin and injustice and lead a people to know the blessed joy of relief and deliverance God desires for them.
Lesson
In the summer of 1986, two ships collided in the Black Sea off the coast of Russia. Hundreds of passengers died as they were hurled into the icy waters below. News of the disaster was further darkened when an investigation revealed the cause of the accident. It wasn't a technology problem like radar malfunction--or even thick fog. The cause was human stubbornness. Each captain was aware of the other ship's presence nearby. Both could have steered clear, but according to news reports, neither captain wanted to give way to the other. Each was too proud to yield first. By the time they came to their senses, it was too late.
“Fight fire with fire” can actually be an effective tactic in putting out fires, but it is a lousy way to handle conflict. In fact, such tactics can worsen a situation. For example, we’ve heard stories of how road rage escalated between two people leading to loss of life. The Bible calls us to live with kindness and humility, even in dealing with conflict. Esther modeled such behavior in her plan to expose injustice. Humility ultimately wins the day.
Esther had requested a communal fast by all the Jews in Shusan. She sought affirmation and direction for how to proceed. She also would have been concerned that Ahasuerus’ heart would be softened to receive her without incident. These verses for this lesson pick up the story at that point. She approached the king unannounced, but he received her with delight. Esther invited the king and Haman to attend a banquet she had prepared for them. She delayed informing the king of her concern about the plan to exterminate the Jews, her own people. Instead, she invited the two men to another banquet the next day. Haman was elated to have been included in the invitations to dine alone with the king and queen. He boasted about it to his family and friends. One thing that still angered him was Mordecai’s refusal to give him honor. To help him deal with his anger, Haman’s wife and friends suggested he immediately take action to have Mordecai executed. This part of the overall story of Esther highlights the difference between her humble spirit and the arrogance and pride of Haman. Humility ultimately wins the day, a lesson Haman, his family, and friends would never learn.
I. Take the initiative to act with humility.
Esther 5:1-8
1 On the third day, Esther dressed in her royal clothing and stood in the inner courtyard of the palace facing it. The king was sitting on his royal throne in the royal courtroom, facing its entrance. 2 As soon as the king saw Queen Esther standing in the courtyard, she gained favor in his eyes. The king extended the gold scepter in his hand toward Esther, and she approached and touched the tip of the scepter. 3 “What is it, Queen Esther?” the king asked her. “Whatever you want, even to half the kingdom, will be given to you.” 4 “If it pleases the king,” Esther replied, “may the king and Haman come today to the banquet I have prepared for them.” 5 The king said, “Hurry, and get Haman so we can do as Esther has requested.” So the king and Haman went to the banquet Esther had prepared. 6 While drinking the wine, the king asked Esther, “Whatever you ask will be given to you. Whatever you want, even to half the kingdom, will be done.” 7 Esther answered, “This is my petition and my request: 8 If I have found favor in the eyes of the king, and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and perform my request, may the king and Haman come to the banquet I will prepare for them. Tomorrow I will do what the king has asked.”
In what ways did Esther display humility?
How did Esther show both wisdom and restraint?
When have you seen an act of humility diffuse a tense situation?
The actions Christians plan to take to challenge the authorities to address evil and injustice are to be developed after spending time with the Lord and discerning His direction. Christians have a responsibility to initiate action against evil and injustice. The Christian’s approach to confronting the injustices of this world is to be marked by humility and intentionality rather than arrogance and uncontrolled anger that make things worse instead of better. Christians are to show respect to the authorities even when disagreeing with their policies and goals. Christians can be direct in criticizing those with whom they disagree, but the criticism needs to be spoken in their presence rather than behind their backs.
