Class Lesson November 10, 2013

Hey Gang,


We continue this week in our series entitled "When Relationships Collide." We've been talking about how we as Christians should act in the midst of conflicts. Now there are two types of conflict - there is outer conflict that we see and have with others and there is an inner conflict that we have with ourselves and God. I want to encourage you to deal with the inner conflict in your life first because it is the only way you will be able to deal with the outer conflicts in your life. This inner conflict is a search for meaning, purpose and peace - peace with God that can be found at the cross.

 

 Conflict - Peace with God - The Cross

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In 1976 L. D. Johnson, Furman University Chaplain, wrote an article entitled "Restoring The Land." It began with these words: On this Sunday, July 4, 1976, the words of a great text come to mind. "If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land."

It's November 10, 2013 and the message and answer is the same!  This message of truth is the answer to all of the problems we see in our nation today. You see we have turn from God and we find ourselves in desperate circumstances. But the Bible says that if we are willing to come back to Him and confess our sins, turn from our wicked ways - there is hope and God will act on our behalf. 

Now to our lesson this morning...

For the past four weeks, we have considered things we can do to resolve our conflicts with other people. This week we’ll look at what we should do when we see others in conflicts who are not putting these principles into practice. 

It’s painful when someone we care about is creating conflict. The easy path is to say, “It’s none of my business,” but sometimes it truly is our business.


Here are our 6 lessons in this series:

1. Even Christians Collide (Mary & Martha) Luke 10:38-42
2. It’s Not About Me (David & Saul) 1 Samuel 24:1-15
3. Stand Down (Abraham & Lot) Genesis 13:1-18
4. Stand Your Ground (Paul & Peter) Galatians 2:1-14
5. Step In (Abigail – David & Nabal) 1 Samuel 25:14-17, 23-28, 32-35
6. The Big Picture (Joseph & His Brothers) Genesis 37:5-8, 26-28; 50:15-21

Story in Lesson

I will never forget the time a young man in my church made some poor decisions. The boy grew up in the church. His parents were personal friends. He was active in everything the church had to offer. He made good grades, was popular, and had a bright future. One day at church he showed up with a girt I knew had a bad reputation. His friends even commented that she was not his type. I knew this young man’s character and the potential he had. For several months, I observed them together. It appeared the longer they were together, the less interest this young man had in things of God. He seemed to be losing his ability to discern right from wrong. I knew the parents well enough to know they couldn’t be approving of what I was observing, yet they never approached me.

Should I get involved? Was this any of my business? Would I lose respect if they felt I was interfering? What should a pastor or friend do?

The Setting

In our lesson this morning, David is on the run from King Saul in the wilderness, and he seeks support from Nabal, a sheepherder that David’s men had provided protection to. Nabal refuses to give support and when David hears about it, he becomes angry and sets out for revenge. Nabal’s wife, Abigail, intervened with both wisdom and diplomacy, keeping the conflict from becoming disastrous.

I. INFORMATION – 1 SAMUEL 25:14-17
14 One of Nabal’s young men informed Abigail, Nabal’s wife: “Look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, but he yelled at them. 15 The men treated us well. When we were in the field, we weren’t harassed and nothing of ours was missing the whole time we were living among them. 16 They were a wall around us, both day and night, the entire time we were herding the sheep. 17 Now consider carefully what you must do, because there is certain to be trouble for our master and his entire family. He is such a worthless fool nobody can talk to him!”




To find what led up to this moment of conflict, you have to review the lesson:

• He is such a worthless fool nobody can talk to him (v. 17). Wow! The word “Nabal” means “fool.” It appears Nabal lived up to his name. have you ever met anyone like that? Can you imagine that being said about you?
• David had provided protection for Nabal’s flocks in Carmel at no expense. He asked Nabal to return the favor by feeding his men. It was a feast day, so there would have been ample food. It was not an unreasonable request. It would be expected that Nabal would have happily rewarded David’s kindness. David’s request was legitimate and it would have been in keeping with the customs of the time. But Nabal was a fool. His name, and the witness of others said so. Proverbs 10 speakes of men like Nabal, fools who die for lack of sense (v. 21) and who find pleasure in his arrogance and meanness to David. Nabal was clueless to the danger in the conflict he had begun with David. David was noticeably angry. He sent his men to do battle against Nabal. One of Nabal’s servants was evidently a brave young man. He recognized the problem, knew he had to do something about it, and he took action into his own hands. Abigail was informed of the conflict between Nabal and David. It is highly unusual to see a wife treated so nobly in the Old Testament. Abigail was obviously an exceptional woman. No doubt, this servant felt comfortable going to Abigail with the news. He had certainly seen the ignorance of his master Nabal, but he must have also seen the wisdom of Abigail.

Nabal had a wise servant who obviously did not feel Nabal would respond wisely to this conflict. Both had a role in wisely stepping in to help.

What’s the difference between tattling and giving someone information to keep a bad situation from becoming worse?

