4. A Life of Love
Question 1:
When have you been asked to do something that seemed overwhelming at first?
THE POINT
Remaining in Christ means our relationships are marked by love.
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Some things just can’t be done without some level of experience. Imagine trying to bake a cake when you’ve never seen a cake nor tasted one. Or imagine being told to quarterback a professional football team when you’ve never watched a game of football. No amount of discipline will get a cake out of your oven if you don’t have a concept of cake. No force of will is going to move your team down the field if you don’t know what a football is.
In this session, we’ll see Jesus’ command for us to love. Most people see the value and the virtue of this command, but do we really know what love is? In his book, Rethink Your Self, Trevin Wax points out that what people often mean by love is simply the support of others for the version of themselves they have created. He suggests people tend to look for affirmation of the identity they desire, but is that real love?1
Jesus wants us to taste and see His love. Only then can we love one another well.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
John 15:9-11
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Who doesn’t want joy? That’s why, for many of us, verse 11 is such a favorite passage. It’s a stunning statement: Your joy may be complete. Who doesn’t want complete joy?
We don’t just want it; we are desperate for it. For too many, the search for joy is an exhausting pursuit. You may have a closet of supplies from all the hobbies you’ve embraced and then forgotten, hoping one of them would fill some empty spot in your life. Maybe you check your bank account three times a day hoping to see a more satisfying sum on the bottom line. Skydivers even jump out of planes for the thrill of joy. And then there are CrossFitters, those who pursue fitness to the extreme and seem to pursue joy by pursuing misery!2
Those outside the Christian faith may question whether joy is possible, but God lovingly created us to live in joy. Jesus pointed us to the way we can experience this joy, and it’s found in three words.
- Love. Jesus said, “Remain in my love” (v. 9). Jesus’ love is the key to our joy. That makes glorious sense when we remember what His love is like. Jesus came to earth because of His love for us. He came to teach us of the Father’s love and to express that love through His actions and miracles. He showed us love in His response to our sin. In His love for us, Jesus took all our wickedness on Himself. He was nailed to a cross. He died. He was buried. And because of His love for us, He came out of the tomb and wasn’t dead anymore so that we could have victory. This is our Rescuer, the One who gives joy.
Question 2:
How would you describe joy in a Christian’s life?
- Remain. We are to remain—continue, abide, tarry, dwell—in Christ’s amazing love for us. When we remain in His love, our joy can be unbroken, but it’s important we remain. It’s that fellowship with Jesus that brings the joy we’re looking for.
- Keep. Because of Jesus’ love, we remain in His love. And because of Jesus’ love, we obey His commands. Jesus called us to “keep my commands,” which simply means we should obey the One who loves us. And as we obey His commands, we remain mindful of His love, further compelling us to obey and remain or abide in the love that first led us to obey and abide. It’s an incredible cycle of living in His love.
All of us want complete joy—and Jesus wants us to have it. That is why He calls us to dwell in Him and obey Him. When we do what He has called us to do, we experience His love and joy over and over again. Complete joy.
John 15:12-14
12 “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command.”
No one loves better than Jesus. No love has ever been higher, deeper, wider, or stronger than the love of Christ. No love has impacted more people. The disciples, when they heard this, must have thought it was like being asked to leap a mountain. They knew what Jesus’ love looked like; they had seen the love of Jesus up close and powerful. They’d seen Him heal diseases, mend bones, and silence demons for the people He loved. They’d seen Him weep, teach, and feed. They knew how sparsely He lived. They’d seen Him serve thousands for nothing in return. They didn’t know it yet, but Jesus was about to show them just how far His love would go when He died on the cross for them. With this perfect and extreme example of love before them, they had to weigh the magnitude of what Jesus was saying: “Love each other as I have loved you” (v. 12).
How do we love as Jesus loved? Though the example of Christ seems unattainable, the answer is simple: We try. We experience the love of Jesus (I have loved you) and we obey (love each other). We look at Jesus, and in the power of the Holy Spirit, we love like Jesus loves.
Question 3:
What does sacrificial love look like?
Engage
LOVED AND LOVING
In this session’s passage, Jesus gave a series of actions believers should take as His disciples. Match the following commands with their objects, ideas, or results. Then write a prayer asking for God’s help.
