Class Lesson November 17, 2013

Hey Gang,



We conclude our series this week entitled "When Relationships Collide." We've been talking about how we as Christians should act in the midst of conflicts. Conflict can feel draining, and it can feel like it is keeping us from more meaningful endeavors. God can use whatever conflict we are facing, though, to bring meaningful results in our lives. Conflict can lead to resolution, which can lead to a far stronger relationship.

Recall a previous time of conflict or struggle in which you now see the Lord was still at work to bring to pass His plan. How does thinking about that experience help you in a current conflict or prepare you for the next time conflict comes?



Even now, how does your awareness that God was at work in your struggle affect your attitude toward people who act toward you in hurtful and harmful ways? 

Leave a Legacy

Good to Watch - At Least it was for Me 

The story of Joseph is one of the strongest examples of family conflict within the Bible. The story holds nothing back. It is messy. Favoritism, hatred, and envy defined Jacob’s family. Yet, even in the midst of that kind of family dysfunction, God had a plan. Through our study of two brief portions of the story, we will be introduced to the dysfunction that characterized his family, to the way that dysfunction appeared to disrupt the course of his life, and to how God was at work all along to complete the life destination He had planned for Joseph – a plan not only good for Joseph but for all who came under his influence.

The Setting

The older sons of Jacob hated Joseph so much that they wanted to kill him. They chose instead to profit from their hatred, and sold him into slavery. The brothers believed they were done with their brother, but years later, they found themselves standing before Joseph as he served as the second-in-command in Egypt. Joseph forgave his brothers because he saw that God was at work through all that had happened to him.

I. DYSFUNCTION – GENESIS 37:5-8

5 Then Joseph had a dream. When he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. 6 He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 There we were, binding sheaves of grain in the field. Suddenly my sheaf stood up, and your sheaves gathered around it and bowed down to my sheaf.” 8 “Are you really going to reign over us?” his brothers asked him. “Are you really going to rule us?” So they hated him even more because of his dream and what he had said.




What might have been the causes of conflict between Joseph and his brothers?

• Favoritism, hatred, and envy defined the family of Jacob. Apparently it was common knowledge that Joseph was his Dad’s favorite son.
• Every family is dysfunctional to some degree in some way. Even families who have a relationship with the lord are not perfect families. This was true of the family of the patriarch Jacob.
• In the preceding verses we are introduced to a blended family that apparently didn’t blend well. Jacob’s older sons were jealous of a younger son, Joseph born to Jacob’s favorite wife, Rachel.
• Because Jacob loved Joseph more than the others, he presented him with a special coat. As a result, the older brothers developed such a hatred for Joseph they could not bring themselves to speak a friendly word to him.
• If the special robe weren’t enough to agitate his brothers, consider the dreams Joseph had. Dreams were a frequent source of divine revelation to the Old Testament patriarchs.
• Driven either by his immaturity, ego, naivete’, or youthful brashness, Joseph told his dream to his brothers. Whatever response he expected, here is what he got: they hated him even more.
• Favoritism, envy, and resentment among members of a group can lead to hatred that limits the ability of the group to function effectively, purposefully, and cooperatively in harmony together.
• Individuals who perceive themselves to be a favored position need to evaluate their attitudes to avoid not being perceived as self-righteous or egotistical.
• Dreamers can expect some people to misunderstand their dreams, even when those dreams come from the Lord.

When have you seen behaviors like this fuel the fire of conflict? How did certain individuals contribute to the family conflict?

• It’s never right to play favorites with children.
• Regardless of the motive, Joseph aroused the envy of his brothers through his words and behavior. His actions were perceived as coming from a self-righteous attitude.

Was hatred a cause or the result of the conflict?

• Joseph’s brothers didn’t believe the dreams and they resented the dreamer. Therefore, they set out to develop a plan of action to eliminate this one who had become a nuisance and a nemesis.

 

In the next verses, we'll discover what Joseph's brothers did to him.

II. DISRUPTION – GENESIS 37:26-28

26 Then Judah said to his brothers, “What do we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay a hand on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh,” and they agreed. 28 When Midianite traders passed by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the pit and sold him for 20 pieces of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took Joseph to Egypt.




The brothers decided to kill Joseph, dispose of his lifeless body in an open pit or a dry cistern, and contrive a story to tell their father. They would say that Joseph had been mauled by a wild beast. Rueben, the eldest brother, intervened by suggesting they not kill Joseph but only throw him in a pit. The implication was that he would be left there to die. The bothers didn’t know that Rueben had in mind to rescue Joseph later.