• The young man advised Abigail to consider carefully her course of action. Nabal’s insulting response to David’s delegation certainly would bring severe reprisal for Nabal and his entire family. Surprisingly, the young man described his master as a worthless fool – a good-for-nothing person. Nabal was beyond reason, so no one could approach him to talk sensibly with him. Nabal’s young servant demonstrated remarkable wisdom and courage. To address his master’s wife and give her advice was a daring act.
• A person’s good efforts may go unappreciated, misunderstood, and rejected.
• A conflict between two individuals has potential to bring harm to the innocent.
• A person who is made aware of a conflict between others will have to decide whether to get involved.

In the next verses we’ll discover how Abigail stepped in.

II. INTERVENTION – 1 SAMUEL 25:23-28

23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off the donkey and fell with her face to the ground in front of David. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “The guilt is mine, my lord, but please let your servant speak to you directly. Listen to the words of your servant. 25 My lord should pay no attention to this worthless man Nabal, for he lives up to his name: His name is Nabal, and stupidity is all he knows. I, your servant, didn’t see my lord’s young men whom you sent. 26 Now my lord, as surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live, it is the Lord who kept you from participating in bloodshed and avenging yourself by your own hand. May your enemies and those who want trouble for my lord be like Nabal. 27 Accept this gift your servant has brought to my lord, and let it be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28 Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the Lord is certain to make a lasting dynasty for my lord because he fights the Lord’s battles. Throughout your life, may evil not be found in you.



Abigail chose to act wisely. Her husband Nabal chose to be foolish.



What are some qualities of Abigail that helped her intervene?

• Abigail was an intelligent woman (v. 3). As much as her husband was foolish. Abigail was wise. In the culture of the day, it is possible that Abigail was married to Nabal because he was very rich (v. 2) and could afford her beauty and intelligence. Abigail realized the potential for devastating conflict. She responds with humility, respect and diplomacy.
• Some may be tempted to criticize Abigail doe going against her husband. Abigail showed she was serving a higher authority. God used her to prevent bloodshed. Abigail reasoned with David, appealing to his moral character and his wisdom. She helped him see the bigger picture of what God was doing. David’s future was promised. Abigail also wisely appeased David with food, his original request of Nabal. Finally, Abigail assumed blame for her husband and appealed for David to remain a man of integrity.
• Abigail is a great example of a wise peacemaker. She was kind, humble, wise, and even prophetic. Her conciliatory actions protected her husband, her people, and herself. She also kept David from bring about needless bloodshed.

What prevents us from stopping a “train wreck” in someone’s life?

• A humble attitude is more effective in resolving conflict than a haughty spirit.
• We need to exercise caution in how we respond to circumstances and situations in our lives, for the Lord may be at work in them in ways we may not see initially.
• Even those who appear to be weak may have strong insights and wisdom into the things of the Lord.
• Our angry reactions can harm our reputation and prove to be a hindrance to what God is preparing to do.

In the next verses we’ll discover David’s response to Abigail stepping into the conflict.

  

III. RESOLUTION – 1 SAMUEL 25:32-35

32 Then David said to Abigail, “Praise to the Lord God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! 33 Your discernment is blessed, and you are blessed. Today you kept me from participating in bloodshed and avenging myself by my own hand. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord God of Israel lives, who prevented me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left by morning light.” 35 Then David accepted what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. See, I have heard what you said and have granted your request.”





David’s anger was justified. Nabal was a fool. But shedding innocent blood was not the answer.



How does David respond to Abigail and why?

• He blessed Abigail for her wisdom and advice.
• He was open to rebuke.
• He was willing to accept wise counsel.
• He humbled himself to admit he was wrong and changed his course of action.
• David is a reminder of the tenderness of heart God seeks in all who serve Him. With her peaceable nature, Abigail was able to restore peace to David’s angry heart. Abigail protected David from sinning. She prevented David from taking matters into his own hands. His anger would have caused him to behave more like his predecessor Saul. Saul lost the kingdom because he sinned against God. David perhaps saw that he had just avoided doing the same and he humbly recanted his actions against Nabal. 

What does Abigail’s story teach us about how to step in?

What does it take to step in and get involved?

• A righteous and wise person will listen to the counsel of another to discern if the Lord is speaking through him or her.
• Nothing is to be gained by taking selfish action to avenge one’s self. 

Live it Out: Our author felt led by God to speak with the young man whose story began our lesson. The young man listened politely but chose to still see the girl. Later, however, he realized she was not a good fit for the direction he wanted to take his life. He began to make better choices, and today he continues to live his life to honor Christ.

Three actions when deciding whether to step in are:

1. Give permission. Give someone permission to step in if you are about to make a bad decision.
2. Seek advice. If you’re not sure if you should step into someone else’s problem, ask the advice of someone you trust.
3. Intervene diplomatically. Say what needs to be said with humility. And respect.

Let God lead you as you step in to keep a bad situation from getting worse.



Deciding to intervene in a conflict between others can be a difficult decision. It is much easier just to not get involved or to just let someone else do it. Certainly, we need to exercise caution before thrusting ourselves into a conflict situation. However, as with Abigail, when the conflict has potential to affect us, those near us, of the innocent, we need to be willing to step in. When such intervention is carried out with grace and love, problems can be solved and relationships restored, further hurt prevented, and God glorified.

Prayer of Commitment

Lord, help me to discern when to intervene in a conflict. Then give me boldness to do so and the grace to do it so that You are praised. Amen.

Hope you have a blessed rest of the week and we'll see you on Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan