THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Criticism has sunk to a whole new level in recent years.
Criticism has sunk to a whole new level in recent years.
Thanks to social media, people make critical comments online they would never say to someone’s face. It’s easy to criticize from a distance—and that sense of distance or anonymity emboldens people to be especially ruthless. As a result, people have become downright mean-spirited in their speech.
It’s easy to embrace a critical spirit. It’s hardwired into our fallen nature. When we compare ourselves with others, our own sense of insecurity wants to bring others down and elevate ourselves. We begin to pass judgment on them—their motives, actions, and thoughts—as if we have the right to do so.
As we’ll see in the example of Miriam from the Book of Numbers, we damage lives, including our own, when we criticize others. We’ll also see that the discontentment underneath our criticism can only be broken when we place our focus back on God.
1Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses because of the Cushite woman he married (for he had married a Cushite woman). 2They said, “Does the Lord speak only through Moses? Does He not also speak through us?” And the Lord heard it. 3Moses was a very humble man, more so than any man on the face of the earth. 4Suddenly the Lord said to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, “You three come out to the tent of meeting.” So the three of them went out. 5Then the Lord descended in a pillar of cloud, stood at the entrance to the tent, and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When the two of them came forward, 6He said: “Listen to what I say: If there is a prophet among you from the Lord, I make Myself known to him in a vision; I speak with him in a dream. 7Not so with My servant Moses; he is faithful in all My household. 8I speak with him directly, openly, and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord. So why were you not afraid to speak against My servant Moses?” 9The Lord’s anger burned against them, and He left. 10As the cloud moved away from the tent, Miriam’s skin suddenly became diseased, as white as snow. When Aaron turned toward her, he saw that she was diseased 11and said to Moses, “My lord, please don’t hold against us this sin we have so foolishly committed.”
13Then Moses cried out to the Lord, “God, please heal her!” 14The Lord answered Moses, “If her father had merely spit in her face, wouldn’t she remain in disgrace for seven days? Let her be confined outside the camp for seven days; after that she may be brought back in.” 15So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on until Miriam was brought back in.
Cushite (v. 1)—This term may refer to Moses’ wife Zipporah (“Midianite” and “Cushite” were used as synonyms), or to a second wife Moses may have married after Zipporah died.
The form of the Lord (v. 8)—The term rendered “form” means “likeness” or “semblance.” This phrase most likely refers to some type of a visible representation of God, but not to His full glory.
Diseased (v. 10) —The Hebrew term was used for a wide variety of skin diseases, ranging in severity of effects from white spots on the skin to the loss of fingers and toes.
What are some of the main motivations behind our
desire to criticize?
desire to criticize?
Numbers 12:1-3
God had called Moses to an unprecedented task. Moses not only led the Israelites out of Egyptian bondage, but he also led them through the desert to the edge of the promised land—a task that ultimately took 40 years. Through it all, his two older siblings, Miriam and Aaron, served beside him.
In this passage, Miriam and Aaron verbally criticized Moses because of his wife. They evidently didn’t like the woman he chose to marry because she was a Cushite. They may have been speaking about Zipporah, Moses’ wife who was from Midian, or about another woman he later married. Either way, their complaint concerned the woman’s ethnicity. It appears they weren’t happy with her—and they weren’t happy with Moses for marrying her.
In reality, however, there was more to this story.
The real issue came out when they asked: “Does the Lord speak only through Moses? Does He not also speak through us?” (v. 2). Their dislike of Moses’ wife was only a façade—a smokescreen that covered their true motivations. At the core, Miriam was jealous. She was comparing herself with her brother. Moses was God’s mouthpiece. He had the platform and the prominence. He was the miracle worker on a first-name basis with God and met with Him face-to-face. All eyes were on Moses.
But what about Miriam?
Miriam felt slighted by God. He hadn’t lifted her to a place of respect and honor like her brother, but she felt she deserved it. “Does He not also speak through us?” In essence, she was asking, “What about me?”
Miriam may have felt she had all the qualities of a good leader, but Moses had something she didn’t: humility. “Moses was a very humble man, more so than any man on the face of the earth” (v. 3). Now that’s saying something! It may even be that Miriam’s cynicism toward her brother was fueled by Moses’ humility. God was doing great things through Moses, yet he acted as if he was unaware of his giftedness.