Judah’s idea was to sell Joseph to the Ishmeelites – descendants of Ishmael. By selling Joseph the brothers would be rid of him and have some money for it as well. Plus they wouldn’t have the murder of their brother on their conscience. This they all agreed to do – apparently Rueben wasn’t there for the conversation.



What do you think Joseph thought about his divine dream now?

• The deed was done. The disruption that Joseph had become to the brothers was gone. For them, the prospects of those silly dreams ever coming true had been disrupted as well.
• Joseph may have had a similar thought. His life as he had known it, and whatever future he had anticipated, certainly was disrupted. He may also have thought that whatever God had been revealing to him had been seriously disrupted as well. What he had dreamed was not likely to happen – or could it?
• Conflict can disrupt relationships and our course of life.
• The evil in the heart is the source of evil actions.

How has a conflict shaped your life? How has God gotten you through a rough time?



Many years passed between the brothers selling Joseph and their next encounter with him. what we’ll see though is how Joseph has matured.

III. DESTINATION – GENESIS 50:15-21

15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said to one another, “If Joseph is holding a grudge against us, he will certainly repay us for all the suffering we caused him.” 16 So they sent this message to Joseph, “Before he died your father gave a command: 17 ‘Say this to Joseph: Please forgive your brothers’ transgression and their sin—the suffering they caused you.’ Therefore, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father. ” Joseph wept when their message came to him. 18 Then his brothers also came to him, bowed down before him, and said, “We are your slaves!”  19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the survival of many people. 21 Therefore don’t be afraid. I will take care of you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.



What did the brothers fear from Joseph following their father’s death?

• If Joseph is holding a grudge against us, he will certainly repay us for all the suffering we caused him. They knew what they had done was evil. Their evil would return to them as Joseph’s retaliation.

Why did Joseph weep on hearing their message of forgiveness?

• Joseph saw no reason to doubt the sincerity of the brother’s plea.
• Perhaps he wept because he sensed the deep guilt they carried over their offenses of the past. Maybe because they didn’t yet understand that Joseph had put their actions against him in the past.
• Maybe his weeping may have been tears of joy in knowing that a family that had been so broken had been made whole.

What was Joseph’s perspective now on the actions of his brothers and the things that had happened to him?

• Joseph understood his past from a new perspective. You planned evil against me; God planned it for good.
• God, because He is the Sovereign Lord, had taken all the wicked intentions and acts of these brothers and fashioned them to accomplish His original intent and purpose. God’s purpose was to save the people of Egypt, Israel, and other nations who found a food supply available in Egypt. God is always moving in the direction of saving life. That is never seen more clearly than in Jesus, who suffered at the evil intentions of wicked people. Yet God was at work in that time of darkness and death to bring about life.
• Joseph did not burden them with guilt or blame, rather he comforted them. He spoke no words of judgment or hate; he spoke kindly to them. Such is the attitude of one who has a forgiving spirit and wants to be reconciled with others. At long last the journey was over; the destination had been reached.
• Words of forgiveness and reconciliation are to be supported by actions.
• God works in ways beyond what we see at the moment to accomplish His divine purposes.
• God works in ways to bring life in its fullness.

What will help you extend forgiveness when you’re wronged?

• The heart of this session is in verse 20 where Joseph acknowledged the big picture of his life from God’s perspective.  

THE BIG PICTURE

1. A family member who hurt you years ago is now asking to be a part of your life again. However, the very thought of the reunion brings back painful, unresolved memories.



How might God be at work in the midst of this? ____________________________





2. Identify a current conflict in your life. Reflect on your answer over the next few days.



How might God be at work in the midst of this? ____________________________ 





How can we encourage each other when we struggle to see evidence that God is at work in difficult situations?



Live it Out

Sometimes it is difficult to see that God is at work while we are in the middle of a conflict. The lesson from stories like the one about Joseph reminds us that God is always active. He is no passive, disengaged, or absentee God. Being aware of God’s work of love and grace all around us and trusting that He does all things well allows us to press forward during difficult times and helps us to extend forgiveness to others who have harmed us. In the end, we know God’s will and purpose will be accomplished in a way that brings glory to His name.



Three Actions We Should Take:

1. Trust. Even if you can’t see God’s hand yet, trust He is at work.
2. Forgive. Regardless of who’s at fault in the conflict, forgive the other person.
3. Call. Contact someone and let them know how God changed you because of your experience with the conflict.

Could God be at work in your conflict, preparing a better story for you?

Prayer of Commitment

Father, during struggle and conflict, I may forget that while those things may disrupt my plans, they don’t disrupt Yours. In truth, they may be the very tools You use to accomplish Your good. Amen. 

Hope to see everyone this Sunday for the conclusion of our series.

In His Love,

David & Susan