Question 1:
When you were a kid, what would make you
really angry?
Small children can get mad about the silliest things—and if they catch us giggling, they only get madder. Parents report their children have gotten mad because: the moon was in the sky during the day, her picture wasn’t in our wedding album, his ice cream was too cold, or I wouldn’t let him wipe his nose with a piece of bread.
Unfortunately, we also can get angry as adults—and for equally silly reasons.
- Someone chews his food too loudly.
- Someone in front of you is driving too slowly.
- Someone asks a question that was just answered moments ago.
- Someone puts you on hold for longer than a minute.
Admit it. You’ve become angry over something petty—just like I have. At other times, more serious matters push the anger button: slander, threats, and unjust actions.
Do we give in to the anger, or is there a better way? In Psalm 35, David had good reasons to be angry, but he took a different route. It’s a route we should consider when anger starts to well up inside us.
THE POINT
Take your anger to God
and leave matters in His hands.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
Psalm 35:1-3
1 Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me. 2 Take up shield and armor; arise and come to my aid. 3 Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to me, “I am your salvation.”
Question 2:
What’s your first reaction
to these verses?
King David faced real—and serious—opposition. David likely penned Psalm 35 during the period of his life when King Saul was pursuing him. After David’s victory over Goliath, he quickly rose in popularity with the people. He served in Saul’s court, and he was successful in everything he did. David never sought to usurp King Saul, but that was not how Saul viewed David. It didn’t help that the popular song of the day was “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Sam. 18:7).
God’s hand obviously was on David. The prophet Samuel already had informed Saul, “your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people” (13:14). Even before David’s “name became well known” (18:30) after he killed Goliath (17:45-52) and became successful in Saul’s army, Samuel anointed him and declared that he was the one God had chosen to be the next king (16:12-13).
Even though David remained loyal to Saul and served him faithfully, he eventually had to run for his life. From then until Saul’s death, David lived in the wilderness. To have David out of his court and the public eye was not enough for Saul. He relentlessly chased after David with the single-minded intent of killing him.
It’s in this context that David cried out, “Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me” (v. 1). This psalm is called an imprecatory psalm, one in which the writer calls on God to bring harm and disaster on his enemy. Many people are uncomfortable with these psalms because they seem diametrically opposed to Jesus’ command to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44).
Lest we think David is mean-spirited with no love in his heart, two things in David’s life are worth noting:
- David had an easy opportunity to kill his enemy—twice! On one occasion, Saul went to relieve himself in the very cave where David and his men were hiding. David crept up and cut off the corner of Saul’s robe to prove that he could have harmed Saul—but he would never lift his hand against the one God had anointed (1 Sam. 24:1-11).
- David took the matter to God. David didn’t seek vengeance; He sought God. Read this psalm through verse 8 and you see a cry for David’s opponents to be disgraced, humiliated, ashamed, and ruined. David expressed his anger and frustration to God, but he left the matter there. David surely knew what God said in the law: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. . . . The Lord will vindicate his people” (Deut. 32:35-36).
David models the right approach: take the matter to God. Even though David offered suggestions to God on what He should do, he prayed to God, trusted Him, and looked for His assurance: “I am your salvation” (v. 3).
Psalm 35:13-16
13 Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth and humbled myself with fasting. When my prayers returned to me unanswered, 14 I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother. 15 But when I stumbled, they gathered in glee; assailants gathered against me without my knowledge. They slandered me without ceasing. 16 Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked; they gnashed their teeth at me.
David’s situation was difficult. The ones who were seeking to kill him were the very ones he cared for most. We’ve already noted the relationship between Saul and David. Not only had David served Saul closely; his best friend was Saul’s son, Jonathan (1 Sam. 18:1). But David had also been a military leader for Saul, and he had served alongside many of the soldiers who were now pursuing him (v. 5).
In an ideal setting, those David had previously prayed for and cared about would do the same for him when he stumbled. They would’ve come alongside David, praying, fasting, and seeking the best for him. But instead, “they gathered in glee; assailants gathered against me” (v. 15). Others joined David’s former friends in this feeding frenzy: “Assailants . . . slandered me without ceasing.”
When friends or family turn on us, it can be tempting to respond in kind. “I tried to be nice, but if he is going to be that way, I can do it too.” When Jesus spoke of loving our enemies, He said, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others?” (Matt. 5:46-47). Even when our friends and loved ones turn on us, we don’t change our tune: we are to continue loving.
We are not to respond in anger or retaliation; we are to respond in love. Loving those who anger us or seek our harm is the best way to “get back” at them. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:21).
Question 3:
How can we respond well when we are
treated unjustly by others?