1. Esther, A Paragon of Humility It is worth remembering the root of the word humility is humus, meaning dirt or soil. To humble ourselves does not mean we become dirt; instead, it means we get down on the earth, figuratively speaking. We recognize our place. Esther humbled herself. • She took the initiative. She had prayed and fasted for the situation at hand: the imminent slaughter of the Jews. Now was the time to act. Though it was not her time to approach the king, she knew she had to take that gamble. In humility, she correctly dressed and stood at a distance where the king could see her. • She waited for the invite. Though she was the queen, she understood the appropriate protocol and throne etiquette and her proper place. She did not barge into the king's presence. She waited for him to invite her in. It showed her respect for him and her understanding of Persian ways. • She approached with caution. The king could have had her killed for it wasn't her time to enter his presence. She was cautious and careful. Would he lower the golden scepter for her to touch it? (A sign of his favor.) He did. She had won his approval. • She asked for a meeting. Esther planned to change the setting, the environment, to gain a more favorable opportunity to make her request. She wanted to feed the two men—King Ahasuerus and Haman—who held in their hands the strings of the Jewish people. Haman proposed the killing; the king signed it into law. Once at the banquet, the king let Esther know that he would grant her request. • She created greater curiosity by postponing her request. Esther did not make her appeal at this banquet; instead, she invited them both back the next day. It was a masterful ploy, heightening the suspense, appealing to their inquisitiveness. Like Esther, we need to display the virtue of humility today. The message of humility is: if we want to be great, then we must go down, we must lower ourselves. Humility is not self-hatred or lack of self-confidence. Neither does it imply that a person becomes the proverbial doormat, allowing everyone they encounter to walk all over them. Nor does a humble person look down on themselves or their abilities. Furthermore, humility is not a call to mediocrity and a substandard quality of life. Humility, as evidenced by Esther, is thinking accurate and realistic thoughts about God and ourselves. While God is not mentioned in this book, one gets the sense that Esther knew who she was and she knew who God was. As she lowered herself, God was working in a way that would raise her up (and her people.)
Esther’s approach was a wise one. Jesus would later encourage His disciples to “be as shrewd as serpents and as innocent as doves” (Matt. 10:16). Doing the right thing isn’t just about being right on the issues; it is about using our intellect and relational skills to achieve the maximum impact for good. It does not do our cause any good if we simply rage against evil without working to build relationships with people who can bring about change. This is true whether we are working for change in our families, churches, or communities.
We can stand up for others with the same humility as Esther. She didn’t insist on things being her way because she was queen. A Christian’s life calls for humility, but it’s not always easy. It’s easier to let our anger and pride lead the way when dealing with a problem.
Humility is a beautiful thing, and it works wonderfully when our actions demonstrate it toward others. Humility doesn’t back down, but it takes a stand with a Christ-likeness that makes a difference. As Solomon said, “A gentle answer turns away anger” (Prov. 15:1).
II. Pride brings no satisfaction.
Esther 5:9-14
9 That day Haman left full of joy and in good spirits. But when Haman saw Mordecai at the King’s Gate, and Mordecai didn’t rise or tremble in fear at his presence, Haman was filled with rage toward Mordecai. 10 Yet Haman controlled himself and went home. He sent for his friends and his wife Zeresh to join him. 11 Then Haman described for them his glorious wealth and his many sons. He told them all how the king had honored him and promoted him in rank over the other officials and the royal staff. 12 “What’s more,” Haman added, “Queen Esther invited no one but me to join the king at the banquet she had prepared. I am invited again tomorrow to join her with the king. 13 Still, none of this satisfies me since I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the King’s Gate all the time.”
What does this passage reveal about wealth, power, and happiness?
How have you seen pride damage your relationship with God or others?
In what ways does pride blind us to reality?
For many people happiness and the joy of living is completely dependent on favorable life circumstances. While we can be pleased over our accomplishments and rejoice over the good things that come to us, they are not to become a source of personal pride that skews our ability to think clearly and act responsibly. Pride come before the fall (Prov. 16:18), so be careful! We are wise to seek the support and counsel of friends, but we still need to evaluate their advice not by what makes us feel better but by what is right.
2. Haman, A Bastion of Pride Standing in sharp contrasts to Esther’s lowly posture was Haman, the prideful and arrogant second in command to the king. The Greeks called this arrogance hubris; the Bible calls it pride. It is exaggerating our worth and power, overrating our superiority, and possessing unreasonable conceit. Its synonyms are vanity, conceit, arrogance, egotism, boastfulness, and selfishness. It has been recognized since ancient times to be a root of cruelty and evil. It produces high-blown, stiff-necked, puffed-up, and stuck-up people. Haman was the poster child of pride. • He was consumed with hate. He experienced momentary joy when leaving Esther's banquet. But his happiness was short-lived when he saw Mordecai. His prejudice bubbled to the forefront, and it spewed over in wrath and anger. Anger is the quintessential personal emotion; nothing will reveal one's heart quicker than one's anger. For Haman, it was his hatred of the Jewish people, especially Mordecai who would not fall at his feet in pretentious worship. • He bragged about his exploits. Haman called all of his friends over to have another party. While there all he boasted about was his wealth, his children (a sign of blessing), his promotion, and his advancement. Haman was intoxicated by his little world of me, myself, and mine. • He was elated about his inclusion. Since the Queen had only invited him and the king to her banquet, he couldn’t keep quiet about it. He was the ultimate name dropper. Can’t you hear him say, “I’ve been to the queen’s house. I’ve had dinner with the king and the queen.” He rubbed it into his friend’s face. He thought he was special. He thought he was the queen’s favorite. And, not just one dinner; he was invited to return to the palace. • He sought revenge. As elated as he was for his invitation and his presence with the king and queen, he couldn't escape the fact that Mordecai was still alive. He wanted him dead! The sooner, the better. In fact, his wife suggested that he build gallows—a high one to match Haman’s ego—to impale Mordecai. • He was presumptuous. We know the outcome of this story, Haman doesn’t. He overstepped his bounds; he got cocky; he took too much for granted; he became overconfident. His arrogance was his downfall. He didn’t know the proverb: Pride goes before the fall. It happens all the time. Self-made men and women are determined to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, but they land on their backsides. Proud men and women set themselves apart by setting themselves up for a great downfall. The prideful person gets too big for his britches and will be exposed in the end. Pride, the antithesis of humility, is spiritual cancer that eats away at our spiritual eyes rendering us blind. Circularly, pride makes us blind to the sin of pride in our lives. In a demonic catch-22, pride causes us not to see our fatal flaw. We cannot see our pride because we are so full of pride. Pride is the spiritual veil blinding us to the truth about ourselves; whereas, humility's greatest gift is that we can see ourselves as we are and see our need for God. Pride is the cancerous root of most vices. Instead of contrition, pride leads to self-righteousness, the thinking that one doesn’t need anyone else. Humility, on the other hand, always morphs into something more beautiful; it’s the fountainhead of the other virtues. It is what we need. Each day we are faced with a choice: Will I be humble (like Esther) or will I be humbled (like Haman)?
We should learn from both examples: Esther’s humility and Haman’s pride. We should ask Jesus daily to remove any bitterness in our hearts, break down any tendencies toward pride and narcissism, and keep us humbly content in Him.
We all have countless opportunities in a day to act rashly without considering others. Let’s do the better thing—the Christlike thing— and act with wisdom and humility.
Esther took the initiative to address the threat to her people, but she chose an approach characterized by kindness and humility rather than rage and arrogance. Her approach stands in stark contrast to the contemporary worldview. The popular view is that humility is synonymous with weakness. Strong people are aggressive and assertive. To the strong go the spoils. They will win the victory.
The Bible challenges that view and repeatedly shows how the humble can be strong and victorious. Of course, that strength and the victory come because the humble person is dependent on the Lord, not on himself. An attitude of humility can be seen throughout Scripture in the lives of those who believed in the Lord and who submitted themselves to His service. He has the same expectations for our day. Humility ultimately wins the day.
How are you prone to respond when others mistreat you? When is anger appropriate? Is the problem anger or the way we manage our anger? Is it possible to be angry yet act with humility?
How would you counsel a family member or friend who is struggling with anger over being mistreated or disrespected? How does a person know when to wait and depend on the Lord and when to move forward aggressively?
Recall a time when pride was your downfall. How did you overcome your pride?
Recall a time when you exercised humility in a trying situation and eventually claimed a victory over the trial.
What are some ways you guard against unhealthy pride?
Hope to see you on Sunday!
In His Love,
David & Susan
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