Class Lesson May 26, 2013

Hey Gang,



We conclude our series this week on Extraordinary Relationships by considering what what kind of friend we really are to others. Most of us want to have friends and want to be friends to others. We want to be known to be friendly. Friendship is a special relationship with another person, it far exceeds just being acquainted or even having something in common. However, true friendship can be elusive. Therefore, both having and being a true friend is a rich treasure. This lesson presents three character traits that we need to look for in a friend and that need to evident in our lives if we are to be a friend to others.

Lessons in this series:

May 5 Getting My Most Important Relationship Right (Proverbs 3)
May 12 Building The Home I Need (Proverbs 31)
May 19 Becoming a Person Others Need (Proverbs 6)
May 26 Giving Others What They Really Need (Proverbs 11, 27, & 28)

Is this really what you think of when you think of friends? 

 

Life Goal

Develop extraordinary friendships by investing in the lives of others for Christ. 



Who are your real friends?


Harry Vardon - Francis Quimet - Eddie Lowery
1913 U.S. Open

The Greatest Game Ever Played 
Click Here to Watch


 Francis and Eddie remained friends their entire lives - why?

I. HONESTY – PROVERBS 27:5-6; 28:23; 29:10

5 Better an open reprimand than concealed love. 6 The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

23 One who rebukes a person will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue.

10 Bloodthirsty men hate an honest person, but the upright care about him.


Why is honesty a better life path than saying nice things that are not true?

• Honest expression may be difficult to give or receive, but it is always best.
• Honesty may not always be popular, but it is right. Telling friends what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.
• A flatterer and flattery are not to be trusted. The culture says to support the friend no matter what and not to meddle.
• Some people literally hate honest and upright people and will even do them harm.
• In the end, honesty and truth will be esteemed highly.
• We cannot have a friend or be a friend apart from honesty. If we are to influence others to do what is right, then they need us to be honest in our dealings with them and in the advice we offer to them. There is no such thing as a dishonest friend, for a friend who is dishonest with us is not being a friend to us. If we are being dishonest with someone, we are not being a friend to them as well no matter how long we have known them or in what setting.

Do you want friendships that make you feel better or friendships that make you better?

• If you want extraordinary friendships then you’ve got to give and receive honest, loving rebukes.

What could be wrong motives we might have in correcting other people?

• Wrong motives include to make ourselves feel better or smarter or show that we are right.
• We might correct to embarrass or belittle.
• True correction is painful to us to give.
• When led by God, correct out of love and obedience, not out of delight and judgment. Be honest with yourself before you seek to be honest with others. Think, pray, and immerse yourself in God’s Word before you say a single word of rebuke. Tread very carefully. Don’t dispense advice as one who’s arrived at perfection; instead, share wisdom as a fellow traveler. 

 

 

 

II. LOYALTY – PROVERBS 17:17; 18:24; 27:10

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

24 A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

10 Don’t abandon your friend or your father’s friend, and don’t go to your brother’s house in your time of calamity; better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.


What does loyalty look like from a true friend?

• Loyal friends stand with their friends and their family friends through all circumstances of life. But staying with someone who’s doing wrongly is not loyalty; it’s cowardice.
• A single trusted loyal friend is far better than many pretentious friends who cannot be counted on for support.
• We should be a loyal friend whom others can count on in their time of need.
• Perhaps no trait is more desirable and less evident in our culture than loyalty. The feeling of loyalty among family members, friends, team members, coworkers, and church members can be the difference between achievement and failure. Loyalty strikes a blow at the heart of selfishness, fickleness, and individualism in favor of community, faithfulness, and unity.
• You earn the right to be honest with friends when you prove yourself trustworthy. Genuine friendship is revealed in times of difficulty, in delight, and in day-to-day routines.

How would you explain the expression “a fair-weather friend” to someone new to our country?

• A fair-weather friend is a friend during good times, but disappears when trouble or hardships arise.

III. SUPPORT – PROVERBS 11:12-14; 27:9, 17

12 Whoever shows contempt for his neighbor lacks sense, but a man with understanding keeps silent. 13 A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence. 14 Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance.

9 Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.

17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.



How does a trustworthy person show support?

• We support our friends when we hold them accountable, challenge them, and offer sound advice.
• We are showing support for our friends when we refuse to break confidences or gossip about them.
• Friends need both encouragement and instruction to become all they can be.
• Don’t belittle anyone – ever. Don’t gossip – ever. Don’t break a confidence – ever. Keeping the mouth shut is a solid way to give friends what they really need.

We close out this series of extraordinary relationships with a lesson on friendship. You know, it's a popular perception that our friends are the people we like and who are nice to us. But you know, that concept of friendship is pretty shallow. Friends need someone who will be honest with them, stand with them during the most difficult and trying circumstances, and love them enough to offer correctives when needed. Friends need someone who will provide a positive influence, help them grow, and encourage them to live for Christ.

Who has been a true friend to you? How did that person demonstrate the three traits discussed in this study: honesty, loyalty, and support? To whom are you being a friend that fits the model described in this study? How are you demonstrating honesty, loyalty, and support in that relationship?

Looking forward to seeing everyone this Sunday!

In His Love,

David & Susan