Psalm 35:17-18
17 How long, Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my precious life from these lions. 18 I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among the throngs I will praise you.
Saul took his hatred of David to the battlefield; he responded as a warrior, chasing the one he perceived to be his enemy to kill him. David was well-known as a mighty warrior, but he appealed to God to be the warrior on his behalf. David was also appealing to God as his advocate and judge. He needed to be rescued “from their ravages.” Without God’s intervention, David’s life was truly in danger.
David asked God to “Rescue . . . my precious life from these lions” (v. 17).
Question 4:
What makes leaving matters in
God’s hands so challenging?
The heart of David’s prayer and appeal to God was for rescue, not retaliation. David’s attitude and heart toward his enemy was evident at Saul’s’ death. When Saul died in battle (1 Sam. 31:1-6), David didn’t rejoice, saying: “Yes!
My prayer has been answered!” Instead, David grieved for Saul as well as for Israel (2 Sam. 1:11-12).
David’s other psalms reflect an unwavering trust in God (as we will see in the next session’s study of Psalm 23), so we can assume David’s closing words in Psalm 35 reflect that same trust. David had faith that God would rescue him; he just didn’t know when. “How long, Lord, will you look on?” David knew God would rescue him, but he was ready to be rescued right then!
We also see David’s trust in his praise of God. Things did not look favorable for David at the moment—he had not yet experienced the rescue he sought from God—but he approached life with a renewed determination. “I will give you thanks . . . I will praise you” (emphasis added). David had expressed similar praise in verse 9, but here David would offer his praise and worship “in the great assembly; among the throngs.”
To offer public praise in the thick of frustrating, anger-provoking circumstances is a great testimony of our trust in God. We honor Him when we choose to express trust rather than outrage and retaliation.
Question 5:
Why is it important to take our
anger and anguish to God?
GIVING OUR ANGER TO GOD
Choose one of the images that illustrates a common anger or frustration you have.
Then write a prayer taking that anger or frustration to God.
“We may not be able to prevent other people
from being our enemies, but we can prevent
ourselves from being enemies toward others.”
WARREN WIERSBE
LIVE IT OUT
When anger begins to brew, how will you respond? Choose one of the following applications:
- Vent—to God. Before talking to others about what has upset you, talk to God. Be honest with God about why you’re angry. Ask Him for the strength to refrain from anger and the will to trust Him with the situation.
- Seek resolution—not retaliation. If possible, find a way to resolve the relationship or situation that has angered you. At the very least, pray for the well-being of the other person. As you genuinely pray for another person, God will also work on your heart.
- Love—no matter what. Find specific, concrete ways you can show the love of Christ to those who’ve hurt you or made you angry. Don’t take any action to look self righteous and better than the other person. Show love in order to honor the One who loves you.
David had good reasons to be angry, like many of us sometimes. He chose to take a positive route, and we can too: take our anger to God and leave matters in His hands.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Teachers Notes:
Redirecting Anger
The Point: Take your anger to God and leave
matters in His hands.
The Passage: Psalm 35:1-3,13-18
Romans 12:14-21
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who
rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to
associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is
possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is
written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If
your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In
doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good.
You’ve heard the old saying, “Don’t get mad; get even.” Anger is a much
discussed and debated topic. Some theorize that being angry is wrong in and of
itself, while others maintain that the feeling itself is not wrong, but the
ways in which it is acted upon may be. Scripture itself presupposes that there will
be times when we become angry, but it admonishes us not to sin in the process (Ephesians
4:26).
When you’re hurt or humiliated, does it make you
angry? And if it makes you angry, what do you do about it?
Elsa would tell you to sing
a catchy song and let it go.
Carl Ericsson might tell you to bottle
up the anger and let it simmer … for 50 years.
Ericsson was 73 when he knocked on the door of
an old classmate, Norman Johnson. Ericsson hadn’t seen Johnson in years, but
when he verified it was the same Norman, he knew in school in the 50s, he shot
him dead.
Ericsson’s justification? Fifty years earlier,
in the high school locker room, Johnson had put a jockstrap on his head.
I’m not justifying what Johnson did, but it was
probably one of those adolescent pranks the other boys quickly forgot about.
But not Ericsson. For him, that humiliation festered for 50 years until he rang
Johnson’s doorbell.
So back to my original question: how do you
handle those things that make you angry? Jesus would tell you to deal with it
appropriately.
In this psalm we find David expressing his anger
about those who have treated him unfairly. Several times in his life David is
mistreated by other people, most notably by his predecessor Saul as well as by
members of his own family. David does not hide his anger, but rather honestly
expresses his concerns to God.
Psalm 35:1-3 (The
Request)
1 Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me;
fight against those who fight against me. 2 Take up shield and armor; arise and
come to my aid. 3 Brandish (wave) spear and javelin against those who pursue
me. Say to me, “I am your salvation.”
What makes you uneasy about the prayer in Psalm
35:1-3?
King David faced real—and serious—opposition.
David likely penned Psalm 35 during the period of his life when King Saul was
pursuing him. After David’s victory over Goliath, he quickly rose in popularity
with the people. He served in Saul’s court, and he was successful in everything
he did. David never sought to usurp King Saul, but that was not how Saul viewed
David. It didn’t help that the popular song of the day was “Saul has slain his
thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Sam. 18:7).
Two things in David’s life are worth noting:
1. David had an easy
opportunity to kill his enemy—twice! On one occasion, Saul went to relieve himself in the very cave
where David and his men were hiding. David crept up and cut off the corner of
Saul’s robe to prove that he could have harmed Saul—but he would never lift his
hand against the one God had anointed (1 Sam. 24:1-11).
2. David took the matter to
God. David didn’t seek
vengeance; He sought God. Read this psalm through verse 8 and you see a cry for
David’s opponents to be disgraced, humiliated, ashamed, and ruined.
David expressed his anger and frustration to
God, but he left the matter there. David surely knew what God said in the law:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay. . . . The Lord will vindicate his people”
(Deut. 32:35-36).
When is it appropriate to ask God to “fight”
against someone or a group?
I.
When you face opposition, take your anger and desire for
vindication to God.
· Paul wrote, “Do not take
revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Rom. 12:19
· Depend on the Lord to be
your defender and to win the victory.
· Vent—to God. Before talking to
others about what has upset you, talk to God. Be honest with God about why
you’re angry. Ask Him for the strength to refrain from anger and the will to
trust Him with the situation.
Psalm 35:13-16 (The
Reason)
13 Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth
and humbled myself with fasting. When my prayers returned to me unanswered, 14
I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in
grief as though weeping for my mother. 15 But when I stumbled, they gathered in
glee; assailants gathered against me without my knowledge. They slandered me
without ceasing. 16 Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked; they gnashed
their teeth at me.
David
contrasts his opponents’ treatment of him with his own behavior. He says he
fasted, prayed, and mourned with them when they mourned. He treated them as he
would have treated his own family. Some of us may recall times when the people
we helped turned on us. Experiencing this can definitely lead to being angry.
The feeling is worse when we are mistreated by those with whom we are close.
Unfortunately, David's kindness has not been reciprocated. Instead, the people
pursuing him mock his struggles. Rejoicing at another person’s misfortune adds
insult to their injury. We must be careful how we treat others while we are up,
because like David, we may find ourselves down at some point. The good news is
that we always can express our true feelings to God.
David’s situation was difficult. The ones who
were seeking to kill him were the very ones he cared for most. We’ve already
noted the relationship between Saul and David. Not only had David served Saul
closely; his best friend was Saul’s son, Jonathan (1 Sam. 18:1). But David had
also been a military leader for Saul, and he had served alongside many of the
soldiers who were now pursuing him (v. 5).
When friends or family
turn on us, it can be tempting to respond in kind. “I tried to be nice, but if
he is going to be that way, I can do it too.” When Jesus spoke of
loving our enemies, He said, “If you love those who love you, what reward will
you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your
own people, what are you doing more than others?” (Matt. 5:46-47). Even when
our friends and loved ones turn on us, we don’t change our tune: we are to
continue loving. We are not to respond in anger or retaliation; we are to respond
in love. Loving those who anger us or seek our harm is the best way to “get
back” at them. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom.
12:21).
How do David’s reflections here compare to what
you have heard of Jesus’ instruction in the New Testament?
How might our desire for fairness work against
treating others with love and grace?
II.
Treat others with love and grace, not anger.
· Jesus said: “But to you
who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28
bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28
· No matter how others
treat us, as children of the Lord we are to extend to them mercy and grace.
· Seek resolution—not
retaliation. If possible, find a way to resolve the relationship or situation
that has angered you. At the very least, pray for the well-being of the other
person. As you genuinely pray for another person, God will also work on your
heart.
· Vindication belongs to
the Lord.
Psalm 35:17-18 (The Result)
17 How long, Lord, will you look on? Rescue me
from their ravages, my precious life from these lions. 18 I will give you
thanks in the great assembly; among the throngs I will praise you.