My Prayer:
Sure, we will never achieve that same level of love. We will never love so wonderfully. We may not be able to love to the degree Jesus loved, but we can love in the same manner. We may not see the same impact from our love, but we can share the same heart. We love as we have been loved. That’s the mandate. Be loved and be obedient.
Jesus then clarified His directions in the next sentence. “ ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’ ” That means the love Christ wants us to have for one another is active. That means our love should be sacrificial. Loving as Jesus loved means having “skin in the game” for the needs of others. It means sacrificing something of ourselves for the sake of others. Obeying in this way is like Jesus’ obedience to the Father. It might hurt or cost us dearly, but we move forward for the sake of the ones we love. H.A. Ironside put it this way:
“It is one thing to talk about love and another to manifest it. I may say I love my mother, and yet refuse to do anything for her when she is sick. Such love counts for very little. . . . Love is manifested by active benevolence and by obedience.”3
So, if we’re not demonstrating our love through acting, we aren’t loving. If our love never requires sacrificing, we are only talking. Jesus laid down His life for us and called us to act in kind: to love as He has loved us.
John 15:15-17
15 “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
Question 4:
What does friendship with Jesus mean to you?
Many of us approach producing fruit for Jesus without love. Jesus told His followers, “I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last” (v. 16). We want to stick a seed in the ground, walk away, and be overwhelmed by the crop of apples produced. But that’s not how farming works—and that’s not how we produce spiritual fruit that remains. We must bring the “loving, remaining, and keeping” into the process.
But what kind of fruit are we talking about?
Some people equate fruit with evangelistic success, meaning how many people you lead to faith in Jesus.
Some people connect fruit to acts of service, meaning the ministry you do in the name of Jesus.
Some people insist fruit is about personal growth, the character of Jesus that God shapes in you.
We see all three concepts of fruit in Scripture. Merely giving verbal assent to being a follower of Jesus is inadequate. Life change must happen—and continue to happen—as proof of conversion, and people will see that in how we influence others to follow Jesus, perform ministry acts in Jesus’ name, and live with Christ-like, Spirit-filled character.
Love is the “fertilizer” that aids our evangelistic efforts, our service to others, and our character that points to Christ. Jesus repeated His command in verse 17: “This is my command: Love each other.”
Let’s never separate abiding in Jesus and loving like Jesus from serving Jesus and bearing fruit for Jesus. Attempting to bear fruit without abiding and loving is like attempting to grow strawberries without soil or sun. If we want to bear fruit for Christ, we need to show others the love of Christ. We need to help them see our joy of dwelling in Him. We need to help them long to know the same Jesus who has loved us.
Question 5:
What are some ways a believer can bear fruit?
LIVE IT OUT
Remaining in Christ means our relationships are marked by love. Choose one of the following applications:
Remember God’s love. Put a reminder on your phone for a set time each day this week to stop and remember Jesus’ love for you. Block out a little time so you can preach the gospel to yourself and abide in Jesus’ love for you and think about how you can love like Him.
Choose a fellow Christian to love. Think of a fellow Christian you can love in a tangible way this week. Who has a physical need you can help them with? Or who has an emotional need you can speak the love of Christ into? How can you love a fellow disciple sacrificially this week?
Choose someone far from God to love. Pray for someone in your life who does not know Jesus, someone whom you want to see abide in the love you have experienced. What step can you take to love them toward Christ this week?
In Jesus, we’ve seen the greatest love the world has ever known. Remember how He has loved you. Remember how much you’ve needed His love. And take a few minutes to think about what it could look like for you to try to love like Him this week.
Teacher's Notes:
Thoughts?
We all want people to love us, even though we
may find it hard to love some people in return. We know we are supposed to love
others but sometimes that’s easier said than done.
Jesus taught His disciples the importance of
connecting to Him with a vine and branches illustration. He let them know that
without Him, they could do nothing. He called them to remain in Him and allow
His words to stay in them. And what are His words? - Love one another as He loved
them.
John 15:9-11
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved
you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will
remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in
his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your
joy may be complete.”
Who doesn’t want joy? It’s a stunning
statement: Your joy may be complete. Who doesn’t want complete joy?
So how exactly do we achieve complete joy?
1. Remain in Jesus’ love and experience His joy.
Jesus’ love conveys the Father’s love. Jesus
desires that those who follow Him dwell continuously in a relationship of love
with Him.
What does to remain in Christ really mean?
- Believing that Christ is God’s Son
- Receiving Him as Savior and Lord
- Doing what God says
- Continuing to believe the gospel
- Relating in love to the community of believers, Christ’s body
Why are love and obedience so closely
connected?
- Evidence of love is seen in one’s commitment to obey the commandments of the Father. Love and obedience are more than burdensome religious obligations; they are the source of an eternal joy that only being in right relationship with Christ can produce. The Lord desires that we experience His love and joy to the fullest.
Jesus pointed us to the way we can experience
this joy, and it’s found in three words.
Love.
Remain. Keep.
We are to remain—continue, abide, tarry,
dwell—in Christ’s amazing love for us. When we remain in His love, our joy can
be unbroken, but it’s important we remain. It’s that fellowship with Jesus that
brings the joy we’re looking for.
To keep our life attached to the vine, we need
to follow His Word. Jesus remained in His Father’s love because of his
obedience, and we remain in Christ’s love the same way. Obedience is a
difficult thing for most people. It necessitates doing what God wants us to
when we want to do our own thing. The struggle is real. There is no growth
without obedience and no fruit.
Because of Jesus’ love, we remain in His love.
And because of Jesus’ love, we obey His commands. Jesus called us to “keep my
commands,” which simply means we should obey the One who loves us. And as we
obey His commands, we remain mindful of His love, further compelling us to obey
and remain or abide in the love that first led us to obey and abide. It’s an
incredible cycle of living in His love.
John 15:12-14
12 “My command is this: Love each other as I
have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life
for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command.”
How do we love as Jesus loved?
Though the example of Christ seems
unattainable, the answer is simple: We try. We experience the love of
Jesus (I have loved you) and we obey (love each other). We look at Jesus, and
in the power of the Holy Spirit, we love like Jesus loves.
2. Love calls for personal sacrifice.
The high example of Jesus is the goal set
before us for how to live as a people in right relationship with the Father. Disciples
of Jesus will love one another. The greatest demonstration of love is to
sacrifice self on behalf of another. Jesus laid down His life for us because He
loved us. We have the privilege of being friends with Jesus, a relationship in
which we serve Him out of mutual love.
What does sacrificial love look like?
John 15:15-17
15 “I no longer call you servants, because a
servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you
friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might
go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in
my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
What kind of fruit are we to produce? What are
some ways a believer can bear fruit?
- Some people equate fruit with evangelistic success, meaning how many people you lead to faith in Jesus.
- Some people connect fruit to acts of service, meaning the ministry you do in the name of Jesus.
- Some people insist fruit is about personal growth, the character of Jesus that God shapes in you.
We see all three concepts of fruit in
Scripture. Merely giving verbal assent to being a follower of Jesus is
inadequate. Life change must happen—and continue to happen—as proof of
conversion, and people will see that in how we influence others to follow
Jesus, perform ministry acts in Jesus’ name, and live with Christ-like,
Spirit-filled character.
3. Produce spiritual fruit by loving others.
The Lord Jesus reveals the truth from the
Father. The Lord initiated our relationship with Him; we have no grounds to
demand anything from Him and nothing to merit a relationship with Him. Because
we are His friends, chosen by Him, He expects us to live spiritually productive
lives. Our relationship with Jesus opens the door for us to approach the Father
with confidence that He will provide for our needs. The command of Jesus is
simple and forthright: Love one another.
Many of us approach producing fruit for Jesus
without love.
Love is the “fertilizer” that aids our
evangelistic efforts, our service to others, and our character that points to
Christ. Jesus repeated His command in verse 17: “This is my command: Love each
other.”
Let’s never separate abiding in Jesus and
loving like Jesus from serving Jesus and bearing fruit for Jesus. Attempting to
bear fruit without abiding and loving is like attempting to grow strawberries
without soil or sun. If we want to bear fruit for Christ, we need to show
others the love of Christ. We need to help them see our joy of dwelling in
Him. We need to help them long to know the same Jesus who has loved us.
LIVE IT OUT
In Jesus, we’ve seen the greatest love the
world has ever known. Remember how He has loved you. Remember how much you’ve
needed His love. And take a few minutes to think about what it could look like
for you to try to love like Him this week.
Yes, what the world needs now is love—love as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us (Eph. 5:2).