There’s no room for humility in a critical heart.
Numbers 12:4-11
Verse 4 gives me flashbacks of being called to the principal’s office in middle school: “Suddenly the Lord said to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, ‘You three come out to the tent of meeting.’” God was not pleased.
God won’t tolerate a critical spirit. He confronted Miriam, and He corrected her thinking and her attitude toward her brother. Then He disciplined her: “As the cloud moved away from the tent, Miriam’s skin suddenly became diseased, as white as snow” (v. 10). There’s always a price to pay for nursing a critical spirit—and not just for the people we hurt with our jealousy and criticism. We pay the price ourselves.
Granted, it’s not likely that we’ll be stricken with an infectious skin disease as punishment. Yet we may be more similar to Miriam than we realize. When a person developed a skin disease in the Israelite community, he or she was separated from the rest of the people. Isolated. When we’re critical of others, it grieves the Holy Spirit who calls us to be kind and compassionate (see Eph. 4:30-32), which causes a break in our fellowship with God.
In both cases, criticism separates us from others.
Let me address one specific area of criticism. God equips His followers with gifts and abilities for use in His kingdom. We don’t get to pick the gifts, but we do get to choose how we respond to the way God distributes those gifts. If we react negatively—like Miriam did by comparing herself and Aaron with Moses—we risk losing our effectiveness in using the gifts God has given us for His glory. Why? We become so obsessed with the shortcomings of others that we no longer can move forward and use our own gifts for the gospel.
Let’s avoid the consequences of the comparison game, which only grows into criticism.
What price do we
pay for having a
critical spirit?
pay for having a
critical spirit?
How can we help one other avoid a critical spirit?
Numbers12:13-15
A critical spirit is like a dead limb. It never bears good fruit, and it creeps into our hearts and steals away our ability to worship God. It must be cut away. If not, God will discipline us to make us fruitful (see John 15:1-4).
A critical spirit is like a dead limb. It never bears good fruit, and it creeps into our hearts and steals away our ability to worship God. It must be cut away. If not, God will discipline us to make us fruitful (see John 15:1-4).
God struck Miriam with a skin disease, but His purpose was to discipline, not to condemn. Aaron confessed in verse 11—identifying what he and Miriam had done as sin—and he pleaded for her deliverance. Moses also prayed, “God, please heal her!” (v. 13).
Fortunately for Miriam, God responded. It’s not clear if the healing was immediate, but the fact that Miriam could be brought back into the camp after seven days indicates God healed her. Still, as a part of the discipline process, Miriam had to endure the humiliation of being isolated from the others for seven days. (The law in Leviticus 13 required this as a part of dealing with skin diseases.)
By God’s grace, Miriam’s condition was not fatal—and it was not final. Miriam was confined for a season outside the camp, but she was eventually restored and reunited with her family. Ultimately, Miriam was remembered among the Israelites for her leadership, not for her critical spirit (see Micah 6:4).
Just as Miriam’s failure in this area was not the final word, neither does it have to be in our lives. God can redeem us even from a critical spirit.
People often isolate themselves through a critical
spirit. What steps can we take to restore them to
the community?
spirit. What steps can we take to restore them to
the community?
LIVE IT OUT
What will you do to fight against a critical spirit in your own life?
Consider taking one of these steps in the week to come:
Consider taking one of these steps in the week to come:
- Observe. Watch how you talk about other people. Keep track of your words and the attitude of your heart when you’re commenting on other people, their successes, and their failures.
- Confess. Own up to any habits of comparison or jealousy that may have taken root in your life. Ask God to help you change into healthier patterns of celebration.
- Speak. Speak the truth in love (see Eph. 4:15), but focus on encouraging those around you. Words that encourage build others up (see Eph. 4:29) and can lead them to the gospel of Christ they see reflected in you.
Like most people in today’s world, you regularly encounter the critical spirits of others. Yet you don’t have to give in to that criticism. You can resist the damage and move away from a critical spirit by humbly seeking God, as Moses did.
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Teacher's Notes:
REDEEMED FROM A CRITICAL SPIRIT
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The Point: A critical spirit damages our lives.
We are living in a time where Criticism is almost like the air we breathe!
I. A CRITICAL SPIRIT ARISES FROM A SELFISH FOCUS – NUMBERS 12:1-3
Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife, for he had married a Cushite. 2 “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses?” they asked. “Hasn’t he also spoken through us?” And the Lord heard this. 3 (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)
Why did Miriam and Aaron criticize Moses for this?