Saul took his hatred of David to the
battlefield; he responded as a warrior, chasing the one he perceived to be his
enemy to kill him. David was well-known as a mighty warrior, but he appealed to
God to be the warrior on his behalf. David was also appealing to God as his
advocate and judge. He needed to be rescued “from their ravages.” Without God’s
intervention, David’s life was truly in danger. David asked God to “Rescue . .
. my precious life from these lions” (v. 17).
David
wants to know how long the Lord will allow this to continue. We can take our
questions to God, knowing that he has the answers, and more importantly has
concern for us. Many of us have been at a point of being ready for our problems
to be over. David openly requests to be rescued. He understands that he is in a
position of complete dependence on God. We have to come to this realization as
well. Our hope for rescue resides in God alone. David assumes that God will
intervene and promises to praise God in the presence of others. This implicitly
affirms belief that God will save him and provide him with another opportunity
to join the worshiping congregation. Looking beyond our anger in anticipation
of worship is not always easy, but ensures that our focus remains on God.
We also see David’s trust in his praise of God.
Things did not look favorable for David at the moment—he had not yet
experienced the rescue he sought from God—but he approached life with a renewed
determination. “I will give you thanks . . . I will praise you” (emphasis
added). David had expressed similar praise in verse 9, but here David would
offer his praise and worship “in the great assembly; among the throngs.” To
offer public praise in the thick of frustrating, anger-provoking circumstances
is a great testimony of our trust in God. We honor Him when we choose to
express trust rather than outrage and retaliation.
III.
Leave matters in God’s hands.
· “5 Trust in the Lord
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways
submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your
own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:5-7
· The Lord is often at
work in our lives in ways we do not see.
· Love—no matter what. Find specific,
concrete ways you can show the love of Christ to those who’ve hurt you or made
you angry. Don’t take any action to look self-righteous and better than the
other person. Show love in order to honor the One who loves you.
What makes leaving matters in God’s hands so
challenging?
Close:
Anger. If there is one emotion that gives us
trouble, this is probably it. We can’t avoid it, and in some cases, we
shouldn’t even try. Abuses against human life, acts motivated by hate, the presence
of evil – well, they ought to make us angry. But what are we to do with it?
Paul told the Ephesians something they ought not
to do with it. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you
are still angry,” (Eph. 4:26). He did not forbid being angry, but he cautioned
against letting anger become so ingrained within that it turns to bitterness
and uncontrolled rage.
Jesus condemned violent attitudes spawned by
anger as surely as He did violent actions that led to murder. He cautioned
against anger that interfered with one’s ability to worship and urged the angry
one to seek reconciliation.
Of course, we sometimes explain our anger away
by calling it “righteous indignation.” We cite Jesus’ actions in purging the
temple of those who had turned it into a marketplace. He was angry; none of
those present that day doubted it. If we’re not careful, righteous anger can
easily become unrighteous. Righteous anger should never result in unrighteous
actions. We are not Jesus.
And how about anger toward our enemies? That was
the struggle David faced when he pinned Psalm 35.
How can understanding God’s righteous anger
toward sin along with His forgiving heart make it easier to let go of our own
anger and choose to forgive others? In other words, how does the grace we’ve
received make it easier to offer grace to others?
The Werewolf Analogy:
Comparison of an angry person to a werewolf is simply to encourage
those who struggle with anger to take the most dire actions possible when
overwhelmed. If not controlled quickly, their anger could become dangerous.
Whatever they can do to keep their mouths and bodies under control, they should
do.
Who do you know who struggles with severe
episodes of anger? Do you struggle? What things do you or this person need to
control when they are angry?
What do “dire actions” look like for you or the
person you know who struggles with anger?
Luke 18:9-14 (ESV) The Pharisee and the Tax
Collector
9He also told this parable to some who trusted
in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt:10“Two
men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax
collector.11The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you
that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like
this tax collector.12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I
get.’13But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes
to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’14I
tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For
everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself
will be exalted.”
The real work for those who struggle with anger
is going to be done in between moments of anger. He referenced The Parable of
the Pharisee and the Tax Collector in Luke 18 and highlighted the attitude of
the tax collector. Angry people argue that they’re right, and everyone else is
wrong. The tax collector has no such confidence. He cried, “Lord, have mercy on
me, a sinner.”
What role do you think confession plays in
dealing with anger?
Are there ways you can establish a rhythm of
confession for you or the angry person you know? If so, what would that look
like? If not, are there other things you or the person who know could do to
seek counsel?
A lot of anger seems to be out of a person’s
control. When someone who’s angry does some work and preparation ahead of time,
though, slowly but surely episodes of anger can become less frequent. What you
or your friend needs above all else is steady support and encouragement from
loved ones to shift your mindset from anger to humility before God and
others.