- Moses didn’t have a Jewish wife because he lived with the Egyptians the first 40 years of his life and he was in the desert the next 40 years. The women is probably not Zipporah, his first wife, as she was a Midianite (Exodus 2:21). A Cushite was an Ethiopian. There is no explanation given for why Miriam objected to this woman.
- Either way, their complaint concerned the woman’s ethnicity. It appears they weren’t happy with her—and they weren’t happy with Moses for marrying her. God had forbidden the Hebrews to marry people from certain nations, but the Cushites were not included (Exodus 34:16). Miriam may have been driven by personal prejudice. Aaron may have simply followed along, since he seemed rather weak-willed (Ex. 32:21-24). It was a heartless criticism.
- People often argue over minor disagreements, leaving the real issue untouched. Such was the case when Miriam and Aaron came to Moses with a complaint. They represented the priests and the prophets, the two most powerful groups next to Moses. The real issue was their growing jealousy of Moses’ position and influence. Since they couldn’t find fault with the way Moses was leading the people, they chose to criticize his wife. Rather than face the problem squarely by dealing with their envy and pride, they chose to create a diversion from the real issue. When you are in disagreement, stop and ask yourself if you are arguing over the real issue or if you have introduced a smoke screen by attacking someone’s character. If you are unjustly criticized, remember that your critics may be afraid to face the real problem. Don’t take this type of criticism personally. Ask God to help you identify the real issue and deal with it.
- In reality, however, there was more to this story. The real issue came out when they asked: “Does the Lord speak only through Moses? Does He not also speak through us?” (v. 2). Their dislike of Moses’ wife was only a façade—a smokescreen that covered their true motivations. At the core, Miriam was jealous. She was comparing herself with her brother. Moses was God’s mouthpiece. He had the platform and the prominence. He was the miracle worker on a first-name basis with God and met with Him face-to-face. All eyes were on Moses. They set out to undermine Moses’ leadership. Moses had recently appointed seventy elders to help him lead the nation. Miriam was a prophetess (Exodus 15:20), and Aaron was the high priest. They may have been angry that they were left out. Even the most effective leaders are subject to criticism. Some critics use superficial issues as the basis for their criticism to cover the true reason for their criticism, which would reveal their own selfishness and jealousy. Moses declined to respond to the criticism. He was meek. Adrian Rogers used to define meekness as “strength under control.” He may have decided to let God handle it. Humility is a desirable trait that ought to mark every servant of the Lord.
- Miriam gets results when she criticizes Moses — just not the type of results she wanted. Her goal was to elevate herself while tearing Moses down, yet the result was her own humiliation and isolation, caused directly by God himself.
Why is it so easy to fall into the trap of making comparisons?
- When we play the comparison game, it becomes easy to fall prey to criticism. Comparing ourselves to others can lead to discontentment and dissatisfaction, and such discontentment leads to further problems, such as a critical spirit. Contentment comes only when we take the focus off of ourselves and place it on God. God will place in us an ambition – a desire – to serve His kingdom.
What is a Critical Spirit?
- Criticism is “an act of criticizing; to judge as a critic; to find fault; to blame or condemn.” Romans 14:10-13 tells us not to tear down fellow believers through criticism or judgment, because this can pose a stumbling block and cause serious damage to their faith. Among God’s warnings in Scripture, there are none more serious than the Matthew 18:6 warning to not become a stumbling block to His followers. Have you ever noticed: We tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions? The truth is, we can’t rightly judge anyone else, because we don’t have a heart x-ray machine. That is to say, we don’t know the motivations of their heart. We should be content to judge only ourselves and seek to bring our own lives in alignment with God’s Word (1 Cor. 11:31).
- A “critical spirit,” is an obsessive attitude of criticism and fault-finding, which seeks to tear down others rather than build up. Destructive criticism is different from constructive feedback. The only criticism that is ever constructive is that which speaks the truth in love, to build up or edify another person for his or her good and for God’s glory.
- A critical spirit dwells on the negative, looks for flaws rather than positive qualities in others. They are constantly complaining or criticizing and usually upset with something or somebody. They often have little control over their tongue, their temper and have tendencies for gossip, slander, strife and malice. These are some of the sins spoken of by Paul in Romans 1:29-32.
What are some of the main motivations behind our desire to criticize?
- Self-Esteem
- Jealousy
- Power
Point: When we’re critical we begin to nag, exaggerate, and make big deals out of little things…people respond to praise more than they respond to criticism.
Constructive Criticism vs Destructive Jealousy
Some people just go through life focused on what’s wrong instead of what’s right.
- They have a habit of seeing only the negative. New home – 1,000 things right but they will find that one thing wrong and point it out. We can go through life looking for people’s strengths or their weaknesses.
Do you know anyone who has a critical spirit?
- I’m sure we all do. But the question that we really need to consider is: Do you have a critical spirit, and if so, how would you know? If you have a critical or judgmental spirit, you would probably refer to it euphemistically? You would probably refer to this poisonous character quality by saying something like: “I’m just being discerning,” or “I’m just being honest,” or “Get real, I’m just telling it like it is.” Do you ruminate on your negative feelings, thinking about how bad or wrong something or someone was? Do you say things like: “I can’t believe he was such a bad listener; man, is he full of himself.” Or: “She is so vain.” Or: “Look at her clothes! I wonder how much money she spends on her wardrobe.” Sometimes the negativity of our hearts finds its way to the tongue, and other times it just stays in our hearts. Either way, the root sin of a critical spirit is the same.
Is your window tainted? Do you need to clean the window you look out of?
How do we keep ourselves from making a mess with our mouth? Here are several questions to ask yourself before you open your mouth for criticism.
1. Are my comments against the person or what they are doing or saying?
- There’s nothing wrong with trying to help someone see things about themselves that need improving. But the "why" and the "way" in which we say it are vitally important. The attack of Miriam and Aaron on their little brother was personal, not ideological. We can always tell if our criticism is taking the wrong tone when we begin to attack the person. Whether we are talking with our spouse, a friend, a co-worker, or someone in authority over us - if we feel criticism is absolutely necessary, it should not be directed toward the person. Instead, it should lovingly be directed at what the person is saying or doing.
2. Does my criticism mask the real reason for my verbal attack?
- Miriam and Aaron were critical of Moses for marrying a woman of another race. Truth is, prohibitions against interracial marriage are man-made. They didn’t originate with God. (Yes, God did tell His people not to inter-marry with non-believers, but that is certainly not a race issue.)
- The attack on Moses’ integrity was simply a smokescreen to draw attention away from the real reason his siblings were upset with him. They were upset that all of the attention and all of the speaking opportunities were going to Moses. (Verse 2) Our motive is always central when we talk to or about others. Put plainly, Miriam and Aaron suffered from envy and jealousy.
- If you find yourself tempted to be envious or jealous of another take some time to reconsider the opportunities God has given you. Aaron was the only man on the planet who could enter the Most Holy Place on the Day of Atonement. As High Priest of Israel he was a type of Christ! What a position of great magnitude and honor! Moses could have been jealous of Aaron but he wasn’t. The Bible says Moses was meek. (Verse 3) His humility kept him from envy and jealousy. Miriam had been the one who had cleverly saved Moses’ life as a baby. Hers was a place of great honor in the camp of the Israelites. She prophesied and led the Israelites in worship and praise to God at the Red Sea at a time when female prophets were rare. But Moses’ wasn’t critical of her. He was not jealous.
- The key is not to focus on the doors of opportunity God has opened for others. The key is to concentrate on the openings God brings to us.
3. Have I cleared my criticism with God?
- Verse 3 emphatically states the obvious reality that, when Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses, "the Lord heard it." Of course God hears everything. That’s a sobering thought we need to consider in all of our conversation. We need to practice the presence of God in our communication - especially in our criticisms. If you don’t mind God hearing what you say, and how you say it, then it’s okay to speak.
4. Am I helping or hurting by what I am saying?
- It’s not enough that something is true. It must be necessary and helpful for us to verbalize. Ephesians 4:29 - "Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." The comments made by Miriam and Aaron had to hurt. They hurt God. They hurt Moses. They hurt the family of God. They even hurt the critics themselves.
Criticism is a sin and it breeds consequences.
Criticism of fellow believers is a reflection on God. God often has mercy and our confession of guilt will sometimes cause Him to withhold punishment. But sometimes He sets an example. Let’s read on…
II. GOD REJECTS A CRITICAL SPIRIT – NUMBERS 12:4-11
4 At once the Lord said to Moses, Aaron and Miriam, “Come out to the tent of meeting, all three of you.” So the three of them went out. 5 Then the Lord came down in a pillar of cloud; he stood at the entrance to the tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When the two of them stepped forward, 6 he said, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams. 7 But this is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. 8 With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?” 9 The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them. 10 When the cloud lifted from above the tent, Miriam’s skin was leprous[a]—it became as white as snow. Aaron turned toward her and saw that she had a defiling skin disease, 11 and he said to Moses, “Please, my lord, I ask you not to hold against us the sin we have so foolishly committed.
This is none other than a heavenly confrontation. God rebuked Miriam and Aaron for their criticism.
- He instructed Moses, Miriam, and Aaron to gather at the tabernacle, where He spoke to them directly. Evidently He addressed them in an audible voice. He appeared to them in a pillar of cloud, so there was no mistaking that this was the voice of God. He reaffirmed Moses as the chosen leader of the people. He would continue to speak to prophets through dreams and visions. He would communicate with Moses in a more direct manner.
What does this have to do with us today?
- God has established structures of authority in the church and in society as a whole, and we have a duty to respect them. This not only applies to pastors, but lay leaders as well. God ordained civil government (Romans 13:1-5). Leadership is necessary for order to be maintained. Many of us have had the unpleasant experience of attending meetings where everyone tries to be in charge. The inevitable result is chaos. My Dad was a WWII soldier, and he always taught us to respect authority. As a sergeant, he knew what it was like to serve under officers who were less than competent. Nevertheless, they were his superiors and he was obliged to respect them. He once told me, “Your boss isn’t always right, but he’s still the boss.” This does not mean we should blindly follow all leaders. When leaders are teaching heresy or are guilty of immoral conduct, the church has a duty to call them to account. We should follow the laws of the land as much as possible, but we must obey God first (Acts 5:29).
What price do we pay for having a critical spirit?
- We are accountable before God for our sin against others, for sin against others also is a sin against God.
- We need to exercise caution in speaking against those whom the Lord has called out for His service.
The Lord does not take sin lightly; neither should we.
III. GOD’S DISCIPLINE RESTORES – NUMBERS 12:13-15
13 So Moses cried out to the Lord, “Please, God, heal her!” 14 The Lord replied to Moses, “If her father had spit in her face, would she not have been in disgrace for seven days? Confine her outside the camp for seven days; after that she can be brought back.” 15 So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on till she was brought back.
Sometimes there are harsh consequences. God struck Miriam with leprosy.
- Aaron admitted to Moses that they had sinned. Evidently Miriam had a very severe form of leprosy, since Aaron feared for her life. Moses intervened on her behalf (even though she had done wrong, she was still his sister and he loved her). Miriam was shut out of the camp for seven days. Even though God healed her, she was ceremonially unclean (Lev. 13:4). God forgives sin, but He does not always roll back the consequences.
How can celebration be a cure for criticism?
- The cure for criticism is celebration. If you want to kill the critic inside of you, begin celebrating the successes of others. When you do, little by little, you will notice a change in your heart. Your disposition will shift away from criticism toward celebration. Not only will you become a more pleasant person, but others also will be drawn to you as a friend because of your positive and encouraging spirit.
What can you learn from Moses response to criticism and to critics that you can apply when you face criticism?
- Even when wronged, the faithful servant of God appeals to God on behalf of his offenders.
- The Lord exercises discipline with the intent of bringing about restoration.
The motives behind criticism are often more important to deal with than the criticism itself.
Conclusion: We must learn to rein in our tongues. A critical spirit not only discourages other people, but it can create division in the body of Christ. Sowing discord among brethren is an abomination (Prov. 6:16-19). What if your criticisms are legitimate? Be careful of your motives. Are you truly concerned about the health of the church, or are you simply feeding your own ego? Make sure you state your criticism in the right way. Dr. Gray Allison, the founding president of Mid-America Seminary, used to say, “It’s easy to do the right thing in the wrong way, and that’s almost as bad as doing the wrong thing.”
Prayer of Commitment
Forgive me, Lord, for those things I say that damage others. Give me love and grace toward those who criticize me. Amen.
Hope to see you on Sunday!
In His Love,
David & Susan
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